The tale of the two boyfriends
Ok, so yes, part of me really hoped that when X found out I was with someone new, he would come to realize how much he missed me and want me back. I admit that. But I hadn't made an actual plan, other than make him jealous. So yeah, I think I succeeded. I mean, he hasn't come crawling back, but I think he's jealous. And that's not fair to either of them. I'm a bad person. I don't want to hurt anyone. I want to be happy. I want X to be happy. If we could ever be happy together again, awesome. But I don't know. It requires a plan. So here it is:
1. Start flossing (check) - X is a big proponent
2. Get finances in order (making progress!) - it really matters to X, in an annoying way, but whatever, I've been trying to do that for months anyway. He just doesn't see that because he's stubborn and he thinks living in a frat house somehow makes him fiscally responsible. I am considering my job options right now too so I could be making lots more $$ soon!
3. Pursue my own activities (major check - joined roller derby and have been spending lots more time with my friends than ever before)
4. Stop smoking (no progress yet but I definitely am thinking about it more often).
5. Go back to therapy (X has indicated that this is a necessity and I like therapy anyway; it's just been hard doing it without a car, BUT there's a new place right across from my house that I can go to).
Ok, so if I do all those things, I think things could really work out with me and X. I mean, those are things I should do anyway, for myself, but if it helped me get X back, all the better.
In the meantime, jeez, I really do like SD. I even miss him a little. So I don't know. I feel bad thinking about "the one that got away" when I'm with someone who accepts me with all my flaws already. But damn, I still love X so much. And it's motivation to make life improvements, right?
1. Start flossing (check) - X is a big proponent
2. Get finances in order (making progress!) - it really matters to X, in an annoying way, but whatever, I've been trying to do that for months anyway. He just doesn't see that because he's stubborn and he thinks living in a frat house somehow makes him fiscally responsible. I am considering my job options right now too so I could be making lots more $$ soon!
3. Pursue my own activities (major check - joined roller derby and have been spending lots more time with my friends than ever before)
4. Stop smoking (no progress yet but I definitely am thinking about it more often).
5. Go back to therapy (X has indicated that this is a necessity and I like therapy anyway; it's just been hard doing it without a car, BUT there's a new place right across from my house that I can go to).
Ok, so if I do all those things, I think things could really work out with me and X. I mean, those are things I should do anyway, for myself, but if it helped me get X back, all the better.
In the meantime, jeez, I really do like SD. I even miss him a little. So I don't know. I feel bad thinking about "the one that got away" when I'm with someone who accepts me with all my flaws already. But damn, I still love X so much. And it's motivation to make life improvements, right?