Conservation of movement
I'm blogging to clear my mind at the moment. It seems I have found myself at a crossroads. For once in my life I am starring down the barrel of tremendous opportunity on all fronts. How I play my hand will dictate the quality of my life for the rest of my life and it is a very daunting process. The problem I am struggling with is I have more options than time but in my mind there is an answer, conservation of movement and effort. Great guitar players can rifle through 40 or 50 note runs and barely move their picking hands using this concept. This is the only way speed and precision are possible because sloppy exaggerated movements do not yield the necessary result. My realization is I have to approach my options with ferocity and a calculated effort that amounts to a greater focus than I have ever had in my life.
Focus
Focus
Focus.....
Decisions
Decisions
Decisions.
The word decision is derived from Latin and it literally means 'to cut off from'. When you decide anything you are cutting off other paths you may take and commit to one way. Right now, that decision is really taxing me because what I have to cut off is other things that take up the commodity that I lack the least of....Time. My music and musical ambitions are suffering at the moment. I have a fledgling business that has powerful people involved but my problem with it is also complicated....That is, I see the people involved are going to be bigger benefactors to my efforts than I. While at the same time, I have the most risk involved because they are all set up in life with lucrative carriers and the other with a Pa with mega bucks. If I drop the ball, I lose my job with no safety net....
I want to have it all with my current job being the odd member out but in reality that is dangerous. Yet, if I don't take a risk soon and start making things happen I will end up like my dad(poor, old, broke with health problems)... I'd kill at this point for a good woman that would have my back and help motivate me support my ambition instead of just blasting another blog out into cyberspace while spending yet more time alone staring at this blank screen. (At least my avatar is amusing.)
Change
Change
Change
I need to make some radical changes. Since I have had my neck injured I started smoking again and self destructing. This always seems to be what happens to me when I hit a peak. I self-destruct. 3 months ago I was in the best physical condition of my life and now I am drinking every weekend and smoking again. I need to cut the self destruction bit from my life. Most of this current spell is brought on by meeting a few women that I thought could become that partner I have been looking for but for some reason or another I just don't measure up. It really fucks with me... I turned away a girl that I was relatively happy with because I would have to compromise too much to be with her...but now I miss that connection albeit it tiny. I have been trying to spin that in a manner that is positive....that is, I barely have time to roll my ambition out and would probably be a terrible mate. So, I tell myself.
I have disconnected on a number of levels lately and my yoga has also slipped through my fingers. That was such a powerful force in my life that I regret I quit... Why did I quit? Why did I quit again?
I am thinking I need to go see a shrink. Maybe a disconnected point of view can get me back on all cylinders... For now... I am using my power of discontent to drive me back into the game... I cannot drive me the ball 95 yards and quit on the goal line.
I have the power of now. I can change it all tomorrow and this post is my commitment to myself to take massive action to get it all together. I left my business meeting abruptly tonight after everything was going well to go watch the sunset at gas works park. I sat on the hill, listened to my favorite song, smoked my last cigarette and visualized a great elephant trunk wrapped around me as if to set me on its head and have the power to knock down these obstacles. I have that power, I have that will
So let it be done...
End transmission............................
Focus
Focus
Focus.....
Decisions
Decisions
Decisions.
The word decision is derived from Latin and it literally means 'to cut off from'. When you decide anything you are cutting off other paths you may take and commit to one way. Right now, that decision is really taxing me because what I have to cut off is other things that take up the commodity that I lack the least of....Time. My music and musical ambitions are suffering at the moment. I have a fledgling business that has powerful people involved but my problem with it is also complicated....That is, I see the people involved are going to be bigger benefactors to my efforts than I. While at the same time, I have the most risk involved because they are all set up in life with lucrative carriers and the other with a Pa with mega bucks. If I drop the ball, I lose my job with no safety net....
I want to have it all with my current job being the odd member out but in reality that is dangerous. Yet, if I don't take a risk soon and start making things happen I will end up like my dad(poor, old, broke with health problems)... I'd kill at this point for a good woman that would have my back and help motivate me support my ambition instead of just blasting another blog out into cyberspace while spending yet more time alone staring at this blank screen. (At least my avatar is amusing.)
Change
Change
Change
I need to make some radical changes. Since I have had my neck injured I started smoking again and self destructing. This always seems to be what happens to me when I hit a peak. I self-destruct. 3 months ago I was in the best physical condition of my life and now I am drinking every weekend and smoking again. I need to cut the self destruction bit from my life. Most of this current spell is brought on by meeting a few women that I thought could become that partner I have been looking for but for some reason or another I just don't measure up. It really fucks with me... I turned away a girl that I was relatively happy with because I would have to compromise too much to be with her...but now I miss that connection albeit it tiny. I have been trying to spin that in a manner that is positive....that is, I barely have time to roll my ambition out and would probably be a terrible mate. So, I tell myself.
I have disconnected on a number of levels lately and my yoga has also slipped through my fingers. That was such a powerful force in my life that I regret I quit... Why did I quit? Why did I quit again?
I am thinking I need to go see a shrink. Maybe a disconnected point of view can get me back on all cylinders... For now... I am using my power of discontent to drive me back into the game... I cannot drive me the ball 95 yards and quit on the goal line.
I have the power of now. I can change it all tomorrow and this post is my commitment to myself to take massive action to get it all together. I left my business meeting abruptly tonight after everything was going well to go watch the sunset at gas works park. I sat on the hill, listened to my favorite song, smoked my last cigarette and visualized a great elephant trunk wrapped around me as if to set me on its head and have the power to knock down these obstacles. I have that power, I have that will
So let it be done...
End transmission............................