(no subject)
this is a long post, you don't have to bother reading about my relationship philosophy.
so... i'm still sick... its been two weeks and i'm pissed.
this shitty chest cold i got while i had strep will NOT go away. i keep hacking nonstop.
meanwhile it feels like i can't be myself around juan. if i even mention the fact that i smoke to him, he gets super judgmental and makes me feel like a bad person even though i never smoke around him anymore and have cut back so much it's insane. he's also been talking down to me more and more as if i'm some child he feels like he needs to guide through life. he's stopped doing random romantic gestures which i get because we've been together for a little while now, but now he doesn't do much at all to make me feel special ever. i'm not sure where this sudden surge of jerk is coming from but i'm not really a fan.
and another thing...
if your girlfriend is feeling down and would like to hear a compliment from the boy she is dating
you DO NOT tell her that it's going to go to her head and she's conceited.
nooooo sir. you tell her she's pretty and call it a day.
juan, i still care about you beyond reason but i just really hope this trend doesn't keep up. i'd hate to lose you to some asshole who resembles my boyfriend.
i met someone from sacramento this week because lara told me, "your soulmate is at the beach with me. he brought his ukulele."
i got in my car and drove over right away.
he is the sweetest thing and actually COMPLIMENTS me and doesn't make me feel like a dumb child.
and it's nice to talk to someone who is actually HAPPY that i'm moving and changing my life.
it just feels shitty to meet someone who you are more compatible with and more attracted to while you're dating someone else. it helps feed in to the whole "you're young you obviously don't understand love" deal. like i have relationship ADHD. i will admit that i can jump from boy to boy but honestly, that's a trait that comes with my personality NOT with my age. meet my mother. she's 49 and is STILL going from boyfriend to boyfriend. i understand love perfectly well, but when a person changes... a person changes. why try to force something that isn't working when i'm sure there's someone out there who:
A) will make me willing and want to work hard at our relationship even if it gets rough
and
B) when they DO change, it will still be into a person who i love and adore and will continue to grow with and share things with.
yet i'm starting to have less and less in common with my person.
so... i'm still sick... its been two weeks and i'm pissed.
this shitty chest cold i got while i had strep will NOT go away. i keep hacking nonstop.
meanwhile it feels like i can't be myself around juan. if i even mention the fact that i smoke to him, he gets super judgmental and makes me feel like a bad person even though i never smoke around him anymore and have cut back so much it's insane. he's also been talking down to me more and more as if i'm some child he feels like he needs to guide through life. he's stopped doing random romantic gestures which i get because we've been together for a little while now, but now he doesn't do much at all to make me feel special ever. i'm not sure where this sudden surge of jerk is coming from but i'm not really a fan.
and another thing...
if your girlfriend is feeling down and would like to hear a compliment from the boy she is dating
you DO NOT tell her that it's going to go to her head and she's conceited.
nooooo sir. you tell her she's pretty and call it a day.
juan, i still care about you beyond reason but i just really hope this trend doesn't keep up. i'd hate to lose you to some asshole who resembles my boyfriend.
i met someone from sacramento this week because lara told me, "your soulmate is at the beach with me. he brought his ukulele."
i got in my car and drove over right away.
he is the sweetest thing and actually COMPLIMENTS me and doesn't make me feel like a dumb child.
and it's nice to talk to someone who is actually HAPPY that i'm moving and changing my life.
it just feels shitty to meet someone who you are more compatible with and more attracted to while you're dating someone else. it helps feed in to the whole "you're young you obviously don't understand love" deal. like i have relationship ADHD. i will admit that i can jump from boy to boy but honestly, that's a trait that comes with my personality NOT with my age. meet my mother. she's 49 and is STILL going from boyfriend to boyfriend. i understand love perfectly well, but when a person changes... a person changes. why try to force something that isn't working when i'm sure there's someone out there who:
A) will make me willing and want to work hard at our relationship even if it gets rough
and
B) when they DO change, it will still be into a person who i love and adore and will continue to grow with and share things with.
yet i'm starting to have less and less in common with my person.