.1720 - we watched the sunset over the castle on the hill
It is with a heavy heart that I am saying goodbye to this place.
My journal won't be deleted. It holds too many memories. Back in March I said I didn't want it to end the way we thought it would end, that I wanted to end this on my own terms. That day has come. Maybe one day I will return to LJ.
My last update was the beginning of March when we assumed LJ was doomed. Although in the days following I saw that wasn't the case, I have not been here since. I kept meaning to pop in and say something, but it was a fleeting thought.
June 5th was the fourth anniversary of Keith's passing. This time around was more emotional than before and I'm not really sure why. June 19th was the seventh anniversary of his first seizure that subsequently lead to the GBM diagnosis. Needless to say, I hate June with the fire of a thousand suns.
I suppose the biggest change in my life is that I've joined two online dating sites. Other than being ghosted a handful of times, not much has happened. I have felt frustration, anger, and sadness on the sites. I'm not looking for a solution or to be told that "it's part of online dating", I just need to vent. The amount of idiots on there is staggering, but at the same time I have to figure out how to let my feelings go. I have lost hope. Hope hasn't gotten me anywhere so why even bother holding onto it. I'll stay on the sites considering I've paid, but at this point it feels like a lost cause.
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Thank you for all the support, laughs, encouragement, and tears. Thank you for always listening and believing in me, even when I didn't believe in myself. Thank you for never giving up on me, and most of all thank you for your friendship. All of you will always be in my heart.
As a reminder, you can find me on Twitter (Arvanna34) and IG (lisamh34).
*group hug* I love you all.