crunchwraps with love
this is it. the last week of studio.
i am very excited, but cautiously so. this is the first time that i have had a professor that gives grades, and i have found out that i have a high b. i really want to get an a, it won't kill me if i don't, but it would be AWESOME if i did. i feel like i have a very strong project. each studio it seems this semester, or at least mine and the one drew is in, have a select percentage that will probably not finish their final and thus not make a very positive grade this semester. and being on the cusp of fourth year, our grades now make or break the direction of the rest of our career here. and quite frankly, i feel like it decides whether or not we go on into the architectural field.
i have been very busy, done some great work, have had my ups and downs. the downs weren't so great. as crazy as it sounds, if i miss two days of this medicine, i have a meltdown. i don't know if my meltdowns are based on missing the medicine or some other factor, but the majority of this week and this whole weekend has been great.
drew is amazing. i don't know what the future holds for us, but i really like how i'm not trying to determine my entire future life story. "knowing" i was going to get married to jon really kind of took the adventure and progression out of the relationship. if he was going to "ask" to marry me, it wouldn't have been a surprise, and that just seems kinda lame if you ask me.
drew has been so supportive of me and my ups and downs, with my work and everything else. it's been fun on the weekends, when we don't have anything to do, to get outside and throw the frisbee, just the two of us, or wake up in the morning together and going to rdh to eat breakfast. korean came in my room friday night to complain about how drew made her uncomfortable, just by being there and how she wanted him to leave (this was while drew was in the bathroom and then when he got out of the bathroom, was talking to leah). korean said that he also made leah uncomfortable (which didn't make sense to me since they were having a conversation together), and that it seemed that he had been over everyday last week (he was only over on tuesday). me and drew talked about maybe she heard ... noises, so ok, we work on being quiet. but she didn't say anything about that. or maybe she was too uncomfortable to say, "i heard you getting off." her complaints just seemed unjustified, because of the lack of validity of her complaints. i don't know what or if she heard anything, and i honestly, can have anyone i want over in MY OWN BEDROOM. it would be one thing if we were screaming and throwing things and playing loud music. but when we're laying down watching a movie on a soft volume, wtf mate?
i'm just tired of the drama, because it just seems so not a big deal. maybe it's because i don't want to admit my faults. i care about my room mates though, and i don't want korean to be uncomfortable. i've just realized that dispite our trials and tribulations, and my personal ups and downs, that fact that drew is staying around is telling me that me and drew are sticking together for a while. i have things i need to work on. but also, i am just not "gelling" with the room mates. i'm hardly ever around there, and either they're in their rooms all the time, or out doing other things. squires is dead, almost as dead as the rectangles.
being here at drew's after friday night's encounter with korean, i have realized that i love being here and around all of these people hanging out, i like going to the cafeteria once and a while, just being around social interaction, it's all part of the college experience that i feel like i am missing living in squires with all the rich people who stay in their rooms, who are involved in something else, or who do other things that i am not into, such as partying, etc. here i was all excited to get an on campus apartment next semester, and i'm signed up to be in one, but it's squires, and the same room mates, minus korean. and while i would be ok with that, and that all my room mates are sweet people, i am ready to move on and meet some more outgoing people that i have more in common with and who don't sweat the small stuff, or who aren't grossed out about not shaving everyday. i'm not sure what to do. but i'm thinking of living somewhere else than squires again.
and all the boys are here. the more i hang out with them, here i am realizing that i am in my element. me and some boys. because they are real, aren't into drama, a lot more easy going, etc. sometimes i have been thinking about living here in this high rise, but at the same time, i wonder what living in the same building as drew would be like. i'll have to think about it.
i think he is in love with me. it is a really neat feeling. eeee!
so here we are, on a sunday night, one thirty in the morning, four boys in here playing mario party and i'm up on the bed writing this and working on my model. i love this. here, in this highrise, a grid of shelves full of shoeboxes, we are in one, a little shoebox of life. i am feeling so much better, and i am thinking, why let time go by alone, when you can be with other people? duh, i know. but i have been shutting myself away so much. i feel like it is time for that to stop. it's been time a long time ago.
i am very excited, but cautiously so. this is the first time that i have had a professor that gives grades, and i have found out that i have a high b. i really want to get an a, it won't kill me if i don't, but it would be AWESOME if i did. i feel like i have a very strong project. each studio it seems this semester, or at least mine and the one drew is in, have a select percentage that will probably not finish their final and thus not make a very positive grade this semester. and being on the cusp of fourth year, our grades now make or break the direction of the rest of our career here. and quite frankly, i feel like it decides whether or not we go on into the architectural field.
i have been very busy, done some great work, have had my ups and downs. the downs weren't so great. as crazy as it sounds, if i miss two days of this medicine, i have a meltdown. i don't know if my meltdowns are based on missing the medicine or some other factor, but the majority of this week and this whole weekend has been great.
drew is amazing. i don't know what the future holds for us, but i really like how i'm not trying to determine my entire future life story. "knowing" i was going to get married to jon really kind of took the adventure and progression out of the relationship. if he was going to "ask" to marry me, it wouldn't have been a surprise, and that just seems kinda lame if you ask me.
drew has been so supportive of me and my ups and downs, with my work and everything else. it's been fun on the weekends, when we don't have anything to do, to get outside and throw the frisbee, just the two of us, or wake up in the morning together and going to rdh to eat breakfast. korean came in my room friday night to complain about how drew made her uncomfortable, just by being there and how she wanted him to leave (this was while drew was in the bathroom and then when he got out of the bathroom, was talking to leah). korean said that he also made leah uncomfortable (which didn't make sense to me since they were having a conversation together), and that it seemed that he had been over everyday last week (he was only over on tuesday). me and drew talked about maybe she heard ... noises, so ok, we work on being quiet. but she didn't say anything about that. or maybe she was too uncomfortable to say, "i heard you getting off." her complaints just seemed unjustified, because of the lack of validity of her complaints. i don't know what or if she heard anything, and i honestly, can have anyone i want over in MY OWN BEDROOM. it would be one thing if we were screaming and throwing things and playing loud music. but when we're laying down watching a movie on a soft volume, wtf mate?
i'm just tired of the drama, because it just seems so not a big deal. maybe it's because i don't want to admit my faults. i care about my room mates though, and i don't want korean to be uncomfortable. i've just realized that dispite our trials and tribulations, and my personal ups and downs, that fact that drew is staying around is telling me that me and drew are sticking together for a while. i have things i need to work on. but also, i am just not "gelling" with the room mates. i'm hardly ever around there, and either they're in their rooms all the time, or out doing other things. squires is dead, almost as dead as the rectangles.
being here at drew's after friday night's encounter with korean, i have realized that i love being here and around all of these people hanging out, i like going to the cafeteria once and a while, just being around social interaction, it's all part of the college experience that i feel like i am missing living in squires with all the rich people who stay in their rooms, who are involved in something else, or who do other things that i am not into, such as partying, etc. here i was all excited to get an on campus apartment next semester, and i'm signed up to be in one, but it's squires, and the same room mates, minus korean. and while i would be ok with that, and that all my room mates are sweet people, i am ready to move on and meet some more outgoing people that i have more in common with and who don't sweat the small stuff, or who aren't grossed out about not shaving everyday. i'm not sure what to do. but i'm thinking of living somewhere else than squires again.
and all the boys are here. the more i hang out with them, here i am realizing that i am in my element. me and some boys. because they are real, aren't into drama, a lot more easy going, etc. sometimes i have been thinking about living here in this high rise, but at the same time, i wonder what living in the same building as drew would be like. i'll have to think about it.
i think he is in love with me. it is a really neat feeling. eeee!
so here we are, on a sunday night, one thirty in the morning, four boys in here playing mario party and i'm up on the bed writing this and working on my model. i love this. here, in this highrise, a grid of shelves full of shoeboxes, we are in one, a little shoebox of life. i am feeling so much better, and i am thinking, why let time go by alone, when you can be with other people? duh, i know. but i have been shutting myself away so much. i feel like it is time for that to stop. it's been time a long time ago.