(no subject)
like always, i stressed out about the outcome of the semester, and it seems to get worse every semester, but i believe it is all working out, but i won't talk about it until i know for sure. it is so good to be home, i feel great.
i think i can say, that besides getting stressed out about things, that i am myself again. i really wish that i was proactive about beating my internal issues earlier in the game instead of settling with, oh, i have a problem, this is me now, things are different now, and letting it begin to consume me. despite my skepticism, group really worked for me, medicine did not, i had amazing support from my friends and collegues.
i feel strangly like a grown up and a kid at the same time. i ended my nights of drinking, wandering around, searching, and now i feel focused on school, focused as if i was in elementary school, and my entire scope of being was school because i didn't know about anything else. and things were innocent. here i was reading my journal from about a year ago and how i loved jon. now i am with drew and it is interesting because i am not in love with him. but he is amazing. i wonder if falling in love will come. but right now it feels good to know that he isn't all over me, that he isn't caught up in a moment of passion. he is just being. and i guess that is how i always imagined college should be. walking to the grocery store, working on homework together, eating ice cream out of the container together.... yes, it is ridiculously cute. it is interesting because it seems like a lot of people in our studio are shacking up together, which is very unprecedented. you don't date your collegues. it is just kind of neat because it adds this whole new layer of depth to the feeling of community we have in there.
hmm
i think i can say, that besides getting stressed out about things, that i am myself again. i really wish that i was proactive about beating my internal issues earlier in the game instead of settling with, oh, i have a problem, this is me now, things are different now, and letting it begin to consume me. despite my skepticism, group really worked for me, medicine did not, i had amazing support from my friends and collegues.
i feel strangly like a grown up and a kid at the same time. i ended my nights of drinking, wandering around, searching, and now i feel focused on school, focused as if i was in elementary school, and my entire scope of being was school because i didn't know about anything else. and things were innocent. here i was reading my journal from about a year ago and how i loved jon. now i am with drew and it is interesting because i am not in love with him. but he is amazing. i wonder if falling in love will come. but right now it feels good to know that he isn't all over me, that he isn't caught up in a moment of passion. he is just being. and i guess that is how i always imagined college should be. walking to the grocery store, working on homework together, eating ice cream out of the container together.... yes, it is ridiculously cute. it is interesting because it seems like a lot of people in our studio are shacking up together, which is very unprecedented. you don't date your collegues. it is just kind of neat because it adds this whole new layer of depth to the feeling of community we have in there.
hmm