Mar 10, 2007 11:38
Though derisively reviewed by A.O. Scott as a movie “twice as stupid as Apocalypyto” (which I don’t know much of, because I wasn’t interested in watching that movie), I was actually impressed by 300.
It might be the mood of the movie, the moody, slightly artsy, drawn out message, repeated a million times throughout its entirety, this is about freedom and no bloody reason can change King Leonidas’ mind into committing suicide!!!
I admit, it was foolish, even odd and funny that the battle scenes were straight off a freak show circus. I mean, an elephant, gangly, malformed warriors, and the fact that it took about three battles before the Spartans were actually hurt and actually looked destructible, would make you think that you’re watching an ideal battle straight off the King’s mind.
But, come off it, you don’t need reason to watch this film. At first I thought I was stupid and immediately came to the conclusion that I wasted so much of my college/high school days that I completely forgot my European history, but after watching an elephant and an I-had-no-clue-what-sort-of-animal-creature-that-was, I took off any rationality of watching it. It was just darn entertaining.
It’s pumped up brawn action, the perfect-almost glistening effect that only video games can do. In the words of Peter Travers of Rolling Stone magazine, “The rest is all battle, all the time. And fanboys will thrill to the carnage and presumably forgive the puffed-up dialogue and regrettable lack of characterization. 300 is a movie blood-drunk on its own artful excess. Guys of all ages and sexes won't be able to resist it.”
Oh, and of course, as a girl, who can resist those men in tight, skimpy Speedo-like gear. Heh, but in the most odd turns of all, Rodrigo (whom I was crushing on hard on Love, Actually) set off the homo erotic theme.) Picture this, a guy (Xerxes/Rodrigo) looking godlike tall of about 10 feet or maybe eight, putting his hand on King Leonidas while bearing that stick thin eyebrows and thoroughly caked up eyes. Ooh, sexy love.
And if you’re still not sold, Richard Roeper exclaims, (yes, if you actually read this in entirety, you can feel him shouting at you to watch the goddam film!!!!)”You want realism and devotion to the hard facts, watch the History Channel. You want to experience the Battle of Thermopylae as a nonstop thrill ride, here's your ticket.”
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On a different note, I just laughed at the cold and brutal truth of this quote:
"I met this girl one night and she was like, 'Why can't I get a guy that looks like Brad pitt?' And I turned to her and said, 'You gotta look like f*ckin' Angelina Jolie. So put down the gin and tonic and start going to the gym!"-Jonathan Rhys-Meyers