"You can't always be happy, but you can always fill your eye with beauty"
I'm never emotional here. I just write because I see that little livejournal pen thing in the corner and decide, "Hmm, I should say something" It's always something stupid and terribly written out. Much like this.
I just need to say that as much as I love Josh, and I feel like I could actually marry they guy, he's a bit of a flake and if he doesn't show up tomorrow I won't be surprized. But does it make him a bad person? Does it make this an awful relationship to be apart of if he continues to say he'll come up here, and nevere actually ends up doing it?
And as much as I swear I'll dump him if he doesn't show up one more time-- it's never actually true. Because how can I let one little silly event end up something that is extremely hot and well mannered and fun as this?
As Josh said, we don't see each other enough. But maybe I say that for a different reason. If every time we saw each other lasted longer than a few hours in spread out days, we'd probably be able to have more time to talk about what it is we're doing. Or even where we're going in life. Ever since I had started to call him my boyfriend to his friends, he's been less reluctant to tell me things like, "I miss you" and "You're beautiful"
But then, the other day at Eric's house, everyone was outside smoking while Eric and I were inside playing pool. We had a conversation that I wouldn't have with most, and admited things I don't normall admit with hesitation. It's the type of conversation I haven't had with Josh in a long time, where we partcipate in some sort of activity and talk about things in our lives. Lately, it's been many kisses, but what else would you expect when you haven't been with the person in 4 days?
I think what I'm saying and feeling now will be trivial in the morning when I actually have some sleep. And the only reason I've gone off on this tangent is because I know we won't come tomorrow. And I hate that everytime I feel it will be this time, and I get my hopes up. And when they come crashing down I don't know how to handle them. Because I don't have my same bed or a diet coke in the frige.
I still haven't told him about "Disney Prom" AAPHASAB/ Banquet and how it's on his birthday and I'm taking my friend Deep because I figured he wouldn't want to go on the day he turns 21. But he might've wanted me there with him. or possibily wanted to go? Or maybe it might just be a little strange that I'm going to a prom like event with another boy.... Whatever it is- I feel stupid for hiding it from him unintentionally.
sob sob emo story- I'm going to fucking bed.
I just need to say that as much as I love Josh, and I feel like I could actually marry they guy, he's a bit of a flake and if he doesn't show up tomorrow I won't be surprized. But does it make him a bad person? Does it make this an awful relationship to be apart of if he continues to say he'll come up here, and nevere actually ends up doing it?
And as much as I swear I'll dump him if he doesn't show up one more time-- it's never actually true. Because how can I let one little silly event end up something that is extremely hot and well mannered and fun as this?
As Josh said, we don't see each other enough. But maybe I say that for a different reason. If every time we saw each other lasted longer than a few hours in spread out days, we'd probably be able to have more time to talk about what it is we're doing. Or even where we're going in life. Ever since I had started to call him my boyfriend to his friends, he's been less reluctant to tell me things like, "I miss you" and "You're beautiful"
But then, the other day at Eric's house, everyone was outside smoking while Eric and I were inside playing pool. We had a conversation that I wouldn't have with most, and admited things I don't normall admit with hesitation. It's the type of conversation I haven't had with Josh in a long time, where we partcipate in some sort of activity and talk about things in our lives. Lately, it's been many kisses, but what else would you expect when you haven't been with the person in 4 days?
I think what I'm saying and feeling now will be trivial in the morning when I actually have some sleep. And the only reason I've gone off on this tangent is because I know we won't come tomorrow. And I hate that everytime I feel it will be this time, and I get my hopes up. And when they come crashing down I don't know how to handle them. Because I don't have my same bed or a diet coke in the frige.
I still haven't told him about "Disney Prom" AAPHASAB/ Banquet and how it's on his birthday and I'm taking my friend Deep because I figured he wouldn't want to go on the day he turns 21. But he might've wanted me there with him. or possibily wanted to go? Or maybe it might just be a little strange that I'm going to a prom like event with another boy.... Whatever it is- I feel stupid for hiding it from him unintentionally.
sob sob emo story- I'm going to fucking bed.