school is almost out!
so here we are once again. its almost the end of the year. after tomorrow all the seniors will be gone. its sad b/c this year i'm actually friends w/some of them and they are some cool ppl. lifes a bitch an dont it suck?! aight so maybe i can get this all down. gosh i really dont feel good like i'm physically ill right now....so anyway during the canada trip it was like the best time ever! that i've had in a long long time just to get away and hang out w/ppl i ususally dont talk to and have new friends and like someone that might turn out not to like me back. its a whole confusing complicated complex story. uh...so i like this guy and i heard he likes me. but now i dont think he does and i have no idea wut to do bout it cuz ahhh i jsut dont kno. ppl think i should talk to him but i'm like wut do i say and stuff like that and i dont think hes interested b/c there is some avoidance. kinda sucks. school hasnt been going that great. finals are coming up and all my classes are gettin harder cuz we have to memorize all this stuff. its completely overwhelming. i cant wait for the summer. i'm just real anxious bout everything though. and i'm pissed at ppl and everything just life ya kno. gosh its hard to explain. i feel so unwanted and misunderstood. i went on a walk w/lena the other day it helped but i dunno. i'm lacking somethin. can i die please? if i could cry i would but i just cant cuz it hurts so bad. why do ppl always have to put me down? why is it that nothing can just for once go right instead of screwing up every single fucking day. well i'm going to go before i do somethin i really regret....