The Horizon and the Light

[stuck_on_empty]

Ask me again how the antidote became this taciturn emotion. Life is a tradeoff. And look what I lost, what I left in the past and forgot to pick up along the way. The flow of society's productivity defines your life in the end anyway. I live in a selfish pursuit of success at whatever cost to my own humanity. Happiness is only societal

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Sacrificing all but humanity

[anonymous]

I have been feeling a little blue thinking about trade-offs, selling one's soul, the fact that we are all whores for the right price. I have always picked humanity and am often disappointed in the fact that no one else sees it as the obvious choice. I tend to pick openness and honesty over discretion and secrecy, also at an incredible price. Always there is the chaos. How much easier would life be if I just sold my soul to the highest bidder and kept silent? I have children, god dammit. I need to be an example of humanity, I tell myself! What good does it do if it just sets them up for the inevitable bitter fall? Is that is what happening to you my son? Are you collapsing under the pressure to define success and happiness but societal acceptance? And to what society are you selling your soul? Is it worth it? Is has to be worth it. Once it is sold, it is next to impossible to buy back. It is sort of like a cosmic pawn shop complete with thugs to break your legs (and spirit) if you don't pay the interest on the loan. Pretty soon you are just limping along with crushed limbs and no way to earn the currency to even keep up with the interest. The principle is lost to you. Then you get the shrouded eyes of those without souls. Look around. They are everywhere. Humanity is lost to them except for an occasional act of charity to use as a tax deduction. Dr Phil would ask,"Well, how's that working for you?" I would have to say, after 50 years, I am still hanging in there. Still somewhat idealist with a tendency toward bursts of paranoia and self-preservation. The hurt in my eyes is obvious to everyone who looks at me. Would I give the pain up for the "Happiness" branded "Acceptable" by society? Not on my life. So my pain spreads to you because you are wiser in many ways and already more self-protective. Don't become amongst the soul-less. You have too much of me in you to sell it all down the river. Tell them you are not for sale. You will make a difference because you already do. Everyday. To all of us who love you.
M