ka dunka-dunk-dunk.
it's so pretty outside. it's raining, and dark...windy and unfriendly to the naked eye. it's a comfortable scene to me. when the sun shines, i reach for my sun glasses and am cranky. when it's raining, i feel alive, pure, cleansed.
lately i've been so lazy. today i slept through my bio class so i never made it to the lecture. i feel down, depressed. i should feel lucky, happy to be alive and well...loved. because i am all those things. i feel dissatisfied with myself, my life. i was involved with about 4 different clubs at the beginning of the school year and i've blown all of them off. i don't even like living in my room because my roommate and i don't speak, and living with her is driving me nuts. i barely laugh with my friends anymore, i'm not sleeping correctly...and i don't miss home. so what? what could possibly be so wrong for me to feel like shit?
personally? i think it's PMS. i blew up yesterday because when i came home, my room was a mess (not anyone's fault but my own) but the thing that ticked in my head was that my roommate had flipped over my carpet so that she could roll the tv cart towards her. she flipped my carpet over. the nerve. and no matter what i did....scrubbed, dusted, made my bed twice, rearranged my closet and shoe rack...nothing was clean enough to satisfy me. i went to bed with a stuffy nose and it was hot as hell.
the icing of the cake? the smoke alarm in our room needed a new battery. and do you readers know what a smoke alarm does to inform you that it needs a new battery?
that's right...it beeps. shrill, continuous, annoying beeps. all through the night. i thought i would fling myself out the window. i need a beer.