figured it out, something anyway
so cousin c and i have been working on creating a podcast, getting together for one-hour recording sessions every couple of weeks. a few weeks ago, we had the russian on as a guest and recorded at this house. the topic was happiness, and we spent a good amount of time talking about work because you spend so much time there that what you do for a living, and where you do it, has a significant effect on one's happiness.
during the conversation, i related a story about my boss--who is usually so 'up' and enthusiastic that i think she must have been a member of her high school's spiriti squad--coming in one afternoon and stating that she was having a not-awesome day. i mentioned how unusual that was and so the guys asked if i asked her why she was having a bad day. my response: 'no because what if it was about me?' their response: jaws dropped-moment of silence.
so today i realized that's an at-home behavior that i'm carrying into the office. my mom's been dropping me off at work and this morning she barely talked to me at all. this often/usually means that she's mad at me about something, and trying to engage with her or ask questions about her mood will set me up for a load of crap being dumped on my head. so i didn't and we sat in silence for the entire trip. thus, my 'ah ha' moment. one thing i am realizing lately, or having pointed out to me, is that some of my assumptions about people's behavior and motivations need to be checked and re-checked.
in other news, my counselor is spending the summer in korea, so last week was my last session until september. yoga teacher training will probably be taking up some of the slack there since there's so much personal analysis involved in the learning. i am trying to learn to embrace it. i am realizing that even in just my asana practice, i am more resistant/less open than i used to be. i'm not sure why.
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