[backdated to June 6th - private]

[stu_isnt_god]

i know i shoudnt have left. but waht else could i do? i saved forever to get him that stupid present. i did waht he told me to do and he still got mad at me. i tryd so hard and its never good enough for him. ever.

is it my fault? is it his? i dont know. i just know im sad and now im alone. but im not saying im sorry. im not. i probably ruinned every thing but im not sorry. i love him and all he dos is yell at me and spit on me.

i will miss him and i hope he doesnt hurt himself. but i can only do so much. i can only put up with so much. if he hurts himself maybe he deservs it. he hurt me.

i dont know.

he can have his stupid synth back. i dont want it. im not going to be in his stupid band and i can play good enough on my piano. i hate him so much right now. but i love him to.

i dont know.

i just wish i couuld stop crying.