anyHOO...
damn i guess yall will never know what happened between me and kushroom. i literally spent like three days writing that entry...tryin to put every single detail in it but whatever. ill just say what happened in a nutshell...we got kool again the next day and she kissed me and then we hung out later on that night. we spent four hours in a park looking into each other's eyes....kidding...we were foggin up the windows liiiikkee!!!! it was really nice and for the first time i am proud of myself for nit having anything to regret. i would do it over and over and over again...it meant alot to me and every minute was nice because for those four hours i can honestly say that she wasnt thinking about her nitch ass ex...so thats what happened and itll be a while before i forget about that night...definitely sumthing to remember. but the as life would have it reality set it. i spoke to her last night and it was boring as usual. she was high (only once a week will we have a really nice convo) and she was not really saying anything i hate being on the phone not saying anything. i could tell her ass was sleep so i told her to go to sleep...she got mad and hung up...GET THEE! anyHOO...i go to sleep only to be woken up at 3:40 in the morning because she couldnt sleep...in my mind im like...y u aint call ur ex??? you know...basically im back to not wanting to speak to her because she blows me. my whole thing is...IF I DONT ASK U SHIT ABOUT UR PAST, DONT SAY SHIT!! i hate that. its like u know how i feel about u yet u ruin what we have by hanging on to the past. i know its hard to let go but if i talked about my past she would cut my throat cuz i wouldnt be able to shut up. the fact that she talks about her doesnt bother me; what does is knowing that they're gonna get back together. she said it...very indirectly but she said it nontheless...thats when i had to get off the phone...its like THIS IS THE REASON WHY I DIDNT WANT TO BE UR FRIEND...FRIENDS LISTEN TO EACH OTHER'S PROLBLEMS...I DONT GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT U OR HER BECAUSE IT SHOULD BE ABOUT ME AND HER...so with that in mind i have decided to let her go...i will still talk to her but i really have to let her ass go...like i said before the bad things outnumber the good...and she is way to fuckin moody...even my stripper cuzo said that and she barely knows her. anyway im done with this love bullshit...like...whatever the fuck u wanna call it...im done. the thing that hurts the most is that she can go a day without calling me...*smh* im out...BIZZoe...!