another FUCKED up weekend...
here we go...*sigh*...wher the fuck do i begin with all the bullshit thats been happenin?? well, as of right now, my phone is off and me and my mother...fuck it...ijeoma...arent on good terms. all week she has been pickin on me and trying to pick fights with me. it all started lase weekend when i asked her if i could go to the mall with my dude GUI and she said no without any type of reasoning. i swear that shit blew me because last weekend was so beautiful and anyone who stayed in the house had to be crazy to do so...i was pissed. anyway i took it with stride and just kept to myself. then yesterday i was talkin to my dude online and we decided to go the mall...my brother wanted to go too so i figured since he was goin, my mom would let me go too. so he calls and and asks her and she said he could go but she wanted ME to stay home because she wanted me to do sumthing for her. WHAT THEE FUCK RIGHT? i was like whatever im goin. its not fair. everything i do she always contradicts it. i barely go anywhere and just this once that i want to go to the mall she tells me no?? nope...so i bounce. i told my sister and she told me that i should go. im fuckin old enough to go the fuckin mall if i want! i look at other kids and staying out till GOD knows when and theyre chillin but not me. i have to sneak out of my house to chill and i can only do that ever so often. so i left, he found out, and threw my shit out the house. i get home and she is trippin...i dont even say much because there's nothing to say. i called ru and he was gonna cum and get me but i changed my mind. i wish i hadnt. shes waiting for an apology...shes just gonna have to wait a lil longer. why the fuck do i always have to apologize?? its not fuckin fair. why dont you just let me go? im so upset right now i could cry but im not gonna because i have nuthing to cry about. the only thing i am really mad about is the simple fact that my shit is cut off and i cant talk to anyone. why would u cut it off if im paying the muthafuckin bill??? how much fuckin sense does that make? it dont even matter...its just an incentive for me to realize that i cant depend on her anymore for anything?? what the fuck does she even do for me that shes not supposed to do? i give her my paycheck when i get paid and i barely eat in the house. so the only thing im doing in this house is sleeping takin a shower and being depressed. thats it. i dont know what to do right now. i just wish i could leave...its not that easy. it'll make shit worse...there goes my education...i dont want to go back to nigeria...idk. man oh man...why is shit so hard nowadays?? why cant niggas just do what they want and be happii doin it? idk know wtf im talkin about. i just talk to one of my best friends and she got into a car accident and her car got totalled! what kind of bullshit is that? damn man...at least she is okay. idk what i'd do if anything happened to her. i cant lost another friend to death. that shit isnt kosher. im still not over andrew. let me stop before i start crying. idk what to say anymore...i guess theres nothing to say. im out. bizzle