Finally, One That Makes Sense :) Version 3.14!
Good Day All,
Right, here's one of those rare things, a post from me that is not totally off-the-wall and crazy (See, I can do it, Bat ;P), no emotional outbursts of lyrics and quotes, and suchlike.
It's a bit of a heart pouring out this one, and why I've acted as I have lately.
After Sat I burnt out again (must be careful as this has happened to my old man at my age), where I just burst into tears, broke down and behaviour went a bit erratic, to say the least. Booze fuelled and the fact, of course, I tremendously look forward to these meat days made for a heavy emotional day. I became something I don't like, or wanna see again
What's on Stewie's mind...
First up, me friend Ash. (The one that hit me for no reason and then jumped off the train)
He is rapidly going downhill, his drinking is getting worse and worse and god knows what else. Hearing him like this is like putting a knife in my back and twisting it hard, each time I hear. I know he's a fool, but we used to be very close mates, go to each other's Uni's, go to all the Motor Racing tracks etc. since we were 11. Anyway spoke to Stevie me housemate about this, see latter. But I'm really stuck at what to do, it's so hard. I feel like he's calling, I'm listening to what he's up to through mates but I'm turning my back on him. humph. I can only do so much to help him
Shepster and Wardy were very helpful through this, thanks guys. The one thing I didn't say though is that I did actually did wait for him at Charing Cross afterwards, but he never turned up.
Secondly, Drugs. This is more to do with other peeps now, since "Mindscapes", months ago, I haven't used them. Although I have had no bad experiences, I do not intend to use them again.
I've seen so many peeps self-detonating due to them it's countless... In the city, and friends.
I told Parents about them last time I was back in Kent and they were horrified that I had used them (Well, actually, Dad wanted to know more, but Mum said she was "naive" and "dissapointed", rightly so)
They're everywhere. Workmates, mates, completely open use.
Sometimes, I wonder how people function, in the Square City mile peeps just make Zombies out of themselves. Ketamine, Jeezus. How can you have a good time by killing all your emotion?
3 Uni dudes wasted themselves. As we watched it happen.
My housemate smokes pot like a chimney and is his only way out. I used to enjoy a puff but not any more. It is very frustrating to see good people you know, fall.
Thirdly, The World! The rock! This globe! Carrying it on your shoulders...
Where has all this searching and investigations got me? The things I'm told through family (two currently in M.O.D) , work (Government Council), and other. It only makes me despise the world more. Amazing stuff as I've said before but it's all secretive, warmongering, $ driven, evil and downright wrong. It's said that you can "make it come to you, or all drift by you"
I was happy enough before, I'm going to take a break from exploring, for now. It can be too much for one mind. I felt like I was drowning. Who really knows or wants to know everything that goes on, or thinks. All you need is...
Finally, Love.
I feel a foo in this area lately, as I went overboard with a very cool person, who I will write a note soon. Went into Overdrive, and the last thing I would want is to be a thing that's not needed. I wouldn't want to change a friendship in this case for the world :)
In the time I thought it existed, I was walking on sunshine.
Time to settle down. I feel a bit Marooned, it's time I found love again :) Somewhere out there, in time... ^..^
Thanks for listening, yo. You're all great :) I am very lucky, sometimes I don't appreciate that enough.
And that's just the way it is
- - -
Stevie gave me his old guitar last night, and we talked about Ash a lot, which was good on both counts. Needed to talk about it.
Welcome to some new buds as well on the list :)
All my best to Darky and Rap.
Time to see Aggy at Waterloo. Thank ye Gods it's today
Right, here's one of those rare things, a post from me that is not totally off-the-wall and crazy (See, I can do it, Bat ;P), no emotional outbursts of lyrics and quotes, and suchlike.
It's a bit of a heart pouring out this one, and why I've acted as I have lately.
After Sat I burnt out again (must be careful as this has happened to my old man at my age), where I just burst into tears, broke down and behaviour went a bit erratic, to say the least. Booze fuelled and the fact, of course, I tremendously look forward to these meat days made for a heavy emotional day. I became something I don't like, or wanna see again
What's on Stewie's mind...
First up, me friend Ash. (The one that hit me for no reason and then jumped off the train)
He is rapidly going downhill, his drinking is getting worse and worse and god knows what else. Hearing him like this is like putting a knife in my back and twisting it hard, each time I hear. I know he's a fool, but we used to be very close mates, go to each other's Uni's, go to all the Motor Racing tracks etc. since we were 11. Anyway spoke to Stevie me housemate about this, see latter. But I'm really stuck at what to do, it's so hard. I feel like he's calling, I'm listening to what he's up to through mates but I'm turning my back on him. humph. I can only do so much to help him
Shepster and Wardy were very helpful through this, thanks guys. The one thing I didn't say though is that I did actually did wait for him at Charing Cross afterwards, but he never turned up.
Secondly, Drugs. This is more to do with other peeps now, since "Mindscapes", months ago, I haven't used them. Although I have had no bad experiences, I do not intend to use them again.
I've seen so many peeps self-detonating due to them it's countless... In the city, and friends.
I told Parents about them last time I was back in Kent and they were horrified that I had used them (Well, actually, Dad wanted to know more, but Mum said she was "naive" and "dissapointed", rightly so)
They're everywhere. Workmates, mates, completely open use.
Sometimes, I wonder how people function, in the Square City mile peeps just make Zombies out of themselves. Ketamine, Jeezus. How can you have a good time by killing all your emotion?
3 Uni dudes wasted themselves. As we watched it happen.
My housemate smokes pot like a chimney and is his only way out. I used to enjoy a puff but not any more. It is very frustrating to see good people you know, fall.
Thirdly, The World! The rock! This globe! Carrying it on your shoulders...
Where has all this searching and investigations got me? The things I'm told through family (two currently in M.O.D) , work (Government Council), and other. It only makes me despise the world more. Amazing stuff as I've said before but it's all secretive, warmongering, $ driven, evil and downright wrong. It's said that you can "make it come to you, or all drift by you"
I was happy enough before, I'm going to take a break from exploring, for now. It can be too much for one mind. I felt like I was drowning. Who really knows or wants to know everything that goes on, or thinks. All you need is...
Finally, Love.
I feel a foo in this area lately, as I went overboard with a very cool person, who I will write a note soon. Went into Overdrive, and the last thing I would want is to be a thing that's not needed. I wouldn't want to change a friendship in this case for the world :)
In the time I thought it existed, I was walking on sunshine.
Time to settle down. I feel a bit Marooned, it's time I found love again :) Somewhere out there, in time... ^..^
Thanks for listening, yo. You're all great :) I am very lucky, sometimes I don't appreciate that enough.
And that's just the way it is
- - -
Stevie gave me his old guitar last night, and we talked about Ash a lot, which was good on both counts. Needed to talk about it.
Welcome to some new buds as well on the list :)
All my best to Darky and Rap.
Time to see Aggy at Waterloo. Thank ye Gods it's today