the post where I show you hot guys in aprons
Wherein I Show You The Fetish That Is Hot Men In Aprons
Ladies and Gentle Folks. This simple post is being made out of sheer boredom the result of careful thought and observation of my particular interest in a certain quality in the pretty men that I choose to shed my attention upon.
Is it the freckles? Quite possibly yes, seeing as the lovely Drake Bell and the smexy Jensen Ackles both sport a wide expanse of gorgeous freckles across their faces and bodies.
Is it the scruffy facial hair that they allow to grow? Because heaven knows I love it when my men start to look all scraggly and rough. In fact, I could make another picspam based around my love for my men in facial hair.
Or is it the goofy and winning personalities that certain lovely men (*ahem* Jared Padalecki and Jerry Trainor) like to embody at almost every second of the day?
No, it is something else about my J-Boys. (And yes, I'm so totally calling them that. Because I find it extremely amusing that all my favorite man crushes sport J first names - Jared, Jensen, Josh, Jerry - even Jared "Drake" Bell can't escape it. &hearts)
What you ask?
Let us start with the most commonly known apron sporters. It's kind of hard to miss a hottie in an apron when they're wearing it for in-character purposes.
Take Josh Peck for example, and his character Josh Nichols.
Hmm, yes. Yes. Very nice, Josh. He's even sporting a toque, adding a lovely air of formality. Of course, any Drake & Josh lover would know that this is the episode where Josh proves that he is a better wife big brother/sibling/mentor than Drake - and that this scene led to an epic slap fight of slashing proportions. Oh, boys. Don't ever change.
The next man on our list is more commonly known for his role as the younger, taller, bitch-face-ier brother on a show where he often gets to take off his shirt and make audiences swoon with his fantastic bod. But before this role and before he started benching three times his weight, he was the lanky and awkward teen love interest/employee of a grocery store on a show I will never ever ever (EVER) watch.
Enter Jared Padalecki, a la Dean Forrester in Gilmore Girls.
Excuse me, sir, I cannot seem to locate the mango- holy dear mother of Mary and Joseph, you are a fine lookin' man! There's nothing I'd like to do more than yank you closer by the strings of that apron and ravish you till the sun don't shine.
*ahem* Sorry. I got a bit carried away. Anyhow, let's get a side profile, shall we?
Yes, yes, yes, yesssssss. Your legs my man, they have some apron on them. Let me help you with that. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Also, bonus points for the cowboy hat, sir.
Moving on, we have another well loved character who's simply just doing his thing. Because this is Spencer Shay we're talking about here, and Spencer Shay has no rhyme and no reason for the zany things he does - quite like Jerry Trainor has no rhyme and no reason for schmoozing with Drake and causing a big triangle of a mess between him and Josh the silly things he does in real life.
Do you see this action here? There is some definite multiple apron action going down! This man has more. than. one. He must have an equal or greater apron fetish. I can only imagine the kinky activities him and Parker and Nichols get up to while the kids are away delicious delicacies he cooks up while clothed in such an array of aprons.
You're a good man, Spencer Shay. Keep it up!
So far we've seen the effects a full length apron has upon my self. But what happens when I encounter a half length? So I shy away? Do I wrinkle my nose in revulsion?
Absolutely not! And apron is an apron, no matter how small. Besides, it's not the size that matters. It's the man underneath. You dig?
Take Mr. Priestly (from Ten Inch Hero) for example.
I mean, should I judge this man solely on the fact that he's only sporting a short length apron? A mini? Most definitively not. Because think of it this way, folks. Now when smexytime happens, there's a whole lotta chest that's uncovered. Oh yeah, just think about it. Yep. Keep thinking. Keeeeep thinking. Oh yeah. That's right. *wink wink*
But it doesn't end at just the characters! Oh no! Even the actors get into the fetish. It's an addictive quality, let me tell you.
Take Jensen Smexcles Ackles. Before he bared his chest as the mini-apron wearing Priestly, he was well versed in the ways of the full length.
It's important to have a well rounded man, like Mr. Ackles. Also, bonus points for the super awesome backwards baseball hat. I see you and your husband enjoy the headwear. Aren't they adorable, folks?
The last man on my list is indeed the ultimate winner hands down (because, did you notice? This was a contest. Mmmhmm, yep it was. The winner gets to have kinky apron sex with me whomever they want for a whole day.). Not just because of his gorgeous freckle face or his totally touchable whispy hair or his scratchy, scraggly facial hair or his all around amazing personality.
It's the oven mitts. The goddamn oven mitts. That's it. Right there. Drake effing Bell. He wins, no battle in the least, all because of the mother effing oven mitts.
Is it at all troubling that they make me really happy and flaily? I feel like I should be worried. Hmm. Oh well!
So there you have it, guys. Hot men in aprons, and why it makes them so much more smexy fine. Because you needed a reason?
Also: Bonus pic! Because I've always adored the sight of little Justin Taylor running about in his cute little apron. Not to mention, this picture is too freaking adorable to not include.
This concludes today's epic picspam post. Any questions or concerns or comments regarding the fetish of Hot Men In Aprons, please leave them here and I will try to explain them as best as I can.
It's a good thing I work tonight. These past few days have been so freaking boring. Gah.
Ladies and Gentle Folks. This simple post is being made out of sheer boredom the result of careful thought and observation of my particular interest in a certain quality in the pretty men that I choose to shed my attention upon.
Is it the freckles? Quite possibly yes, seeing as the lovely Drake Bell and the smexy Jensen Ackles both sport a wide expanse of gorgeous freckles across their faces and bodies.
Is it the scruffy facial hair that they allow to grow? Because heaven knows I love it when my men start to look all scraggly and rough. In fact, I could make another picspam based around my love for my men in facial hair.
Or is it the goofy and winning personalities that certain lovely men (*ahem* Jared Padalecki and Jerry Trainor) like to embody at almost every second of the day?
No, it is something else about my J-Boys. (And yes, I'm so totally calling them that. Because I find it extremely amusing that all my favorite man crushes sport J first names - Jared, Jensen, Josh, Jerry - even Jared "Drake" Bell can't escape it. &hearts)
What you ask?
Let us start with the most commonly known apron sporters. It's kind of hard to miss a hottie in an apron when they're wearing it for in-character purposes.
Take Josh Peck for example, and his character Josh Nichols.
Hmm, yes. Yes. Very nice, Josh. He's even sporting a toque, adding a lovely air of formality. Of course, any Drake & Josh lover would know that this is the episode where Josh proves that he is a better wife big brother/sibling/mentor than Drake - and that this scene led to an epic slap fight of slashing proportions. Oh, boys. Don't ever change.
The next man on our list is more commonly known for his role as the younger, taller, bitch-face-ier brother on a show where he often gets to take off his shirt and make audiences swoon with his fantastic bod. But before this role and before he started benching three times his weight, he was the lanky and awkward teen love interest/employee of a grocery store on a show I will never ever ever (EVER) watch.
Enter Jared Padalecki, a la Dean Forrester in Gilmore Girls.
Excuse me, sir, I cannot seem to locate the mango- holy dear mother of Mary and Joseph, you are a fine lookin' man! There's nothing I'd like to do more than yank you closer by the strings of that apron and ravish you till the sun don't shine.
*ahem* Sorry. I got a bit carried away. Anyhow, let's get a side profile, shall we?
Yes, yes, yes, yesssssss. Your legs my man, they have some apron on them. Let me help you with that. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Also, bonus points for the cowboy hat, sir.
Moving on, we have another well loved character who's simply just doing his thing. Because this is Spencer Shay we're talking about here, and Spencer Shay has no rhyme and no reason for the zany things he does - quite like Jerry Trainor has no rhyme and no reason for schmoozing with Drake and causing a big triangle of a mess between him and Josh the silly things he does in real life.
Do you see this action here? There is some definite multiple apron action going down! This man has more. than. one. He must have an equal or greater apron fetish. I can only imagine the kinky activities him and Parker and Nichols get up to while the kids are away delicious delicacies he cooks up while clothed in such an array of aprons.
You're a good man, Spencer Shay. Keep it up!
So far we've seen the effects a full length apron has upon my self. But what happens when I encounter a half length? So I shy away? Do I wrinkle my nose in revulsion?
Absolutely not! And apron is an apron, no matter how small. Besides, it's not the size that matters. It's the man underneath. You dig?
Take Mr. Priestly (from Ten Inch Hero) for example.
I mean, should I judge this man solely on the fact that he's only sporting a short length apron? A mini? Most definitively not. Because think of it this way, folks. Now when smexytime happens, there's a whole lotta chest that's uncovered. Oh yeah, just think about it. Yep. Keep thinking. Keeeeep thinking. Oh yeah. That's right. *wink wink*
But it doesn't end at just the characters! Oh no! Even the actors get into the fetish. It's an addictive quality, let me tell you.
Take Jensen Smexcles Ackles. Before he bared his chest as the mini-apron wearing Priestly, he was well versed in the ways of the full length.
It's important to have a well rounded man, like Mr. Ackles. Also, bonus points for the super awesome backwards baseball hat. I see you and your husband enjoy the headwear. Aren't they adorable, folks?
The last man on my list is indeed the ultimate winner hands down (because, did you notice? This was a contest. Mmmhmm, yep it was. The winner gets to have kinky apron sex with me whomever they want for a whole day.). Not just because of his gorgeous freckle face or his totally touchable whispy hair or his scratchy, scraggly facial hair or his all around amazing personality.
It's the oven mitts. The goddamn oven mitts. That's it. Right there. Drake effing Bell. He wins, no battle in the least, all because of the mother effing oven mitts.
Is it at all troubling that they make me really happy and flaily? I feel like I should be worried. Hmm. Oh well!
So there you have it, guys. Hot men in aprons, and why it makes them so much more smexy fine. Because you needed a reason?
Also: Bonus pic! Because I've always adored the sight of little Justin Taylor running about in his cute little apron. Not to mention, this picture is too freaking adorable to not include.
This concludes today's epic picspam post. Any questions or concerns or comments regarding the fetish of Hot Men In Aprons, please leave them here and I will try to explain them as best as I can.
It's a good thing I work tonight. These past few days have been so freaking boring. Gah.