Thank You!
So my parents just got in. We went to the Lilac Festival and Bugaboo then to the apartment. It would have been fine if it hadn't been for my father yelling at me saying I didn't know where I was (when we were at a place I'd been to once) and telling me that I can't do anything (I mentioned that I wanted to build something this summer to keep me busy, I love making things, and he began yelling that I would lose a finger and I have nothing going for me except "his fat a** and double chin"). So yeah, this summer should really be a hoot. Just being in a room with him makes me want to cry almost, just drains me completely (like a dementor!) Bah, I need to stop complaining, at least I've got my Bubs, so I'll survive I guess. He has all these dreams for me, it's so hard to tell him that they aren't what I want for myself. I just have to suck it up I guess, be an adult with him for once. I'm still his daughter, but I'm not, and never should have been, his willing fool. Please pray for both of us, we need it.
Ok, this is going to make this a long long post, but I just heard this song and it kind of describes our relationship and where I am now. I've pretty much given up on a real father/daughter relationship with him; I've discovered that I have a father in heaven who more than makes up for my lack of one. I could never call my father daddy, I don't even like calling him dad. My Daddy, however, never leaves me, builds me up, loves and encourages me. Him I call Daddy. Just having a man there does not mean you have a dad. God takes that place, a father to the fatherless, and all i can say is thank you. Thank you Lord!
~You Are Loved by Building 429~
I still remember three feet tall
Standing next to you I felt so small
I would’ve walked a million miles
Just to see you look at me and smile
Would it have been so hard
To give me just a little space
Inside your heart
Cause all I ever wanted
And all I ever needed
Was
Just to hear you say
You are loved my son
To hear you speak my name
And say well done
Well done
Staring at the sky I feel so small
Still you see me underneath it all
You tell me I have never been alone
And that you even named me as your own
You still wear the scars
From when you laid down everything
For my heart
And all that you are giving
Is all that I am needing
Just to hear you say
You are loved my son
To hear you speak my name
And say well done
Well done
You’re a father to the fatherless
A hero to the heroless
A savior for anyone who’s wanting
Who’s needing...
You’re a father to the fatherless
A hero to the heroless
A savior for anyone who’s wanting
Who’s needing...
Just to hear you say
You are loved my son
To hear you speak my name
And say well done
Well done
Ok, this is going to make this a long long post, but I just heard this song and it kind of describes our relationship and where I am now. I've pretty much given up on a real father/daughter relationship with him; I've discovered that I have a father in heaven who more than makes up for my lack of one. I could never call my father daddy, I don't even like calling him dad. My Daddy, however, never leaves me, builds me up, loves and encourages me. Him I call Daddy. Just having a man there does not mean you have a dad. God takes that place, a father to the fatherless, and all i can say is thank you. Thank you Lord!
~You Are Loved by Building 429~
I still remember three feet tall
Standing next to you I felt so small
I would’ve walked a million miles
Just to see you look at me and smile
Would it have been so hard
To give me just a little space
Inside your heart
Cause all I ever wanted
And all I ever needed
Was
Just to hear you say
You are loved my son
To hear you speak my name
And say well done
Well done
Staring at the sky I feel so small
Still you see me underneath it all
You tell me I have never been alone
And that you even named me as your own
You still wear the scars
From when you laid down everything
For my heart
And all that you are giving
Is all that I am needing
Just to hear you say
You are loved my son
To hear you speak my name
And say well done
Well done
You’re a father to the fatherless
A hero to the heroless
A savior for anyone who’s wanting
Who’s needing...
You’re a father to the fatherless
A hero to the heroless
A savior for anyone who’s wanting
Who’s needing...
Just to hear you say
You are loved my son
To hear you speak my name
And say well done
Well done