hmmm
i know its been an eternity since i wrote in this and a ton of stuff has happened dont feel any obligation to read this its mostly so i can remember it anyways well its nearly christmas and im having an ok time in life i guess im pushing on anyways whether on not i can do it i dont know alot of really hard things have come around. For one daniel benson came back from the states and now the guys around me are once again tormenting me, im actually rather afraid of him he really hurts me especially since we used to be kinda close friends. For another im not doing all that well in my classes im getting discouraged but i cant give up i just have to work hard, i managed to pass them all on my progress report so im a little encouraged. One of my best friends here named lindsay had her friend in america die and so im trying to devote most of my extra time energy to comforting and pampering her. She has always been there for me and if theres any way i can have her be in less pain ill try...i just dont really dontknow what else i can do ive brought her flowers and taken to eat one of her fav foods and given her a special gold charm and a chain with a little gaurdian angel on it to cheer her up but i cant be around her all the time... oh well i think she knows im trying really hard. On a good note i was able to hang out with matias one on one at his place at his invitation and we have been good friends ever since. The coiolest part is probably that we encourage each other and comfort each other and pray for each other. Ever since we started being prayer partners things have gotten alot better for me and its comforting to know someones praying for me. I had another wonderful happen to me, God spoke to me... i know this may sound weird to those of u who dont believe in him but its true i was praying and asking him if it was ok that i like Jason because i didnt know if it was best for me or him and suddenly i heard God speak to me He basically told me this : Beth, its fine to like jason you are worrying so much everyday but u dont need to i am taking take of and watching over you and remember i have a plan for you and its a wonderful future i have for you. I felt peace like i havent felt in a long time. And ever since i gave my worries to God i have had less stress and worry and more surprising, things have been going better, i know that if I should be with Jason i will and if that isnt whats best for me i wont and not only that but God will be with me watching over me whether or not im with him. On a different note i got the mai part in our little christmas program drama now dont laugh or make fun the reason i got this part is because it is the most extreme and needs alot of acting ... im satan i know u are gonna make fun and stuff like you always do but please be kind to me if possible. OH guess what?! i recieved in the mail something so awesome and exciting its amazing. I actually got noticed by carrol college my first choice! they sent me a list of their scholarships one day and i was like cool cause they said i did well on the ACTS and i was surprised cause i havent seen my scores yet but i fell asleep during it so i wasnt that optimistic:P then yesterday i recieved a pamphlet and application in the mail. im super excited!yay my life is going in a good direction and i didnt even have to worry or stress out!!! yeah well on a sad note i think jason might end up liking someone in the future, and im usually right abt these things. but i know i will do as i know is right and work with him for his happiness... even i guess if it doesnt involve me... thats the sacrifice i make for those i love i guess... ill stay strong and unoticed by his side for me thats true love and my love for people runs deep it cant be swept away by this type of little thing im gonna go now so byby