(no subject)
well last night was the party everything for getting ready was going ok until i went to get my hair done it took too long then there were no cabs and then the cab took me the wrong way and i was totally late i was so embarassed then i helped out but it was tiring stuff and jason didnt hardly notice me after wards i went to sit between jase and lindz one of my bff he got up and left i dont think he meant to hurt my feelings bu the did i almost started to cry and then i didnt understand something matias said to me and he got mad at me it was sad it made me feel worthless and i walke dwith the group back to chun yuan where everyone lives and i felt lonely and out of place caus eno one else was dressed up and jase ended up splititng from the group and i was worried he wouldnt be able to find us. Later he found us and we were all hanging out and i was freezing caus ei had no jacket and since jase had his coat off cause he was bmxing tan suggested i wear it and i was embarassed cause i wanted jase to be the one i didnt want to make him feel obligated and i aked if i could cause i was soo cold and he said yes so i wrapped it around me and i felt warmer eventually i went down by his house cause we were all leaving and i wanted to pick up my motorcycle from his garage and he didnt ask for it back but my feet hurt and i didnt end up being able to get it cause my blike was locked in a garage and i couldnt get in so i had to walk home alone and i was scared cause the way guys looked at me was scary just cause of my pretty dress. I ggot home ok though and i was happy for jaons jacket i still have it here with me. it smells like him ... like the axe and stuff he wears go figure i find smells so important and i can imagine a place by its smell like my uncles house smells like a scrunchy i once got and whenever i smelled it it reminded my of my uncle anyways today i woke up and i got ready and stuff and i made a new costume up im going to be a dancer i hope i look ok well as best as i can being me... oh today jase complimented me on my dress last night it made me happy. i practiced my indian dance for international day but i am not ready yet. I will be dancing alone in front of 100's of people i feel maybe i cant do it.. what if i mess up and they make fun of me :( i would be so hurt but it cant be helped my "teacher" says im gifted and that i dance wonderfully i think maybe she is jus tbeing polite i dont want to embarass and disappoint her. I have to finish getting ready for this evening ill talk to yall later.