(no subject)
After being away for 3 months.. I'm really not sure I'm ready to be around "friends" again.
I'm not saying that I have no friends, nor that the friends I do have are bad.. I'm just not ready to deal with the fact that everyone has changed, and some people who I used to love, now drive me insane.
I have a new life. One I never thought I'd have. Nothing but work. I love it there. People respect me, are mature (for the most part) and they genuinely care about me. Hell Jeanette told me on friday, she doesn't know how she would be able to do it without me. Even though I know she could, and she has before, it still felt great just to hear someone finally act like they need me. I forgot how good it felt to feel needed.
In middle school I had all my druggy friends that would come to me to help them stop. They came to me because they knew no matter what I'd be there for them and help them out. Over the past 4 years I've had my parents, my dad with his heart attack, and mom with her neck problems, not to mention Color Guard. I always felt needed.
I realized tonight that I've spent the whole weekend with just my family, mainly my parents. I'm not complaining.. I was supposed to hang out with Kaiti but I forgot to call her (sorry about that btw.. soon girly, you- i DO want to see). But I've spent the whole time with my parents, only on my computer at night, and it's been great. Hell i spend almost ALL of my time with at least one parent. And it's getting harder and harder to convince myself to leave them try to hangout with other people. Hell all weekend I don't think I even thought about anyone else.
I'm not trying to pick on anyone btw, I just really needed to get this all out since I can't sleep and have work in 5 hours.
I'm not saying that I have no friends, nor that the friends I do have are bad.. I'm just not ready to deal with the fact that everyone has changed, and some people who I used to love, now drive me insane.
I have a new life. One I never thought I'd have. Nothing but work. I love it there. People respect me, are mature (for the most part) and they genuinely care about me. Hell Jeanette told me on friday, she doesn't know how she would be able to do it without me. Even though I know she could, and she has before, it still felt great just to hear someone finally act like they need me. I forgot how good it felt to feel needed.
In middle school I had all my druggy friends that would come to me to help them stop. They came to me because they knew no matter what I'd be there for them and help them out. Over the past 4 years I've had my parents, my dad with his heart attack, and mom with her neck problems, not to mention Color Guard. I always felt needed.
I realized tonight that I've spent the whole weekend with just my family, mainly my parents. I'm not complaining.. I was supposed to hang out with Kaiti but I forgot to call her (sorry about that btw.. soon girly, you- i DO want to see). But I've spent the whole time with my parents, only on my computer at night, and it's been great. Hell i spend almost ALL of my time with at least one parent. And it's getting harder and harder to convince myself to leave them try to hangout with other people. Hell all weekend I don't think I even thought about anyone else.
I'm not trying to pick on anyone btw, I just really needed to get this all out since I can't sleep and have work in 5 hours.