Really hittin a brick wall
There is no easy way to put this, so I'll just call it as I see it. My son hates me. There is no relationship there right now. He hardly has a kind word for me or his siblings anymore. He goes to school without a fight but the moment he's home, everything gets thrown all over the floor. He's quick to do his homework for now since he very nearly failed the last marking period, but never puts it into his backpack. Right after he's done, he insists on going to his cousin, Kaine's house. If I dare to think about saying, "No.", he throws a fit. The yelling, slamming of things, ill-treatment of his 2 and 4 y/o brother and sister, the mumbling under his breath to me, and crying. I don't give in anymore, but I feel like the wicked witch of the south-end.
Friday the 4th, was his 11th birthday. He was given MC D's, and was allowed to pick out a reasonably priced game from the store we chose for grocery-shopping night. The next day, we got pizza, ate outside in the brand new warmth of the year and had cake n ice cream. Wait! There's more! He got bored with us, which I can understand since he is an 11-year old boy after all... He grumbled and complained that his birthday wasn't enough (it never is). Sunday, Chris had planned to take him to a hockey game until my sister, Jeri called and invited us over for a first of the year BBQ. We left the decision up to Robby and he chose Jeri's. Naturally, Chris was disappointed but let Robby do what he wanted since it was for his birthday. Now, remember he just had two days of basically partying before this. Then he wants to have our nephew, Joey, spend the night at our house. We allow it and head for home. Do you think his attitude would change since he's already gotten this much? The next day is Monday and how exciting to know that my sister in law, Autumn (13 years) will be arriving around lunch time. (long story but probs at home, so she's our prob now???) But that's really not too bad since I'm still getting over the flu anyway, and hopefully it will be a help to me. So, remembering that mom isn't feeling well and didn't get a lot of sleep the night before, he wakes her with his demands for the day. They now want Kaine to come over and for Joey to be allowed to spend the night again. I say, "No.", it's just been too much on me already. And I'm looking forward to having things return to normal. Now Joey's sisters were slighted because they didn't come over, so I tell Jeri that I can watch them instead of having her take them to day care for the day. OM!!! Too much!!!! In my home, a teeny tiny trail---errrr.....uh mobile home....(don't dare call it a trailer, they will yell at you) But the point is my home is itty. and I have 7 kids running all over it. 13, 11, 9, 8, 6, 4, and 2. Then of course, Gabby and Kaine come over....add two more to the mix. Who will notice anyway? I've already lost my mind at this point.
Well, on to the part where all the kids (except Autumn, she's here all week) go home. After an argument on why Robby can't go here or have Joey over again, I finally have only the 4 (mine + Chris's sister, Autumn) and I can finally attempt to get some things done around the house. Until my brother in law sends Kaine over to see if Robby and Autumn can spend the night over with Gabby and Kaine. I jump at this for the break although I know the repercussions of my fatal mistake. So, we get a break then the next day I wait for them to come home. Noon hits and in walks the kids. I say "OK, now it's time to get some chores done." But they are only taking a break until Jim comes back because they haven't had lunch yet and are planning a kick-ball game. I agree to this and off they all go again. Until 4. This time, I tell Robby that he's done now and it's time to start chores. ....HE BURSTS INTO TEARS!!!!! They haven't played kick-ball yet. How dare I assume that he should have to be done now. I'm furious and after a few choice words, and resisting the urge to smack him to the floor, I say "FK it. Go." Yes, I really said that. I'm ashamed of myself but so tired of it all. So Chris comes home around 6 and off we go to the store since I'm out of laundry soap n stuff. I have already been cornered by Gabby who insists that her dad wants her to spend the night at my house. I will call him later when I'm more calmed down.
We come home. Robby is actually doing his chores which is a huge shock. But now Jeri shows up with a proposition. She will have Sarah and Logan spend the night at her house in trade for Joey staying at mine. Well, I think Logan being 2 doesn't really need to go, so we keep him home. And as far as Robby's behavior goes, he deserves squat, but not wanting to hurt Joey and Sarah by Robby's disobedience, we agree to the swap. So off Sarah goes and I assume has a great time. Now, I have Joey who is sitting bored on the couch because Robby still has to finish his chores which I should mention are still NOT *$#@!*&%$#@! finished. Gabby did wind up staying the night here with Autumn and once again, it is the next day and I have 6 kids in my house. And that is only until Kaine and Dillon decide to head over. Then Jeri gets off work in a few hours, and will be collecting her kids from day care and heading over here.......I know someone's going to ask for overnightin again, but NO!!! OMG NO!!!! I CAN'T BLOODY HANDLE ANY MORE!!!!
Robby is still treating me like I don't matter. He wants the ongoing party and throws a fit when I ask him to do something...I am so burnt.
Can Friday ever really come? I am going out for my own birthday. I'll turn 32 on Friday. You know where I will be? Nope. Not the bar, although....NO JK! I will be at a hotel here in PoHo for an outreach party that my friends created. It's called Party W/O a Pocketbook. It's really a way (the least expensive way possible) for us to all get together, play games, like bingo, have snacks and a short devotional. I'm going to cry just thinking about how much I can't wait for it. This one will be at the hotel so we'll be able to swim and hottub :D Others are at various homes in the group. The snacks are never extreme and the idea is that we have parties where someone isn't coming to sell stuff to you all the time. Those "parties" are always happening and we go simply so we can all hang out, but no one can ever afford to go because no one can ever buy stuff. PWAP has become an every few months thing that we all just plan on and with so much time between each one, it's easy enough (usually) to get sitters or w/e to go.
Now...what can go wrong between now and then? Who will get sick or have a family crisis that we have to deal with? How much grief will Robby put me and Chris through that I will get so burnt and not have the energy to go? Will I even get my laundry done? I am feeling so burnt. All the more reason to go, but always the reason I don't.
BTW, Aimes, this is what I meant...Since I dropped school, I feel like life has no purpose for me. No real reason to do anything but have the clean house and slap the smile on my face for the kids. Appearances may show that we are a very happy family, but looking inside me, will show something else. Sarah is starting to become just as ungrateful as her older brother. Logan thankfully, will dance just because my cell phone goes off. He's always been the smiling and happy guy. Will that change too? How many days have I been ready to just collapse and cry when Logan would say something so cute and sweet and have that huge wonderful grin on his face..."Wut wong Mommy? I uv eeyooo." I just fall to pieces and life has meaning again....sigh...I think I've stopped making sense. Guess it's a good time to end this post. LOL.
Friday the 4th, was his 11th birthday. He was given MC D's, and was allowed to pick out a reasonably priced game from the store we chose for grocery-shopping night. The next day, we got pizza, ate outside in the brand new warmth of the year and had cake n ice cream. Wait! There's more! He got bored with us, which I can understand since he is an 11-year old boy after all... He grumbled and complained that his birthday wasn't enough (it never is). Sunday, Chris had planned to take him to a hockey game until my sister, Jeri called and invited us over for a first of the year BBQ. We left the decision up to Robby and he chose Jeri's. Naturally, Chris was disappointed but let Robby do what he wanted since it was for his birthday. Now, remember he just had two days of basically partying before this. Then he wants to have our nephew, Joey, spend the night at our house. We allow it and head for home. Do you think his attitude would change since he's already gotten this much? The next day is Monday and how exciting to know that my sister in law, Autumn (13 years) will be arriving around lunch time. (long story but probs at home, so she's our prob now???) But that's really not too bad since I'm still getting over the flu anyway, and hopefully it will be a help to me. So, remembering that mom isn't feeling well and didn't get a lot of sleep the night before, he wakes her with his demands for the day. They now want Kaine to come over and for Joey to be allowed to spend the night again. I say, "No.", it's just been too much on me already. And I'm looking forward to having things return to normal. Now Joey's sisters were slighted because they didn't come over, so I tell Jeri that I can watch them instead of having her take them to day care for the day. OM!!! Too much!!!! In my home, a teeny tiny trail---errrr.....uh mobile home....(don't dare call it a trailer, they will yell at you) But the point is my home is itty. and I have 7 kids running all over it. 13, 11, 9, 8, 6, 4, and 2. Then of course, Gabby and Kaine come over....add two more to the mix. Who will notice anyway? I've already lost my mind at this point.
Well, on to the part where all the kids (except Autumn, she's here all week) go home. After an argument on why Robby can't go here or have Joey over again, I finally have only the 4 (mine + Chris's sister, Autumn) and I can finally attempt to get some things done around the house. Until my brother in law sends Kaine over to see if Robby and Autumn can spend the night over with Gabby and Kaine. I jump at this for the break although I know the repercussions of my fatal mistake. So, we get a break then the next day I wait for them to come home. Noon hits and in walks the kids. I say "OK, now it's time to get some chores done." But they are only taking a break until Jim comes back because they haven't had lunch yet and are planning a kick-ball game. I agree to this and off they all go again. Until 4. This time, I tell Robby that he's done now and it's time to start chores. ....HE BURSTS INTO TEARS!!!!! They haven't played kick-ball yet. How dare I assume that he should have to be done now. I'm furious and after a few choice words, and resisting the urge to smack him to the floor, I say "FK it. Go." Yes, I really said that. I'm ashamed of myself but so tired of it all. So Chris comes home around 6 and off we go to the store since I'm out of laundry soap n stuff. I have already been cornered by Gabby who insists that her dad wants her to spend the night at my house. I will call him later when I'm more calmed down.
We come home. Robby is actually doing his chores which is a huge shock. But now Jeri shows up with a proposition. She will have Sarah and Logan spend the night at her house in trade for Joey staying at mine. Well, I think Logan being 2 doesn't really need to go, so we keep him home. And as far as Robby's behavior goes, he deserves squat, but not wanting to hurt Joey and Sarah by Robby's disobedience, we agree to the swap. So off Sarah goes and I assume has a great time. Now, I have Joey who is sitting bored on the couch because Robby still has to finish his chores which I should mention are still NOT *$#@!*&%$#@! finished. Gabby did wind up staying the night here with Autumn and once again, it is the next day and I have 6 kids in my house. And that is only until Kaine and Dillon decide to head over. Then Jeri gets off work in a few hours, and will be collecting her kids from day care and heading over here.......I know someone's going to ask for overnightin again, but NO!!! OMG NO!!!! I CAN'T BLOODY HANDLE ANY MORE!!!!
Robby is still treating me like I don't matter. He wants the ongoing party and throws a fit when I ask him to do something...I am so burnt.
Can Friday ever really come? I am going out for my own birthday. I'll turn 32 on Friday. You know where I will be? Nope. Not the bar, although....NO JK! I will be at a hotel here in PoHo for an outreach party that my friends created. It's called Party W/O a Pocketbook. It's really a way (the least expensive way possible) for us to all get together, play games, like bingo, have snacks and a short devotional. I'm going to cry just thinking about how much I can't wait for it. This one will be at the hotel so we'll be able to swim and hottub :D Others are at various homes in the group. The snacks are never extreme and the idea is that we have parties where someone isn't coming to sell stuff to you all the time. Those "parties" are always happening and we go simply so we can all hang out, but no one can ever afford to go because no one can ever buy stuff. PWAP has become an every few months thing that we all just plan on and with so much time between each one, it's easy enough (usually) to get sitters or w/e to go.
Now...what can go wrong between now and then? Who will get sick or have a family crisis that we have to deal with? How much grief will Robby put me and Chris through that I will get so burnt and not have the energy to go? Will I even get my laundry done? I am feeling so burnt. All the more reason to go, but always the reason I don't.
BTW, Aimes, this is what I meant...Since I dropped school, I feel like life has no purpose for me. No real reason to do anything but have the clean house and slap the smile on my face for the kids. Appearances may show that we are a very happy family, but looking inside me, will show something else. Sarah is starting to become just as ungrateful as her older brother. Logan thankfully, will dance just because my cell phone goes off. He's always been the smiling and happy guy. Will that change too? How many days have I been ready to just collapse and cry when Logan would say something so cute and sweet and have that huge wonderful grin on his face..."Wut wong Mommy? I uv eeyooo." I just fall to pieces and life has meaning again....sigh...I think I've stopped making sense. Guess it's a good time to end this post. LOL.