October 2022 ramblings
10/4
I had another good talk with Stu as we discussed Creature. It's so nice to talk to someone who gets it. I'm not sure how much he's gotten into 9/11 and how this extends into it; I mentioned the Zeitgeist films and he says he'd heard of them, so we'll see in our next meeting as I intend to dive into it more as it plays into Part 3. I had just finished Part 3 on Sunday, but this time I'm going to stop reading after Part 4 until after our next meeting the first Monday of November. I've ordered a book called Anarchy in Action and after than I think I will get into No More Manifestos.
I got it in me to start on a book with working title "To: Human", which is an attempt to described what is real plainly and provide a master key for why living vegan, anarchic, and self-reliant is the only logical thing to do. What is good, what is bad/evil. It is not a matter of belief.
10/7
I finished Part 4 this morning; I found it a riveting read through the early history of the U.S. and all the missing pieces not provided by school history classes. As I told Stuart in an email this morning, it reminds me why I always disliked history in school, which is we were essentially taught myths and stories and to memorize dates and locations with little applicability to our current reality. I find myself getting addicted to reading, and I kind of like it--better than being addicted to watching youtube videos. As long as I have books I am interested in reading, I am eager to read them. The anarchy book I bought should get here tomorrow. I probably won't be journaling as much these days so that I can focus on writing To: Human or whatever it inevitably ends up being, and I need to rev up my garden planning and finish getting my garlic and onion starts in the ground, along with being behind on seeding.
10/10
Work is slow today. Only three searches so far and all easy-peasy. Thus, journal. Anarchy in Action arrived Saturday, and I've been digging into it. It's only appr. 130 pages but denser in writing than Creature, and the author is British and so uses S's where I would expect Z's and is clearly well read on his subject; it was also originally written in the early 1970s. It weaves theory with real-world examples of anarchic communities; great stuff. I'm three chapters in after a beefy preface. What interests me is how anarchic behavior is essential the default until a threat to the community as a whole is perceived, in with case authoritarian rule tends to manifest under the notion of self-preservation, only for it to grow roots of its own and attempt to legitimize after the real threat has passed, even to the mount of manufacturing its own.
I'm always thinking about how I could make a difference. This morning it's the idea of bringing back zines, creating a sense of community locally which might hopefully spread. E-newsletters are fine, and might be part of the strategy for people who wish to subscribe, but there is an impact of having hard copies floating around that may accidentally float through the window of someone's attention who didn't know they were looking for it.
10/11
Today is not starting off well. I did quite a lot of reading yesterday so I thought I would give myself the day off so as to work on gardening tasks, but, nope, got caught on social media and couldn't stop. I did tear myself away enough to do some sprints, and got work done, but it just feels like I gave up. I'm not going to get anywhere if I keep doing it. I'm looking for something there that I'm not going to find. It's like I'm waiting for the world to fall apart and I don't want it to get the jump on me, but what I have to realize is, either way it will have the jump on me, and I need to control what I can control, which ain't much. It disturbs me profoundly to hear someone state that they can play God to someone else. How do we get so lost?
10/13
It's that time of year when I watch disturbing movies/videos. Yesterday was watching too many videos about dark youtube channels and videos and the corresponding back stories, about a kid in a neglectful home getting himself stuck in a chimney of a vacant neighbor's house and dying, Russian pop singer disappearing in Chechnya who is thought of to have been lost in the homosexual purging happening there 5-ish years ago (still happening?) with a video posted a month of him pretending to be OK and in Germany but it appears to have been scripted and he was never seen again, and journalists in Mexico, and China during co-vid breakout, disappearing or getting killed for getting a little too close to the truth, smoking fetishes.
I got some of the latest woodchip load moved yesterday. I think I need to move the residual chips from last year that are well composted and put them on some of the annual beds.
10/17
On the day of my last entry I did a good job staying away from social media, but on the 14th Beth was away for the night a work trip and I binged hard on disturbing videos and stayed up to midnight. Now the idea of getting on social media makes me feel a little sick. I hope that lasts, because I think it's what I need.
I've got the rest of the orchard mulched. I should be good on woodchips until November when I start dressing the perennial beds. Next is finalizing plans for plants and getting a seed order list together. Tomorrow is looking very busy with house cleaning, exercise, tacos, parent-teacher conference, and soccer pictures and practices. My plan is to dive in hard starting Wednesday for the remainder of the week. After that, it will be mapping out the orchard area, visiting SiteOne and making a final decision on border edging material, and obtaining the posts and wire for the main infrastructure of the orchard as well as the edging material so I can start installing that--it would probably be best if I started doing that before dressing the beds with more mulch, but I don't want to wait too long on the mulch either because I would like that breaking down over winter so that it's starting to feed the soil when temperatures heat back up. I'll also want to order seeds by the end of November.
10/25
I guess this is turning into a gardening journal, mixed with a little social-media addiction. As to the latter, the sickening feeling didn't last, or at least is not as potent, but I do feel it's a little more under control.
While I didn't get my garden plan mapped out last week, I have knocked out most of it the last couple days, and also ordered all the evergreen trees I'm wanting to put in the yard: 6 yaupon holly dwarfs spaced rather evenly along the Nielon border, between the fruit trees though off-centered to push them up against the garden edge--these will provide a structural element for the eyes to rest on amid the other deciduous chaos; 2 "gold top" yaupon hollies to replace the 3 remaining nonnative hollies in front of the garage windows--they are also female, hopefully to be pollinated by the dwarfs, which are all male; 4 Viburnum "Miss Schilling's Delight" to replace the boring boxwoods--these will provide a showy display (I forget when they bloom) of white flowers; and an Ilex opaca cultivar to go in front of the northeast fence corner to give additional privacy hedging for the back porch--although it will be a few years before it gets big enough. In all $300.
Fortunately I won't be buying many other plants this year; I will need another peach tree (possibly around $50 after shipping) and blueberry bush ($20). Then there is seeds (probably at least another $100, probably more since I will need seed potatoes in the February since we ate all the ones we harvested, although there are some plants growing right now because I apparently I missed some) and garden edging which could get up to $200. Shit, there is also all the t-posts I need for the orchard and the 20' rectangular sun-garden bed: going to need a post driver ($30), 6' posts x 6 ($6.19 each), 7' posts x 9+16(25 total, $7.99 each), 8' posts x 6 ($8.99 each) (less the posts I already have, 4 7' posts I think), a pack of at least 10 8' bamboo, probably some more wire and maybe fishing line, hopefully I have enough netting. Probably another $300 for nonplant supplies. That's $700 left to spend, and I will have spent almost a grand in the yard this offseason after all is said and done; well, that will be most of my Christmas. Fortunately the bulk of it is one-time expenditures, with really only a portion of the seeds being something I will need to buy again in the future. Of course, if we start expanding beds in other parts of the yard, more plants will likely be needed, but any large projects will have to wait until I've gotten full-time status back, or another crypto bull run.
I feel like I completed enough of the plan this morning to finalize my seed order list. I'm going to work on making a list tonight while soccer practice is going on. Today work is slow, so I'm going to get a run in while I have the time. I need to get a new handle for the downstairs toilet and may get some more durable wire and bamboo poles while at Lowe's (fortunately I still have gift cards to use!) Map out the orchard, get more chips and mulch all the perennial beds first thing in November, order seeds, obtain t-posts and start building deer-deterrent infrastructure, visit SiteOne to make final decision on garden edge, purchase, and start installing, move the two surviving hydrangeas, ninebark, and sweet pepperbush once dormant to the orchard area where they will be protected come spring, relocate fothergilla, remove apple trees and clean up area, remove nonnative hollies and boxwoods and install evergreens whenever they arrive.
10/26
Going to be spending some money on the Elantra, about $400; getting it caught up on recommended services. They also recommended new tires but they wouldn't be able to replace them until tomorrow and frankly I don't want to have to spend the money on them right now and figure they will hold up until spring when it's due for an inspection. So they are patching the leaky tire (driver rear) for me. Soon it will be the van's turn as oil life is at 20%.
I got an email that the dwarf yaupons have been packed and sent out for delivery, so I should be able to get those in the ground next week. I did get a seed order list made last night, now I just need to estimate how many plants I will need to make sure there are enough seeds in a single packet (lest I have to order multiple ones), compare with what seeds I already have, and go ahead and order (at least for now the ones that cold stratification--annuals I can put off until winter unless I get really itchy to get stuff growing in winter). Work is slow so think I will take what extra time I have to start mapping out the orchard and flagging location for yaupons and clean up around the border apple tree (to be removed).
I had another good talk with Stu as we discussed Creature. It's so nice to talk to someone who gets it. I'm not sure how much he's gotten into 9/11 and how this extends into it; I mentioned the Zeitgeist films and he says he'd heard of them, so we'll see in our next meeting as I intend to dive into it more as it plays into Part 3. I had just finished Part 3 on Sunday, but this time I'm going to stop reading after Part 4 until after our next meeting the first Monday of November. I've ordered a book called Anarchy in Action and after than I think I will get into No More Manifestos.
I got it in me to start on a book with working title "To: Human", which is an attempt to described what is real plainly and provide a master key for why living vegan, anarchic, and self-reliant is the only logical thing to do. What is good, what is bad/evil. It is not a matter of belief.
10/7
I finished Part 4 this morning; I found it a riveting read through the early history of the U.S. and all the missing pieces not provided by school history classes. As I told Stuart in an email this morning, it reminds me why I always disliked history in school, which is we were essentially taught myths and stories and to memorize dates and locations with little applicability to our current reality. I find myself getting addicted to reading, and I kind of like it--better than being addicted to watching youtube videos. As long as I have books I am interested in reading, I am eager to read them. The anarchy book I bought should get here tomorrow. I probably won't be journaling as much these days so that I can focus on writing To: Human or whatever it inevitably ends up being, and I need to rev up my garden planning and finish getting my garlic and onion starts in the ground, along with being behind on seeding.
10/10
Work is slow today. Only three searches so far and all easy-peasy. Thus, journal. Anarchy in Action arrived Saturday, and I've been digging into it. It's only appr. 130 pages but denser in writing than Creature, and the author is British and so uses S's where I would expect Z's and is clearly well read on his subject; it was also originally written in the early 1970s. It weaves theory with real-world examples of anarchic communities; great stuff. I'm three chapters in after a beefy preface. What interests me is how anarchic behavior is essential the default until a threat to the community as a whole is perceived, in with case authoritarian rule tends to manifest under the notion of self-preservation, only for it to grow roots of its own and attempt to legitimize after the real threat has passed, even to the mount of manufacturing its own.
I'm always thinking about how I could make a difference. This morning it's the idea of bringing back zines, creating a sense of community locally which might hopefully spread. E-newsletters are fine, and might be part of the strategy for people who wish to subscribe, but there is an impact of having hard copies floating around that may accidentally float through the window of someone's attention who didn't know they were looking for it.
10/11
Today is not starting off well. I did quite a lot of reading yesterday so I thought I would give myself the day off so as to work on gardening tasks, but, nope, got caught on social media and couldn't stop. I did tear myself away enough to do some sprints, and got work done, but it just feels like I gave up. I'm not going to get anywhere if I keep doing it. I'm looking for something there that I'm not going to find. It's like I'm waiting for the world to fall apart and I don't want it to get the jump on me, but what I have to realize is, either way it will have the jump on me, and I need to control what I can control, which ain't much. It disturbs me profoundly to hear someone state that they can play God to someone else. How do we get so lost?
10/13
It's that time of year when I watch disturbing movies/videos. Yesterday was watching too many videos about dark youtube channels and videos and the corresponding back stories, about a kid in a neglectful home getting himself stuck in a chimney of a vacant neighbor's house and dying, Russian pop singer disappearing in Chechnya who is thought of to have been lost in the homosexual purging happening there 5-ish years ago (still happening?) with a video posted a month of him pretending to be OK and in Germany but it appears to have been scripted and he was never seen again, and journalists in Mexico, and China during co-vid breakout, disappearing or getting killed for getting a little too close to the truth, smoking fetishes.
I got some of the latest woodchip load moved yesterday. I think I need to move the residual chips from last year that are well composted and put them on some of the annual beds.
10/17
On the day of my last entry I did a good job staying away from social media, but on the 14th Beth was away for the night a work trip and I binged hard on disturbing videos and stayed up to midnight. Now the idea of getting on social media makes me feel a little sick. I hope that lasts, because I think it's what I need.
I've got the rest of the orchard mulched. I should be good on woodchips until November when I start dressing the perennial beds. Next is finalizing plans for plants and getting a seed order list together. Tomorrow is looking very busy with house cleaning, exercise, tacos, parent-teacher conference, and soccer pictures and practices. My plan is to dive in hard starting Wednesday for the remainder of the week. After that, it will be mapping out the orchard area, visiting SiteOne and making a final decision on border edging material, and obtaining the posts and wire for the main infrastructure of the orchard as well as the edging material so I can start installing that--it would probably be best if I started doing that before dressing the beds with more mulch, but I don't want to wait too long on the mulch either because I would like that breaking down over winter so that it's starting to feed the soil when temperatures heat back up. I'll also want to order seeds by the end of November.
10/25
I guess this is turning into a gardening journal, mixed with a little social-media addiction. As to the latter, the sickening feeling didn't last, or at least is not as potent, but I do feel it's a little more under control.
While I didn't get my garden plan mapped out last week, I have knocked out most of it the last couple days, and also ordered all the evergreen trees I'm wanting to put in the yard: 6 yaupon holly dwarfs spaced rather evenly along the Nielon border, between the fruit trees though off-centered to push them up against the garden edge--these will provide a structural element for the eyes to rest on amid the other deciduous chaos; 2 "gold top" yaupon hollies to replace the 3 remaining nonnative hollies in front of the garage windows--they are also female, hopefully to be pollinated by the dwarfs, which are all male; 4 Viburnum "Miss Schilling's Delight" to replace the boring boxwoods--these will provide a showy display (I forget when they bloom) of white flowers; and an Ilex opaca cultivar to go in front of the northeast fence corner to give additional privacy hedging for the back porch--although it will be a few years before it gets big enough. In all $300.
Fortunately I won't be buying many other plants this year; I will need another peach tree (possibly around $50 after shipping) and blueberry bush ($20). Then there is seeds (probably at least another $100, probably more since I will need seed potatoes in the February since we ate all the ones we harvested, although there are some plants growing right now because I apparently I missed some) and garden edging which could get up to $200. Shit, there is also all the t-posts I need for the orchard and the 20' rectangular sun-garden bed: going to need a post driver ($30), 6' posts x 6 ($6.19 each), 7' posts x 9+16(25 total, $7.99 each), 8' posts x 6 ($8.99 each) (less the posts I already have, 4 7' posts I think), a pack of at least 10 8' bamboo, probably some more wire and maybe fishing line, hopefully I have enough netting. Probably another $300 for nonplant supplies. That's $700 left to spend, and I will have spent almost a grand in the yard this offseason after all is said and done; well, that will be most of my Christmas. Fortunately the bulk of it is one-time expenditures, with really only a portion of the seeds being something I will need to buy again in the future. Of course, if we start expanding beds in other parts of the yard, more plants will likely be needed, but any large projects will have to wait until I've gotten full-time status back, or another crypto bull run.
I feel like I completed enough of the plan this morning to finalize my seed order list. I'm going to work on making a list tonight while soccer practice is going on. Today work is slow, so I'm going to get a run in while I have the time. I need to get a new handle for the downstairs toilet and may get some more durable wire and bamboo poles while at Lowe's (fortunately I still have gift cards to use!) Map out the orchard, get more chips and mulch all the perennial beds first thing in November, order seeds, obtain t-posts and start building deer-deterrent infrastructure, visit SiteOne to make final decision on garden edge, purchase, and start installing, move the two surviving hydrangeas, ninebark, and sweet pepperbush once dormant to the orchard area where they will be protected come spring, relocate fothergilla, remove apple trees and clean up area, remove nonnative hollies and boxwoods and install evergreens whenever they arrive.
10/26
Going to be spending some money on the Elantra, about $400; getting it caught up on recommended services. They also recommended new tires but they wouldn't be able to replace them until tomorrow and frankly I don't want to have to spend the money on them right now and figure they will hold up until spring when it's due for an inspection. So they are patching the leaky tire (driver rear) for me. Soon it will be the van's turn as oil life is at 20%.
I got an email that the dwarf yaupons have been packed and sent out for delivery, so I should be able to get those in the ground next week. I did get a seed order list made last night, now I just need to estimate how many plants I will need to make sure there are enough seeds in a single packet (lest I have to order multiple ones), compare with what seeds I already have, and go ahead and order (at least for now the ones that cold stratification--annuals I can put off until winter unless I get really itchy to get stuff growing in winter). Work is slow so think I will take what extra time I have to start mapping out the orchard and flagging location for yaupons and clean up around the border apple tree (to be removed).