Oh hey Livejournal!
It's officially November. 11/1, otherwise known was "wan wan wan" day... ("Wan" being the Japanese onomatopoeia for "woof") This has resulted in Youtube featuring a ton of kawaii dog videos on their front page, and I too shall celebrate by posting a picture my mom took recently of our two dogs back home in Canada:
Our purebread Standard Poodle Rolo, and our abomination Shih-tzu Bichon Cross Detxer.
So as the time passes the days are getting shorter. Winter is coming around again, and I can't help but be reminded about the very different life I had this time last year. I can't imagine what would have become of me if I had stayed with Adam, and to be honest, there are times when I do feel that I regret losing a partner in crime. However, I have decided that one year is long enough. I shouldn't let last year's ghosts overlap the potential for good memories and lessons learned this year. It's time to shove those feelings in a shoebox and store it under my bed with the rest of the junk I won't be needing any time soon...
That being said, I'm currently in a giant love/hate relationship with Japan right now. Some days it's really hard to remember what I'm here for. I love school. I love studying, because it's something I am good at, but I don't know what I'm going to do come March. I hope that I can find a job that allows me to utilize everything I've learned here in Japan, but at the same time I truly feel like I'm ready to move on to better things. Maybe I just need a break. I'm afraid that when I go back to Canada I will regret leaving, but at the same time, when I consider that I could have been back home in Canada by now, I feel heartsick.
I really don't enjoy being alone, but I choose to keep going here because I feel like it's the best thing for me to do right now. It's a hard decision for me, and I don't expect my friends to understand what it's like to feel this "homesick". I don't have anything tying me down here. I don't have a significant other, I don't have family, and at the moment I hardly have friends. I struggle to live paycheck to paycheck, and I constantly live with the notion that "once I go home, the struggling will end" echoing in the back of my mind.
But this is a new year, and with this year comes the wisdom from past mistakes, and the promise of better choices. I feel hopeful. I have faith in the future, because I know that my struggles will not go unrewarded. There is a light at the end of this tunnel, but I'm just not close enough to the exit to see it yet.
I don't know, I'll try to keep Livejournal updated more. I know I post a lot of friends-only entries, but these public ones go to Facebook and stuff too. There's a lot of other things I want to write about, but not things that I want to announce to the general public. Anyway, that being said, if you're reading this on livejournal but you aren't on my friends list, go ahead and add me. I'm not REALLY picky about who DOES read my protected entries, I'm only concerned about keeping a select few out...
I'm excited for this month. The dance contest ends in two weeks, I'll get my test voucher for the JLPT, vending machines started selling hot drinks, and it's NABE season. I'm in the mood for a good kimchi nabe (hot pot). I love it when my dinner makes my nose run.
I know I never comment, but I do read your entries. I check my friend feed every day. Majinon, good job on the completion of your project, you worked so hard on it! Mandi, I'm so glad that you are on the path to success, you deserve it! Margokennedy, you've had quite the adventure, and I hope you make it back home safely! Getoutofmyband, you are wonderful for posting about the fit's dance contest. ;)
(PS, has everyone clicked this link already?)
Fit's Dance Contest Round 2 ENTRY!
Fit's Dance Contest Round 2 RANKING
(Yeah, we're in first place. Yeah, I have a good feeling about this time.)