George W. Bush's Rebuttal! Heh. Rebuttal.
In the interest of equal time, Fred's Blog proudly presents a rebuttal to Moore's essay from famed My Little Pony fanfic writer and President of the United States: George W. Bush.
Michael Moore is Smelly
by President George W. Bush
Now I don't really care that Mr. Moore's controversial film Fahrenheit 451 got a standing ovation at the Can Film Festival, nor that it received the prestigious Palm Door Award for Excellence in the Field of Whatever. First of all, the people at the Kubla Kannes Film Festival were foreigners-call me an old Texan fogey, but where I come from (that is to say, Texas, not the White House), the opinions of foreigners don't matter and are always wrong.
Mr. Moore has made nothing short of slander with his new movie. He has accused me of frightening the American people into submission instead of actually working to solve the problem of terrorism. He has accused me of regular ping-pong games, pizza parties, and teatimes with various terrorist leaders. He has DARED to state that my "My Little Pony" fanfiction has "all the subtlety of a rocket launcher." As to that last accusation, that's just cold. I poor my heart and soul into those fanfics-apparently Mr. Moore has no qualms about hitting below the belt. A man's fanfiction is a sacred thing that should be respected, and I am afraid that Mr. Moore has crossed the line of common decency.
All of the accusations leveled against me in Moore's movie are totally unfounded and completely untrue. He claims that I hired a band of thieves called The Hands of Shadow and used them to steal the election. Unless he is referring to that time when I hired a band of thieves called the Hands of Shadow to steal the movie "Election," starring Reese Witherspoon and Matthew Broderick, from a Dallas Blockbuster Video, he is sorely mistaken. I won fair and square-during my campaign I minimized mudslinging at my opponent, took no soft-money donations, and kept my thefts from Blockbuster Video well under three per week. And by the way, Youth of America, if you're reading this-I've cleaned up my videotape-stealing act, and today, I'm tough on petty theft. So the next time you're at Blockbuster and think you don't want to pay for "Weekend at Bernie's," think of this-is it really worth a 25-YEAR STAY IN FEDERAL PRISON?????
In conclusion, Michael Moore is a smelly hippie. That is all I have to say. Now watch this drive.
Michael Moore is Smelly
by President George W. Bush
Now I don't really care that Mr. Moore's controversial film Fahrenheit 451 got a standing ovation at the Can Film Festival, nor that it received the prestigious Palm Door Award for Excellence in the Field of Whatever. First of all, the people at the Kubla Kannes Film Festival were foreigners-call me an old Texan fogey, but where I come from (that is to say, Texas, not the White House), the opinions of foreigners don't matter and are always wrong.
Mr. Moore has made nothing short of slander with his new movie. He has accused me of frightening the American people into submission instead of actually working to solve the problem of terrorism. He has accused me of regular ping-pong games, pizza parties, and teatimes with various terrorist leaders. He has DARED to state that my "My Little Pony" fanfiction has "all the subtlety of a rocket launcher." As to that last accusation, that's just cold. I poor my heart and soul into those fanfics-apparently Mr. Moore has no qualms about hitting below the belt. A man's fanfiction is a sacred thing that should be respected, and I am afraid that Mr. Moore has crossed the line of common decency.
All of the accusations leveled against me in Moore's movie are totally unfounded and completely untrue. He claims that I hired a band of thieves called The Hands of Shadow and used them to steal the election. Unless he is referring to that time when I hired a band of thieves called the Hands of Shadow to steal the movie "Election," starring Reese Witherspoon and Matthew Broderick, from a Dallas Blockbuster Video, he is sorely mistaken. I won fair and square-during my campaign I minimized mudslinging at my opponent, took no soft-money donations, and kept my thefts from Blockbuster Video well under three per week. And by the way, Youth of America, if you're reading this-I've cleaned up my videotape-stealing act, and today, I'm tough on petty theft. So the next time you're at Blockbuster and think you don't want to pay for "Weekend at Bernie's," think of this-is it really worth a 25-YEAR STAY IN FEDERAL PRISON?????
In conclusion, Michael Moore is a smelly hippie. That is all I have to say. Now watch this drive.