(no subject)
The last few weeks have been hard. My mind jumping from place to place, unable to be able to focus on any one thing for longer then five to ten minutes. This weekend, I took a trip to visit my very good friend Xanther in Batavia, IL. I used all public transit to get there, mainly because, I don't drive. But, it was the time that it took to get there and back that is what I'm writing about...especially the trip home...
When you've got a good 4 to 5 hours to think to yourself, be it walking to a train station, or sitting on a commuter train, your mind touches on things you normally wouldn't when you've got things like a computer or TV to distract it. I sat there on the train from Geneva to Chicago and I thought about my life the past 2 years. Wow...I can't believe all the roads I've traversed, the friendships that I've gained...and lost. I also thought about my future, the move I've already announced here on LJ...and I don't think it's going to happen, for many reasons. I can't afford it...and something is calling me to stay here, for some reason. I don't know what it is...but I don't feel I'm meant to leave yet. I don't like to yo-yo on things like this. It annoys the hell out of me to have to say that I'm reconsidering the move, especially after how passionate I was about it. As well, I recall talking with a good friend a few months ago, and I gave them a bit of advice that I honestly need to take myself:
"Running from your problems solves nothing. It's when you turn and face them head on, and fight them, that you begin to turn the tide in your life."
It was also once I got off the Green Line Elevated Train in downtown Chicago that another person came to my mind. Why they came to my mind? I don't know. But, I couldn't get them off my mind the whole time I was in Chicago...even when I got home, something kept grinding an invisible elbow into my back to get back in contact with them, just to touch base...
Something is finally beginning to happen in my life, the purpose I thought I had lost is finally starting to return...and I'm going to welcome it with open arms. Something has got to give, and I think it is about to give, and I have a feeling it's something for the better...
When you've got a good 4 to 5 hours to think to yourself, be it walking to a train station, or sitting on a commuter train, your mind touches on things you normally wouldn't when you've got things like a computer or TV to distract it. I sat there on the train from Geneva to Chicago and I thought about my life the past 2 years. Wow...I can't believe all the roads I've traversed, the friendships that I've gained...and lost. I also thought about my future, the move I've already announced here on LJ...and I don't think it's going to happen, for many reasons. I can't afford it...and something is calling me to stay here, for some reason. I don't know what it is...but I don't feel I'm meant to leave yet. I don't like to yo-yo on things like this. It annoys the hell out of me to have to say that I'm reconsidering the move, especially after how passionate I was about it. As well, I recall talking with a good friend a few months ago, and I gave them a bit of advice that I honestly need to take myself:
"Running from your problems solves nothing. It's when you turn and face them head on, and fight them, that you begin to turn the tide in your life."
It was also once I got off the Green Line Elevated Train in downtown Chicago that another person came to my mind. Why they came to my mind? I don't know. But, I couldn't get them off my mind the whole time I was in Chicago...even when I got home, something kept grinding an invisible elbow into my back to get back in contact with them, just to touch base...
Something is finally beginning to happen in my life, the purpose I thought I had lost is finally starting to return...and I'm going to welcome it with open arms. Something has got to give, and I think it is about to give, and I have a feeling it's something for the better...