being who I am
I've gotten to the point (again) where I can't hide who I truly am any more. Who I thought I was and who I thought I could be will always be a lie. God names me. God knows who I am. But I haven't been living in God very much. SUre I'm still a Christian and I do Christian things, but rarley throughout my day do I take time to seek God and ask him about what I should be doing or to whom I should be talking.
Some High Priest, right? The highpriest interceded on behalf of the nation, but first he had to clense him self and offer sacrifises for his own sins. I...well I just take people to God in my own strength.
My breakin pointe is coming soon..I can feel it. (of course I've felt it off and on since I was 15...) I talked to Stacy on some day this week, and I almost started crying because of how stressed out I'd gotten. I keep feeling like I'm failing everyone that I know because I can't spend every hour of my life helping them.
I met at girl on campus named Lauren. She's awesome. the problem is that I'm sort of falling in love with her. and I don't want to. I started talking to her becasue I could see that she was hurting. While we spent more and more time with each other, she started telling me the same things that you all tell me. "Focus on God. Let your self feel the hurt. You don't have to be everything to everyone, that's God's job." So I'm torn between my emotions and my spirit. I don't know this girl very well yet, I know that she's like a lot of other girls that I know though who've been hurt in their past. The last thing that either of us need is a boyfriend/girlfriend. But we do both need people to whom we can turn while we're on campus (a body if I might say so...). She doesn't know me as much as all of you, but she want's too...I don't know her as much as I know some of you...but I want to.
And then all along, I still keep feeling like I'm betraying Sara for even thinking of liking another girl. And no I haven't asked God about any of this. And that brings me back to the begining.
What kind of a high priest doesn't seek God? Me.
Some High Priest, right? The highpriest interceded on behalf of the nation, but first he had to clense him self and offer sacrifises for his own sins. I...well I just take people to God in my own strength.
My breakin pointe is coming soon..I can feel it. (of course I've felt it off and on since I was 15...) I talked to Stacy on some day this week, and I almost started crying because of how stressed out I'd gotten. I keep feeling like I'm failing everyone that I know because I can't spend every hour of my life helping them.
I met at girl on campus named Lauren. She's awesome. the problem is that I'm sort of falling in love with her. and I don't want to. I started talking to her becasue I could see that she was hurting. While we spent more and more time with each other, she started telling me the same things that you all tell me. "Focus on God. Let your self feel the hurt. You don't have to be everything to everyone, that's God's job." So I'm torn between my emotions and my spirit. I don't know this girl very well yet, I know that she's like a lot of other girls that I know though who've been hurt in their past. The last thing that either of us need is a boyfriend/girlfriend. But we do both need people to whom we can turn while we're on campus (a body if I might say so...). She doesn't know me as much as all of you, but she want's too...I don't know her as much as I know some of you...but I want to.
And then all along, I still keep feeling like I'm betraying Sara for even thinking of liking another girl. And no I haven't asked God about any of this. And that brings me back to the begining.
What kind of a high priest doesn't seek God? Me.