Sometimes I wonder why I bother...
Just got home and showered and started to get a little food in my stomach.
I feel extreme pressure from within to prove that I am myself because of my past and that I can learn from it and move on.
Am I really that OLD of a SOUL? If not is my adoptive stepmother really that afraid of the truth?
Why can't she remember? Why does she want to believe that the signiature I recognize (hhmm um I use to write so much like her she once accused me of forging her name on a permission slip for school....)I NOT hers?
Denial is a very painful thing to watch...when it happens to you, within you...the pain is so extreme you can't seem to see past your own nose.
I think this is counterproductive, goes against my true nature and makes me feel like SHIT on top of everything else.
I must be INSANE...I thought I could bring her to BM 2006 and show her the WORLD she refuses to see for herself.
She hung up on me crying and I am no longer willing to drive all the way to WILLCOX ARIZONA to pick HER up and BRING her to BM.
If she wants to know me THAT BADLY, well hopefully she will know where or at least how to find me....
Here's hopin', even got my toes crossed.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
K, Rant over. Thanks for reading.
I feel extreme pressure from within to prove that I am myself because of my past and that I can learn from it and move on.
Am I really that OLD of a SOUL? If not is my adoptive stepmother really that afraid of the truth?
Why can't she remember? Why does she want to believe that the signiature I recognize (hhmm um I use to write so much like her she once accused me of forging her name on a permission slip for school....)I NOT hers?
Denial is a very painful thing to watch...when it happens to you, within you...the pain is so extreme you can't seem to see past your own nose.
I think this is counterproductive, goes against my true nature and makes me feel like SHIT on top of everything else.
I must be INSANE...I thought I could bring her to BM 2006 and show her the WORLD she refuses to see for herself.
She hung up on me crying and I am no longer willing to drive all the way to WILLCOX ARIZONA to pick HER up and BRING her to BM.
If she wants to know me THAT BADLY, well hopefully she will know where or at least how to find me....
Here's hopin', even got my toes crossed.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
K, Rant over. Thanks for reading.