[Thinks its private, and its not~]
Sometimes I don't know what to think, everything has changed so drastically, for better and worse. First Usagi and Chizu seems to have vanished completely from our lives when they use to be pillar in someway. Chizu loved Raph, I loved Usagi. Both gave us someone to love openly.
They both left for a reason or another, Chizu became to busy for the community with her duties and I broke it off with Usagi thanks to my own petty words. If I had wanted I could have taken them back so easily and been in a open relationship that isn't that taboo as my current one. I'm far from complaining though, I...I love Raph so much, even if we routinely drive each other crazy, I do love him. But its hard to think about Splinters reaction if he found out. I'd probably be sent back to Japan... It'd kill me if it came to that, having to choose between my feelings and what Sensei says would be right.
I think I'd just stay in Japan if it came to that, I couldn't stand not being able to be with Raphael while under the same roof. Sensei would watch us like a hawk and make sure he and I were never alone. I don't think I could live with them resenting me.
Than I have to think about Donny, he left us because of the mutation, even if we all tried to reassure him he'd be fine, that he's not a monster. He still won't come back. I miss him, we all miss him, the house sounds so quiet without his late night tinkering and squabbles with Mikey on not touching things in his lab. Its strange, the lair feels lacking without all of us here, unbalanced. By now Mikey's been over to Donny's new residence a few times trying to drag him home. Obviously it hasn't worked any. But I'm hoping his contagious personality will make Donny miss being here as much as we miss him.
There's this gut feeling eating at me, it feels like something big is going to happen... I can't say what but its keeping me awake when I should be asleep in bed.
Maybe some meditation would be a good idea, clear my head before I do go to sleep...
((Yes this is long XD but hey it seemed to just happen on its own, feel free to be reply!))
They both left for a reason or another, Chizu became to busy for the community with her duties and I broke it off with Usagi thanks to my own petty words. If I had wanted I could have taken them back so easily and been in a open relationship that isn't that taboo as my current one. I'm far from complaining though, I...I love Raph so much, even if we routinely drive each other crazy, I do love him. But its hard to think about Splinters reaction if he found out. I'd probably be sent back to Japan... It'd kill me if it came to that, having to choose between my feelings and what Sensei says would be right.
I think I'd just stay in Japan if it came to that, I couldn't stand not being able to be with Raphael while under the same roof. Sensei would watch us like a hawk and make sure he and I were never alone. I don't think I could live with them resenting me.
Than I have to think about Donny, he left us because of the mutation, even if we all tried to reassure him he'd be fine, that he's not a monster. He still won't come back. I miss him, we all miss him, the house sounds so quiet without his late night tinkering and squabbles with Mikey on not touching things in his lab. Its strange, the lair feels lacking without all of us here, unbalanced. By now Mikey's been over to Donny's new residence a few times trying to drag him home. Obviously it hasn't worked any. But I'm hoping his contagious personality will make Donny miss being here as much as we miss him.
There's this gut feeling eating at me, it feels like something big is going to happen... I can't say what but its keeping me awake when I should be asleep in bed.
Maybe some meditation would be a good idea, clear my head before I do go to sleep...
((Yes this is long XD but hey it seemed to just happen on its own, feel free to be reply!))