sad sad times. don't piss me off
i buried him today. last night i slept at his house and cried until 430am. i was worried that my bf was mad at me for a stupid reason and i didn't want to feel that on top of my all the shit going through my head right now. i gave him a drunken/depressed phone call at three am which was unanswered so i just kept bawling for another hour. i don't know what is up with me and the bf. i can't tell if it's just because i'm depressed or what but i feel like things are weird between us and it's not helping my mood.
i made the mistake of hanging out in pats (the deceased's) room with all of the boys from high school. i don't know why we thought that would be somekind of healing process but it did not work. i just felt more shitty afterwards. everyone kept giving me copies of pictures of us togeather (including a roll of film they found undeveloped in his car) which i was grateful for but had trouble handling.
ok i'll stop now. i just can't wait to get back to florida and get back to normal. or as close to normal as i was before.
i made the mistake of hanging out in pats (the deceased's) room with all of the boys from high school. i don't know why we thought that would be somekind of healing process but it did not work. i just felt more shitty afterwards. everyone kept giving me copies of pictures of us togeather (including a roll of film they found undeveloped in his car) which i was grateful for but had trouble handling.
ok i'll stop now. i just can't wait to get back to florida and get back to normal. or as close to normal as i was before.