this beat (it fills my head); Inception fic; Arthur/Cobb; PG13

Aug 25, 2010 21:36

Title: this beat (it fills my head)
Prompt: Five Things About Arthur That Make Cobb Love Him Even More.
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 4,570
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Summary: Dom is in love with Arthur. It's not in specifics, but instead it's a journey of scenes from their life together. In numerical order.
Author Notes: I can't believe I did this. If you like it, my thread for the help_pakistan community is here! Also, if you go to the fill in the kink meme you can see a completely omitted part in this fic that I couldn't rewrite in a way I liked, so I scrapped it and wrote a new one that was more cohesive with the fic.


1.
Dom kisses Arthur slow and deep, like they don't when children are around. He goes where Arthur's pushing him, letting it all happen, and then sits with an 'oof' as Arthur pushes him to the bed. "Hey, slow down, we've got all night," Dom says, grinning when Arthur doesn't even heed his words.

Or he does, but only to say, "I want you naked," and pull at Dom's simple pullover shirt. Dom lifts it over his head, only for Arthur to twist it around his arms and hold them, so that he's going to have to dislodge Arthur to pull free from it. It's not uncomfortable, really, so he just raises an eyebrow shrugs his shoulders, to test how comfortable he is.

"Anything else you want?" Dom asks, but he's pretty sure Arthur will just take it. Arthur's astride his lap, pulling him out of his jeans, and Dom has a moment to wonder where Arthur's own jeans went before -

Before he wakes up, disoriented and panting, hard in his shorts. A dream. He was dreaming. He doesn't do that anymore, he can't. And yet, he did. He was having a wet dream, which is equally ridiculous, due to his age and his sleeping issues. He sleeps without dreaming because when he dreams for a living, he doesn't get to have it as an enjoyable hobby, too. That's not how his life works.

Only, he hasn't been doing it for a living. He's been home, spinning his top every morning he wakes - and that right there is something he should have done, should do right now. Dom realizes he's had the totem clutched in his hand since his waking flails, and spins it on his nightstand, feeling with creeping certainty that it will never fall until gravity says otherwise, and it starts to wobble before falling.

When it rolls off the nightstand he lurches forward to catch it, relieved beyond measure. His first instinct is to call Arthur, because this - he's dreaming again. Arthur has extracurricular dreams, as he calls them, but Dom doesn't know what they're about. He wants to, but he doesn't ask. He's not supposed to want to know.

But Arthur's not like him. Arthur still dreams because he can compartmentalize, because his feelings don't bleed everywhere. Arthur is the person he needs to talk to, but due to the time and the nature of the dream, Dom can't call Arthur. He can't. He looks across the room to the postcards Arthur sends him - the ones to the kids are stuck on the fridge downstairs - and loves Arthur. He knows it, but it can't happen, because he can't do that to Arthur, to Mal, to his children. He's not good for people, but he's too selfish to stay away.

He's got his phone and is pressing the speed dial, number 3 because Miles is 2, before he actually succeeds in talking himself out of it. "Cobb?" Arthur asks, sounding the kind of alert you get to be after getting used to waking up in odd places, at odd times. "Is something wrong, are you all okay?"

"I had - I dreamed," Dom says, and hears Arthur suck in a breath. "No, like falling asleep and dreaming, an extracurricular dream. I woke up because of," he stops, because he's unable to continue. He can't explain to Arthur why or how.

"That's...progress, right?" Arthur asks after a moment, and Dom hears movement. He imagines Arthur in bed, and now he knows this was a mistake.

"Yeah, I guess," Dom sounds doubtful, he knows. He is doubtful. If he has these dreams to look forward to, or nightmares that might eventually arise, he doesn't want this as much as he thought he did. "I'm sorry I woke you, I was just," Dom stops again. I'm just in love with you and haven't seen you for over a year, he thinks, because the last time he saw Arthur was in the airport after the inception job.

Arthur left right after that to fly home and visit his own family, and Dom has been receiving postcards from him ever since. "Don't be sorry, I'm glad you called. I'm sorry I haven't called recently, I haven't been working and it's...odd, to not talk dreams with you," Arthur says, his voice making the invitation to continue the conversation clear. He was giving Dom space, reconnection time.

"Your travels haven't been because of work?" Dom asks, surprised. He stands to look at the postcards he has collected, taped to the mirror, from London and Mumbai and Barcelona, and Sao Paulo and Miami and most recently, Vancouver. New York and Philadelphia, Tokyo and Madrid, Tirana. Eames had written a note on the one in Sangre Grande, wishing him and his family well. He hadn't written anything on the one Arthur had sent to Phillipa and James.

"Cobb, I don't need to work ever again," Arthur says, patiently amused. "I was just trying to keep busy," Arthur's trying to explain feeling unfettered for the first time, Dom knows.

"You should come visit," Dom suggests, before he can help it. He kicks himself, staring at Arthur's politely friendly words on the postcards. He thinks about the ones downstairs that are to his children and signed with 'love, Arthur,' and he wants that. Before Arthur can say anything, Dom says, "It was about you. My dream."

Arthur is silent for a long time. It makes Dom nervous, because he can hear Arthur's breathing. Dom always does things he says he'll never do, as Arthur has pointed out to him in the past. But it works for him. Arthur expects it of him. "What kind of dream?" Arthur asks, finally, and Dom sighs.

Loudly, into the phone, so there's no mistake that he hates the question. "I - Arthur, it was a dream. About you. I don't know what you want me to say," Dom admits. He can lie to Arthur, but usually Arthur knows when he will and doesn't press it.

"I don't need an explanation from you, if you don't want to give one," Arthur says quietly. "Or if you can't." His voice is knowing, though, and Dom knows that Arthur gets it. He knows, now, that Arthur can tell what he isn't saying. What Dom doesn't know is if he should say it.

"But do you want one?" He asks, and there's so much they're talking around. Dom's in love with Arthur, on the verge of confessing it all because he's terrible at knowing he's in love with people and hiding it from them, and it could ruin his longest and best friendship. He needs to give Arthur what he wants, and if Arthur wants nothing, Dom can give that.

He's been an ass, giving that throughout the years since Mal's death. "Yes, I would," Arthur says, so Dom tells him the truth.

He spends the next five hours doing quiet household chores before waking his children up, feeding them, and packing them into the car so they can pick Arthur up from the airport. After the hugs, Arthur takes one look at Dom and declares that he's driving back, and that Dom's napping while Arthur babysits.

While Dom listens to Phillipa tell Arthur she's not a baby, he thinks that maybe, if he dreams while he sleeps, it will be okay.

2.
It's not obsessive, the way Dom watches Arthur, but it easily could cross that edge. Right now, it probably toes the line. Dom listens to Yusuf explain the effects of the compounds they will be taking, but he watches Arthur listen. He looks at the diagrams Ariadne has made, or the scale models, but when he blinks, his eyes go to Arthur first, and then back to the conversation.

He watches Arthur write in his notebook, and can picture the precise lines his letters are comprised of; neat and squared-off shapes that could very well be a font. He watches the way Arthur shrugs and knows the movement underneath his clothes. He watches the way Arthur crosses his legs, the way his ankle rests on his knee, his foot bouncing.

"If you keep staring at me," Arthur says, out the side of his mouth, "the others are going to notice. Eames already has, I'm sure." Dom is almost positive Eames has; the man has been staring at them with a speculative look in his eye.

"I'll stop," Dom lies, because he's not sure he can. He's always kept an eye on Arthur, but he's never been like this. They've never been like this. This is the trial run on the business plan they've developed, and it's not the first thing on Dom's mind because it's the first time he's worked with Arthur since he and Arthur started this new layer to their relationship. It's distracting and wonderful, and Dom loves being in love. It feels good, and right.

"You don't have to," Arthur says, and smirks at him. "It's...flattering," he admits, and Dom's eyes widen. He can translate what that means: Dom being enamored by Arthur turns Arthur on.

"I see," Dom says, and it's his turn to smirk. Arthur has a faint blush on his cheeks, and he's still smiling. They get back to work, slipping back seamlessly, and Dom notices Arthur looking back, now. When Arthur sits too close at the bar they decide on after work, no one blinks except Yusuf. Dom hesitates, and the figures, what the hell. He puts his arm over the back of the booth, his curled fingers resting against Arthur's shoulder. Yusuf doesn't notice until Eames nudges him, and Dom can feel Arthur stiffen.

Yusuf just sighs. "I guess I owe Eames," he says sadly, handing the con man a fifty. "He bet me you two would let on to us within a week, and I said three at least." Yusuf frowns, and for a moment Dom thinks he's going to insist that he and Arthur give him twenty-five each, for failing him.

"I shouldn't be surprised you bet on us, and yet I am," Arthur says, and looks at Eames, who is smiling beatifically. "I really think that since we came through for you, you should get the first round." Eames' face falls at this, and next to Dom, Ariadne laughs.

"That's perfect! It can be congratulatory, too. Come on, Eames!" Ariadne says, and stands. "I'll help you carry drinks," and with that she walks away. Dom kicks Eames foot, and with a put-upon sigh Eames follows.

"How much do you want to bet on those two?" Yusuf asks, grinning as he leans over the table.

3.
Dom watches Arthur drop the girl's number in the trash on the way out of the bar, and feels a rush of smug possessiveness. He looks back to catch her eye, and sees that she noticed. Dom doesn't glare or do anything untoward, except for slipping is hand under Arthur's jacket, resting it at the small of his back.

"I suppose I should thank you for not peeing on my shoe," Arthur says, smirking, glancing sideways at Dom.

"I could just kiss you before the woman eying you from across the bar even makes it over next time," Dom suggests, but really, he's not that bad. "I'm not that bad," he insists.

"You glowered at her from the moment we stepped into that bar, and when she came over ten minutes before we left you started glaring," Arthur says, and he's not quite laughing, but it's a close thing. Dom frowns, because clearly Arthur's not understanding.

"Because we're out on a date and she's - Arthur," Dom stops, and puts a hand on Arthur's elbow to halt their pace. "How would you feel if I was, I don't know, hit on?"

"Seriously, Dom?" Arthur asks, and yes, damnit, seriously - Dom nods, and Arthur shakes his head. "I - you're too obvious about everything, Dom. With me, at least. People who think about hitting on you watch you, and they see you watch me, or see us together," Arthur says, and Dom frowns. "You're more demonstrative than me, but I think people respect it when you're putting it out there, that we're together."

"So what you're saying is that you don't think you need to worry," Dom sums up, and doesn't like the way the word 'harmless' rolls around in his head. He's older than Arthur, and he found a grey hair yesterday. He didn't tell Arthur, but he's sure the man noticed.

"Do I need to worry?" Arthur asks, his voice low and close, since he's taken a sudden step further into Dom's space. His mouth traces Dom's jaw as he speaks, and Dom leans forward against him, putting his hands on Arthur's hips. "Dom, I don't worry because of a thousand reasons, one of them being that I know just about everything there is to know about you, from the way you crack eggs to the way your thighs tense when I suck you off. We're partners, inside and outside of our business. I'm not worried."

Dom kisses him, because he loves Arthur for the same reasons Arthur loves him, and because of the countless other reasons he doesn't need to justify. When they part he says, "I sometimes worry that you'll wake up and see that you've spent half your life with me, counting it all up," Dom confides, and then stops, because Arthur looks genuinely angry.

"You say that like I make poor choices, frequently or even routinely," Arthur glares, and Dom feels suitably chastised.

4.
Arthur freaks out when Dom tells him that, in the event of his death, Arthur is named the legal guardian of his children. It's not a full-blown panic attack, because Dom doesn't think Arthur is capable of that sort of lapse in stability and rational.

He goes quiet, and his eyes widen. And then he quietly asks Dom for a moment before walking out the door, without waiting on an answer. Dom hears Arthur's car start, and then he hears it turn off. And then on, and it stays on, before driving away.

Dom is on the verge of a full-blown panic attack after Arthur doesn't come back for an hour. Why - why would Dom think he could just spring something like this on someone? He knows Arthur loves the kids, just as the kids love him, but that's not - what if Arthur doesn't want that sort of responsibility? God, but Dom knows how hard it is raising children who remind you every day of someone who is gone. Why hadn't he spoken with Arthur, before telling his lawyers to put his name down?

Arthur's on the list at school of someone they can call, if they can't reach Dom. Arthur knows the kids' teachers, and has been to the plays and recitals and inane meetings. Arthur is the one who does background checks whenever the children get a new teacher. Arthur is a part of the children's lives, but Dom is never sure about how much will be too much, for Arthur. Dom made it official with the school when Arthur started picking them up, but they've never talked about it. Dom can't assume things, when it comes to Arthur. They're a family, but the paperwork isn't there to prove it. Dom isn't sure of what Arthur wants, but he knows what the children think, and the only reason they call Arthur uncle is because they already have a daddy.

After more than two hours, he's taken to pacing and glaring at his phone. Dom could call, sure, but what if that pressures Arthur into something he doesn't want, just because he loves Dom? Dom's not just doing this because the kids need someone who will take care of them; he's doing this because he needs to know that Arthur will be a part of his children's lives because he knows how much they love him.

He looks at the papers, and how they're just waiting on Arthur's signature. And then he jumps, because suddenly the phone's ringing. "Hello?" Dom asks, his voice hoarse. He clears his throat, and feels a tension relax from his body as he hears Arthur's voice.

"I - since I'm out, I'll get Phillipa and James from school," Arthur says, and he sounds the same as always. Dom finds it a little infuriating, but mostly it's a relief. His eyes sting a little, but it's nothing. Arthur's coming home. "Dom?" Arthur asks, and he realizes he's been quiet too long.

"Okay, thanks," Dom says, before Arthur hums a response and hangs up. Dom blinks at the phone, and goes to clean up and change and pour out his old coffee, and try to look like he hasn't been staring at papers and pacing for most of the time Arthur's been gone.

When Arthur gets home with the children, he has a folder he's holding in a white-knuckled grip. Dom wants to ask what's happened, and if anything's changed, but he waits until the kids have snacks and are playing out back. Arthur preempts him by handing him the folder. When Dom opens it, slowly and with a little trepidation, Arthur sits down on the couch.

Dom reads the papers, and has to sit down next to him. The paperwork Arthur's handed him states that in the event of his death - Dom hurts at that thought - all of his belongings and value will go to Dom and his children, with some set aside for the children of Arthur's relatives. If Dom isn't alive, it goes straight to James and Phillipa, assuming they are of age. If they aren't, he's named their grandparents or Ariadne the custodian. His old will is attached, and Dom sees that he's always been in Arthur's will, and Mal was, too, as were the children. Arthur's will has changed only a couple of times, but the Cobbs have been constants, along with Arthur's relative's children, a college fund for each of them.

When Dom finishes reading he sees that Arthur's seated next to him, determinedly signing all of the documents that require his signature, filling in any pertinent information on the papers for guardianship. Dom lifts the hand holding the pen gently, and kisses Arthur when he looks up, because he loves him.

"Ew," Phillipa says, upon entering the room, and Arthur laughs into Dom's mouth.

5.
"Thank you for coming with me," Arthur says quietly, and Dom smiles at him, glancing sideways to see him before looking back up to the altar. "I probably wouldn't have come without you," Arthur confesses, and Dom nods. He knows. Arthur doesn't visit his family much, because it isn't home anymore.

"It's my pleasure," Dom says, and is cut off when Arthur's uncle Martin sits behind them, and starts up a conversation with them about how their business - a consulting firm for specialized security - is doing. When Arthur starts to explain to the listening family that no, it's not like private contractors, Dom knows he should listen, but instead he's watching Arthur's family and looking around.

Arthur wanted to bring the children, but Dom said next time. The truth is, Dom knows that Arthur's told his mother and father, but he doesn't want to be a difficulty. He knows that the reason Arthur doesn't visit his family anymore, aside from it not being home, is because his family doesn't know about them. Dom the business partner is a lot easier to explain than Dom, the life partner. He knows Arthur's not ashamed of him, at all; it's more than he doesn't get why it's any of their business. It would stress out the children unnecessarily, too. Next time, they promise each other.

When Wagner's opening notes sound throughout the air everyone stops their conversation, and Dom's eyes widen when he feels Arthur's hand on his. They rise, and Arthur still doesn't let go, so Dom holds on while they watch Arthur's cousin walk down the aisle.

At the reception, Arthur and Dom are asked to dance a lot more than he would have expected, but Dom's game. With a glass of champagne and a few glasses of wine, he's loose enough to be smiling and happy around Arthur's family, and not on his guard. He's been caught staring at Arthur a few times, he's sure, but mostly people are as buzzed as he is, or they smile too. This wedding doesn't hurt him to be at; Arthur's happy, so he's happy.

Until Arthur's mother drags him out to the dance floor, for a dance to a song he's heard Phillipa sing. He's not sure what to expect, but she doesn't seem her usual reserved and taciturn self. She seems loose, like him, and Dom hopes she's been hitting the wine as hard as he has. It might make whatever's about to happen a little easier.

"My brother Martin and I spoke, right after the wedding," she says, and Dom nods. "He says that you are in love with Arthur as much as Arthur is in love with you, if not more," she continues, and Dom tenses. Martin and the rest of the family don't know, Arthur would have told him if he'd said anything. "We think you should get married and invite all of us to California - ow!" She says, when Dom trips over her feet. Dom has no idea what is going on, but he's torn between escaping to the bathroom to check his totem, and running away to hide in the room they have reserved at this hotel.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just - what?" He asks, because he's not sure what's happening. He looks around for Arthur, and sees that Martin has accosted him at a table. Arthur looks like he was on his way over before Martin came along, and the glance Martin sends Dom's way makes him think that they planned this.

"I told Martin and his wife Carol that Arthur was bringing his partner," Arthur's mom explains. "John," she says, and Dom knows that's Arthur's father's name, "told Bernadette," the mother of the bride? Dom thinks so. "They all know that my son has been living with you for years, now. We're all hoping you'll make it official soon."

"Ma'am, I - appreciate what you've said," Dom says carefully. He is relatively certain this is reality, which means that Arthur's mom is drunk. He has to be cautious with what he says, here. "I'm just going to get you - us, I'll get us both some water. I think that would be good, from now on," Dom begins to guide her off the dance floor, but stops when she snorts.

She sounds exactly like Arthur does, when Dom's not getting something that he thinks is pretty easy. "I'm going to ignore the fact that you think I'm drunk, if you start planning a wedding for sometime within two years," she bargains, and forcibly moves Dom so they're dancing again. Dom's staring at her, he knows.

The ultimatum sounds like a good one, if he's honest with himself. If he's even more open about it, "I thought about asking him before," Dom says to her, and she looks up at him, shocked. "I thought - I never knew more of his family, outside of you and the rest of his immediate family, knew about us."

"You never asked?" She says, and is looking around like she wants to speak with Arthur. Dom feels like he's tattled, suddenly.

"Not exactly. We usually just don't talk about this sort of...stuff. He's all but adopted James and Phillipa," Dom says, and sees her eyes soften a bit when he talks about his children. "Marriage never really has been an issue, and I don't have much family left out there. It's not an excuse as much as a...reason, I guess," Dom shrugs, and when the song ends, she leads him over to a table.

"You were married," she says after a moment, and warily, Dom nods. "Is it because you don't want to replace your wife?" She asks, and Dom swallows. He's not sure how to answer that. It's too complicated, too difficult to explain.

Still, he tries. "He could never replace Mal. He doesn't want to. I don't want him to. He's Arthur," Dom makes a meaningless gesture, trying to get across just how terrible he'd be at describing all of what Arthur is. "He's everything to me and to the children, but there's no way he could be her. I couldn't have fallen in love with him if he was a replacement, because I wouldn't have ever gotten over her," Dom stops, because he's not saying this right. He's not doing Arthur justice. "He's my best friend, you know?" He asks, and she nods. "I loved him before I fell in love with him," Dom says, and she nods again. "He helps me get through everything that happened after Mal's death, but that was because we were friends. When I fell in love with him, it wasn't because I wanted a replacement, it was because I had healed enough to move on, and it was thanks to him, mostly." Dom waits a moment, and then says, "I don't know if that answered your question," and then thinks for a moment before admitting, "I'm not sure I remember your question." He huffs out a laugh, suddenly drained and hopelessly sober.

Arthur's mom's eyes are kind of bright as she replies, "That's okay, dear. I think you answered all of my questions." She smiles at him, and Dom can see Arthur's smile in hers. She's a beautiful lady, when she smiles.

"What questions?" Dom hears, and turns in his seat to see Arthur coming up behind him. "Mom, what happened?" Arthur asks, and Dom watches her wave him off.

"Something in my eye," she says, and stands. "Dom, dear, I expect results within an appropriate amount of time," she warns, before heading toward her husband. He's grinning over at them, and Dom can see how much Arthur is like his mother, when he looks at his father.

"What was that about?" Arthur looks at Dom, and sits when Dom gestures for him to. He reaches out to hold Arthur's hand, to hold him there, and to ground himself.

"Would you marry me?" Dom asks, and winces when Arthur's hand tightens so hard on his that it hurts. Dom is holding Arthur's hand so that he wouldn't leave, and it occurs to him that maybe Arthur's not so much letting him do it, as doing the same.

"Are...you asking me?" Arthur looks around, and so does Dom. Miraculously, no one is looking at them. Dom doesn't think it would change anything, if people were. He feels daring and elated, more like a teenager than his near-forty years.

I could, Dom thinks. I could ask him. Instead, Dom decides to wait, because this is not their day and Arthur deserves so much more than an unplanned and spur-of-the-moment proposal. "I'll do it right, when I ask," Dom says, feeling more confident when Arthur smiles at him.

"How do you know I won't ask you first?" Arthur asks, and Dom blinks at him. Arthur still manages to surprise him, no matter how long they are together, or how much time they spend in each others' minds.

"The answer is yes, either way, right?" Dom figures, and when Arthur leans forward they meet halfway for a kiss.

inception slash, my writing, inception, pg13, kink meme, fic, arthur/cobb

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