Training for war.
Is incredible. War games starting at 0100, with actual paid Iraqi-Americans who rush our camp with AK's and blanks trying to take us out. I can't describe the emotions you feel, even in a simulation, when you are frantically performing squad manuevers to take out an rpg.
Most people have misconceptions of Iraqis. Myself with what I've learned so far, have come to really respect their way of live in a certain extent of the word. Almost all of them love us for what we are doing, it's just a few insurgents who can not stand us, and henceforth try to kill us. Their way ouf life, outside of how we treat our females, are pretty simular. Islam is pretty close to Christianity, what with Allah and Jehovah being the same entity. Most Iraqis don't believe in killing themselves for the greater good, just go overboard with their religions like some messed up Christians do. The main reason that women dress the way they do is becuase they don't want to have any part of them revealed so that they can not be lusted after, which I think is a pretty good idea. And it works too, apparently considering the incredibly low amount of rapes that occur over there.
News from Bucca - We've been doing a lot of convoy training, which is riding in like a ten vehicle line with your rifles pointed out to the side for security(this is how almost everyone who dies, does)and trying to get used to firing with accuracy while driving 45 miles an hour. Well, [url]http://combatarms.mu.nu/archives/123742.php[/url] another person died right where I hopefully am going during a convoy. Everyone is freaking out, but me, being my hard to the core(hahahaha) self, just want to get it done and over with, and get back home 60,000 buckaroos + richer. If I go home in a week, I won't be going to any of these upcoming wars, mostly because I don't want to. In the Alaska Guard, you pretty much choose if you want to go or not. Thing is, so many people want to go that their might not be room for the last 6 people to volunteer, which includes me.
If I go back home...unfortuneately, things would just end up like they were before I left; Me on my own, enjoying life and loving all of my friends, but still feeling a little miserable every time I saw her. I don't even try to think about her anymore, because I can plainly see what I did now, and I just wish I could treat her like I treat almost every other female. But I can't because she's special, and that makes me act like a jerk, consistently. But if I do go home, there has got to be a reason, right? Who knows...not me. It's messed up, but that's how and what I am.
I've been pretty messed up over the years, making up a lot of stuff along the way and not including others, but when I look at the real stuff that I've done, I've got to say I might be missing a screw here or there. Think about it. I saw myself carve words into my hand in my sleep and woke up and they were there. That's not normal. Hahaha silly as it may sound but I used to just type and type, and read it back and know that I would never type something like I did. That kind of junk doesn't really happen, it's something kids make up as a cry for help. Something was wrong with me, but now that I'm training to go fight, all of that little kid stuff, I guess doesn't have time to affect me anymore. Childish things(sans video games and movies, gotta have those) are fading away as I'm seeing more and more pictures of people mangled to shreds by other people who don't feel like playing little kids games. The Insurgents("terrorists" to the public) aren't playing fair anymore, what with strapping bombs to the "inner thighs"(evil...) of little girls and breaking her leg so they waiting for the nice solder man to come over before they detonate and take both of out. Or when they rig a grenade to a door and rig it so that when someone kicks it down, it pulls the pin and bam. You can only see so many pictures of dead kids and dead comrades before it doesn't even matter if you like the military or not, you're just filled with such a hatred for these insurgents that you don't want to stop. I don't want to keep getting paid some 3-4 grand a month from the Army, if I didn't do something myself to try and stop what these people are doing. All I can do is pray, but I am enraged so much by the stuff you won't hear about that I have to something. If you see, some of the things I have seen, there wouldn't be much of an uproar against the war. Patriotism and all that aside, it's just human decency. If only I could even talk about your views might change. I don't even care if anyone reads this besides my mom, no one would take notice any how.
I've been to busy being mad to be sad. Get it? If I don't have time to think about anything, then I won't have time to think about home, my church, my friends, my life, my mistakes, my regrets, my ______, and I definitely wouldn't have time to reflect on the nightmares I've been having. Hey, if you read this and thought I talked in my sleep before, well not it's a lot more extreme. There are just some things you can't unsee. And to be honest, I would rather keep being busy than have time to think about going home.
I don't want to hurt anyone who doesn't need to be hurt. You know what I mean by that.
I grew up a lot in from January to August, and then I grew back down, slowly but surely over the course of 40 days. Now...I don't know if I could grow back down, speaking I've been thrusted into a maturity and understanding and awareness I don't think I was ready for. I know why I want to fight, and to me it is worth it. These people are continiously dying for their religion, and if I die, it would be for mine. I would die for my family, my friends, those I love, those I don't, for my country and most importantly for my God, and that to me, is worth it.
Tiddy Bittle - I now, am ready to kill.
Most people have misconceptions of Iraqis. Myself with what I've learned so far, have come to really respect their way of live in a certain extent of the word. Almost all of them love us for what we are doing, it's just a few insurgents who can not stand us, and henceforth try to kill us. Their way ouf life, outside of how we treat our females, are pretty simular. Islam is pretty close to Christianity, what with Allah and Jehovah being the same entity. Most Iraqis don't believe in killing themselves for the greater good, just go overboard with their religions like some messed up Christians do. The main reason that women dress the way they do is becuase they don't want to have any part of them revealed so that they can not be lusted after, which I think is a pretty good idea. And it works too, apparently considering the incredibly low amount of rapes that occur over there.
News from Bucca - We've been doing a lot of convoy training, which is riding in like a ten vehicle line with your rifles pointed out to the side for security(this is how almost everyone who dies, does)and trying to get used to firing with accuracy while driving 45 miles an hour. Well, [url]http://combatarms.mu.nu/archives/123742.php[/url] another person died right where I hopefully am going during a convoy. Everyone is freaking out, but me, being my hard to the core(hahahaha) self, just want to get it done and over with, and get back home 60,000 buckaroos + richer. If I go home in a week, I won't be going to any of these upcoming wars, mostly because I don't want to. In the Alaska Guard, you pretty much choose if you want to go or not. Thing is, so many people want to go that their might not be room for the last 6 people to volunteer, which includes me.
If I go back home...unfortuneately, things would just end up like they were before I left; Me on my own, enjoying life and loving all of my friends, but still feeling a little miserable every time I saw her. I don't even try to think about her anymore, because I can plainly see what I did now, and I just wish I could treat her like I treat almost every other female. But I can't because she's special, and that makes me act like a jerk, consistently. But if I do go home, there has got to be a reason, right? Who knows...not me. It's messed up, but that's how and what I am.
I've been pretty messed up over the years, making up a lot of stuff along the way and not including others, but when I look at the real stuff that I've done, I've got to say I might be missing a screw here or there. Think about it. I saw myself carve words into my hand in my sleep and woke up and they were there. That's not normal. Hahaha silly as it may sound but I used to just type and type, and read it back and know that I would never type something like I did. That kind of junk doesn't really happen, it's something kids make up as a cry for help. Something was wrong with me, but now that I'm training to go fight, all of that little kid stuff, I guess doesn't have time to affect me anymore. Childish things(sans video games and movies, gotta have those) are fading away as I'm seeing more and more pictures of people mangled to shreds by other people who don't feel like playing little kids games. The Insurgents("terrorists" to the public) aren't playing fair anymore, what with strapping bombs to the "inner thighs"(evil...) of little girls and breaking her leg so they waiting for the nice solder man to come over before they detonate and take both of out. Or when they rig a grenade to a door and rig it so that when someone kicks it down, it pulls the pin and bam. You can only see so many pictures of dead kids and dead comrades before it doesn't even matter if you like the military or not, you're just filled with such a hatred for these insurgents that you don't want to stop. I don't want to keep getting paid some 3-4 grand a month from the Army, if I didn't do something myself to try and stop what these people are doing. All I can do is pray, but I am enraged so much by the stuff you won't hear about that I have to something. If you see, some of the things I have seen, there wouldn't be much of an uproar against the war. Patriotism and all that aside, it's just human decency. If only I could even talk about your views might change. I don't even care if anyone reads this besides my mom, no one would take notice any how.
I've been to busy being mad to be sad. Get it? If I don't have time to think about anything, then I won't have time to think about home, my church, my friends, my life, my mistakes, my regrets, my ______, and I definitely wouldn't have time to reflect on the nightmares I've been having. Hey, if you read this and thought I talked in my sleep before, well not it's a lot more extreme. There are just some things you can't unsee. And to be honest, I would rather keep being busy than have time to think about going home.
I don't want to hurt anyone who doesn't need to be hurt. You know what I mean by that.
I grew up a lot in from January to August, and then I grew back down, slowly but surely over the course of 40 days. Now...I don't know if I could grow back down, speaking I've been thrusted into a maturity and understanding and awareness I don't think I was ready for. I know why I want to fight, and to me it is worth it. These people are continiously dying for their religion, and if I die, it would be for mine. I would die for my family, my friends, those I love, those I don't, for my country and most importantly for my God, and that to me, is worth it.
Tiddy Bittle - I now, am ready to kill.