Strange Bedfellows
Author's Note: We dedicate this fic to the members of deleterius, without whose love of snark and hate of Sues this pairing would never have come about.
Many thanks to our Brit-Picker and beta shyaway, and to our final beta reader ket_makura.
We hope you enjoy our work.
Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter nor any characters associated with it. They are the property of JK Rowling, Bloomsbury, Scholastic, and Warner Brothers.
We do not own Once Upon a Time in Mexico nor any characters associated with it. They are the property of Robert Rodriguez and Columbia Pictures.
No profit is being made from this work and no copyright infringement is intended.
Strange Bedfellows
"We all need someone we can lean on..." Two unlikely men in an unlikely place find an unlikely friendship in each other. A post-DH, post-OUaTiM crossover AU featuring Severus Snape and Sheldon Sands. Rated R/NC-17 for language, violence, alcohol abuse, and some graphic sexual content. Complete as of 11/16/08.
Prologue ( Part I of I)
Dennis Creevey visits Mexico.
Chapter 1 - The Place of Snakes ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
A battle-torn but alive Severus Snape takes a world tour and makes an unpleasant discovery.
Chapter 2 - Dead Man Walking ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
A battle-torn but alive Agent Sands covers his ass and also makes an unpleasant discovery.
Chapter 3 - Opening Gambit ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
Snape meets his new neighbor.
Chapter 4 - Back in the Saddle ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
Sands makes some renovations and a phone call.
Chapter 5 - Rules of Engagement ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
Snape makes a business arrangement and has dinner.
Chapter 6 - Share and Share Alike ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
Sands makes himself at home and discovers some loose ends.
Chapter 7 - Best Laid Plans ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
Snape and Sands toast the ladies.
Chapter 8 - Many Happy Returns ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
Sands about town.
Chapter 9 - Ill Met By Moonlight ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
Snape and Sands make a few surprising discoveries.
Chapter 10 - Power Plays ( Part I of IV) ( Part II of IV) ( Part III of IV) ( Part IV of IV)
Sands gets had, and so does Snape.
Chapter 11 - The Better Man ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
Snape about town.
Chapter 12 - See No Evil ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
Sands gets the ball rolling.
Chapter 13 - Love Thy Neighbour ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
Don Greene arrives.
Chapter 14 - Line in the Sand ( Part I of III) ( Part II of III) ( Part III of III)
The shit hits the fan.
Chapter 15 - The Place of Turning Roads ( Part I of III) ( Part II of III) ( Part III of III)
The end.
Epilogue ( Part I of I)
Dennis Creevey goes home.
Asides
Title: The Old Block
Author: Mrs. Hyde
Fandom: Harry Potter
Word Count: 3,715
Rating: PG-13/R for language
Summary: “Oh yes, they’re arguing.” The infamous memory scene from Chapter 26 of OotP, and a prequel-fic to Strange Bedfellows.
Author’s Notes: This fic was originally featured on the HMS STFU as part of a community meme addressing canon-denial and badfic clichés. It was written in response to the increasingly common clichés concerning Snape’s family life as a child, particularly the one-dimensional portrayals of his father as the Mad Dog Drunk and his mother as a silently-suffering saint, and has since been incorporated into our “Strange Bedfellows” canon.
Title: Debriefing
Author: Mrs. Hyde and das_mervin
Fandom: Once Upon a Time in Mexico/Harry Potter
Word Count: 5,055
Rating: R for language and (controlled) violence
Summary: A young Agent Sands in training is introduced to magic. A prequel fic to “Strange Bedfellows.”
Author’s Notes: Originally featured on das_mervin's livejournal. A fic exploring the idea we had about how and why Sands might know about magic, which has since been incorporated into our “Strange Bedfellows” canon.
Title: Dead Ends ( Part I of III) ( Part II of III) ( Part III of III)
Author: Mrs. Hyde and das_mervin
Fandom: Harry Potter/Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Word Count: 23,765
Rating: PG-13 for thematic elements and some language
Summary: Harry Potter searches for Snape. A companion fic to “Strange Bedfellows.”
Author’s Notes: Well, we’re sorry to say that you aren’t going to see Harry anymore. He went home when Sands told him to, and so the boys don’t hear from him again. But, with no more information on him, his little scene in Chapter 10 feels a bit like a loose end. So here we take a break from our fic to present to you a scene from the Director’s Cut of “Strange Bedfellows” that shows you how Harry Potter came to Culiacán and why he left.
Title: The Bravest Man
Author: Mrs. Hyde
Fandom: Harry Potter
Word Count: 2,650
Rating: PG for mention of making babies
Summary: “Albus Severus, you were named for two headmasters of Hogwarts.” The naming of Harry’s second son.
Author’s Notes: We were debating on whether or not to include this fic as part of our “Strange Bedfellows” collection, but after “Dead Ends,” we felt that poor Harry deserved some closure on the matter. However, this fic can also serve as a stand-alone. It was something of a sleeper hit in the post-DH fandom; originally written for the HMS STFU canon200, it has since been offered a place on GTReloaded, recced in the Checkmated forums and in multiple personal journals, and featured on crack_broom. It was conceived in part to address what we felt were a lot of misconceptions about why Harry chose the name that he did, with the hope of assuaging some of the general indignation that seems to prevail regarding Little Albus Severus. And so here we present to you the conclusion of Harry’s arc, both within our story and his own.
Title: Foul Play
Author: Mrs. Hyde
Fandom: Harry Potter/Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Word Count: 4,740
Rating: NC-17 for sexual content (SLASH)
Summary: Snape. Sands. Whiskey. Tequila. Sex.
Author’s Notes: It’s smut. We lie to ourselves that there’s a character study somewhere in there, but we all know we’re just in it for the pr0n.
Title: Domestic Tranquillity
Author: Mrs. Hyde
Fandom: Harry Potter/Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Word Count: 2,930
Rating: PG-13/R for language
Summary: Christmas in Culiacán nineteen years later.
Author’s Notes: Remember the little girl in the “Strange Bedfellows” epilogue? Here she is. Along with Little Sheldon Jeffrey-and their five siblings.
Title: Legacies
Author: Mrs. Hyde
Fandom: Harry Potter/Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Word Count: 2,750
Rating: PG for some schoolyard violence and a very nasty painting
Summary: Al Potter meets Isabel Santiago. And Isabel Santiago meets Headmaster Severus Snape.
Author’s Notes: Someone had to find out about Snape’s past somehow. And did you really think he’d let his little protégé go to school anywhere in Mexico? He hates that place.
Title: The Snape and Sands Song Drabbles
Author: das_mervin, with a guest appearance by Mrs. Hyde
Fandom: Harry Potter/Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Rating: PG-13/R for language and some sexual content
Summary: A collection of drabbles from the “Strange Bedfellows” universe, originally written for a song meme, writing one drabble for each of ten randomly selected songs. It obviously grew to more than ten songs, but it was still written for the same meme.
Author’s Notes: Some of you may have seen these before; a few that were spoiler-free were posted on das_mervin’s LJ a while back.
Title: Teacher’s Pet
Author: Mrs. Hyde
Fandom: Harry Potter/Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Word Count: 4,210
Rating: PG/PG-13 for hexing and a little language
Summary: Isabel comes home after her first year at Hogwarts
Author’s Notes: Isabel didn’t write to her uncle after she went to the Headmistress’s office-she didn’t know what to say. But she still wondered.
PPC Missions
Threshold
Eris Discordia
Many thanks to our Brit-Picker and beta shyaway, and to our final beta reader ket_makura.
We hope you enjoy our work.
Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter nor any characters associated with it. They are the property of JK Rowling, Bloomsbury, Scholastic, and Warner Brothers.
We do not own Once Upon a Time in Mexico nor any characters associated with it. They are the property of Robert Rodriguez and Columbia Pictures.
No profit is being made from this work and no copyright infringement is intended.
Strange Bedfellows
"We all need someone we can lean on..." Two unlikely men in an unlikely place find an unlikely friendship in each other. A post-DH, post-OUaTiM crossover AU featuring Severus Snape and Sheldon Sands. Rated R/NC-17 for language, violence, alcohol abuse, and some graphic sexual content. Complete as of 11/16/08.
Prologue ( Part I of I)
Dennis Creevey visits Mexico.
Chapter 1 - The Place of Snakes ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
A battle-torn but alive Severus Snape takes a world tour and makes an unpleasant discovery.
Chapter 2 - Dead Man Walking ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
A battle-torn but alive Agent Sands covers his ass and also makes an unpleasant discovery.
Chapter 3 - Opening Gambit ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
Snape meets his new neighbor.
Chapter 4 - Back in the Saddle ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
Sands makes some renovations and a phone call.
Chapter 5 - Rules of Engagement ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
Snape makes a business arrangement and has dinner.
Chapter 6 - Share and Share Alike ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
Sands makes himself at home and discovers some loose ends.
Chapter 7 - Best Laid Plans ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
Snape and Sands toast the ladies.
Chapter 8 - Many Happy Returns ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
Sands about town.
Chapter 9 - Ill Met By Moonlight ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
Snape and Sands make a few surprising discoveries.
Chapter 10 - Power Plays ( Part I of IV) ( Part II of IV) ( Part III of IV) ( Part IV of IV)
Sands gets had, and so does Snape.
Chapter 11 - The Better Man ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
Snape about town.
Chapter 12 - See No Evil ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
Sands gets the ball rolling.
Chapter 13 - Love Thy Neighbour ( Part I of II) ( Part II of II)
Don Greene arrives.
Chapter 14 - Line in the Sand ( Part I of III) ( Part II of III) ( Part III of III)
The shit hits the fan.
Chapter 15 - The Place of Turning Roads ( Part I of III) ( Part II of III) ( Part III of III)
The end.
Epilogue ( Part I of I)
Dennis Creevey goes home.
Asides
Title: The Old Block
Author: Mrs. Hyde
Fandom: Harry Potter
Word Count: 3,715
Rating: PG-13/R for language
Summary: “Oh yes, they’re arguing.” The infamous memory scene from Chapter 26 of OotP, and a prequel-fic to Strange Bedfellows.
Author’s Notes: This fic was originally featured on the HMS STFU as part of a community meme addressing canon-denial and badfic clichés. It was written in response to the increasingly common clichés concerning Snape’s family life as a child, particularly the one-dimensional portrayals of his father as the Mad Dog Drunk and his mother as a silently-suffering saint, and has since been incorporated into our “Strange Bedfellows” canon.
Title: Debriefing
Author: Mrs. Hyde and das_mervin
Fandom: Once Upon a Time in Mexico/Harry Potter
Word Count: 5,055
Rating: R for language and (controlled) violence
Summary: A young Agent Sands in training is introduced to magic. A prequel fic to “Strange Bedfellows.”
Author’s Notes: Originally featured on das_mervin's livejournal. A fic exploring the idea we had about how and why Sands might know about magic, which has since been incorporated into our “Strange Bedfellows” canon.
Title: Dead Ends ( Part I of III) ( Part II of III) ( Part III of III)
Author: Mrs. Hyde and das_mervin
Fandom: Harry Potter/Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Word Count: 23,765
Rating: PG-13 for thematic elements and some language
Summary: Harry Potter searches for Snape. A companion fic to “Strange Bedfellows.”
Author’s Notes: Well, we’re sorry to say that you aren’t going to see Harry anymore. He went home when Sands told him to, and so the boys don’t hear from him again. But, with no more information on him, his little scene in Chapter 10 feels a bit like a loose end. So here we take a break from our fic to present to you a scene from the Director’s Cut of “Strange Bedfellows” that shows you how Harry Potter came to Culiacán and why he left.
Title: The Bravest Man
Author: Mrs. Hyde
Fandom: Harry Potter
Word Count: 2,650
Rating: PG for mention of making babies
Summary: “Albus Severus, you were named for two headmasters of Hogwarts.” The naming of Harry’s second son.
Author’s Notes: We were debating on whether or not to include this fic as part of our “Strange Bedfellows” collection, but after “Dead Ends,” we felt that poor Harry deserved some closure on the matter. However, this fic can also serve as a stand-alone. It was something of a sleeper hit in the post-DH fandom; originally written for the HMS STFU canon200, it has since been offered a place on GTReloaded, recced in the Checkmated forums and in multiple personal journals, and featured on crack_broom. It was conceived in part to address what we felt were a lot of misconceptions about why Harry chose the name that he did, with the hope of assuaging some of the general indignation that seems to prevail regarding Little Albus Severus. And so here we present to you the conclusion of Harry’s arc, both within our story and his own.
Title: Foul Play
Author: Mrs. Hyde
Fandom: Harry Potter/Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Word Count: 4,740
Rating: NC-17 for sexual content (SLASH)
Summary: Snape. Sands. Whiskey. Tequila. Sex.
Author’s Notes: It’s smut. We lie to ourselves that there’s a character study somewhere in there, but we all know we’re just in it for the pr0n.
Title: Domestic Tranquillity
Author: Mrs. Hyde
Fandom: Harry Potter/Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Word Count: 2,930
Rating: PG-13/R for language
Summary: Christmas in Culiacán nineteen years later.
Author’s Notes: Remember the little girl in the “Strange Bedfellows” epilogue? Here she is. Along with Little Sheldon Jeffrey-and their five siblings.
Title: Legacies
Author: Mrs. Hyde
Fandom: Harry Potter/Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Word Count: 2,750
Rating: PG for some schoolyard violence and a very nasty painting
Summary: Al Potter meets Isabel Santiago. And Isabel Santiago meets Headmaster Severus Snape.
Author’s Notes: Someone had to find out about Snape’s past somehow. And did you really think he’d let his little protégé go to school anywhere in Mexico? He hates that place.
Title: The Snape and Sands Song Drabbles
Author: das_mervin, with a guest appearance by Mrs. Hyde
Fandom: Harry Potter/Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Rating: PG-13/R for language and some sexual content
Summary: A collection of drabbles from the “Strange Bedfellows” universe, originally written for a song meme, writing one drabble for each of ten randomly selected songs. It obviously grew to more than ten songs, but it was still written for the same meme.
Author’s Notes: Some of you may have seen these before; a few that were spoiler-free were posted on das_mervin’s LJ a while back.
Title: Teacher’s Pet
Author: Mrs. Hyde
Fandom: Harry Potter/Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Word Count: 4,210
Rating: PG/PG-13 for hexing and a little language
Summary: Isabel comes home after her first year at Hogwarts
Author’s Notes: Isabel didn’t write to her uncle after she went to the Headmistress’s office-she didn’t know what to say. But she still wondered.
PPC Missions
Threshold
Eris Discordia