(no subject)
So in going with my growing frustration with pretty much everyone who is considered to be my 'friend' I've pretty much cut myself off from those people. My phone's been off pretty much all the time the last few days, haven't been talking to anyone on facebook, and haven't been returning messages.
Pat is the only one that's been leaving me messages telling me to call him and to be fair, I wasn't really mad at him initially, it wa smoreso Angela but as I was thinking I felt/feel like my friendships with them aren't what I really want out of a friendship? I don't know, it's hard to explain. I guess I have these expectations of how my friendships should be (And nothing too unreasonable I don't think, seeing as how I see plenty of people who have friendsihps like that) and my two best friends don't live up to it.
I mean, Angela never calls me anymore and when she does it's usually just to talka bout whatever plans we have to go out (which are few and far between nowadays) and the same goes for Pat. What I want is to actually have that extremely close friendship of talking to each other everyday and hanging out all the time like I used to have with Angela and Liz when we first became friends. Of course I'll probably end up having a conversation with them about this but as of right now I'm not going to be the one to initiate contact.
Not to mention my oldest friend Katie whom I've known since 2nd grade and who is also going to Brown with me this fall has apparently been hanging out with someone who I despise and who pretty much treated me like shit for the past year even though she claimed she never would do that to me. Last time I saw her was ADOCH (Which was the visit for accepted students back in April) and we live in the same town. Seeing pictures of her and him hanging out infuriate me and it kinda hurts but not really. I thought that we were close and I figured once we get to school we would be, but not anymore. I'm not even going to try and talk to her.
Ugh, I just want to start school already and meet tons of new people and make new friends! You know the song "Wake Me Up When September Ends?" My version is more like Wake Me Up When September Begins! It seems like all the distraught emotions I have with my life will be fixed by then because I'll finally be where I've wanted to be since I started high school.
Pat is the only one that's been leaving me messages telling me to call him and to be fair, I wasn't really mad at him initially, it wa smoreso Angela but as I was thinking I felt/feel like my friendships with them aren't what I really want out of a friendship? I don't know, it's hard to explain. I guess I have these expectations of how my friendships should be (And nothing too unreasonable I don't think, seeing as how I see plenty of people who have friendsihps like that) and my two best friends don't live up to it.
I mean, Angela never calls me anymore and when she does it's usually just to talka bout whatever plans we have to go out (which are few and far between nowadays) and the same goes for Pat. What I want is to actually have that extremely close friendship of talking to each other everyday and hanging out all the time like I used to have with Angela and Liz when we first became friends. Of course I'll probably end up having a conversation with them about this but as of right now I'm not going to be the one to initiate contact.
Not to mention my oldest friend Katie whom I've known since 2nd grade and who is also going to Brown with me this fall has apparently been hanging out with someone who I despise and who pretty much treated me like shit for the past year even though she claimed she never would do that to me. Last time I saw her was ADOCH (Which was the visit for accepted students back in April) and we live in the same town. Seeing pictures of her and him hanging out infuriate me and it kinda hurts but not really. I thought that we were close and I figured once we get to school we would be, but not anymore. I'm not even going to try and talk to her.
Ugh, I just want to start school already and meet tons of new people and make new friends! You know the song "Wake Me Up When September Ends?" My version is more like Wake Me Up When September Begins! It seems like all the distraught emotions I have with my life will be fixed by then because I'll finally be where I've wanted to be since I started high school.