(no subject)
Blah...I swear life just keeps getting shitter...last night Mike broke up with me...I am not sure if we are really done because I still have yet to talk to him today...I went out with Maris today and we got her pay check...then went to Shaler to get our Kennywood tickets...then came over to my house and smoked...and watched movies until she had to go to work...I have been bored all day...I hate sitting here by myself...someone should rescue me...I need that badly...sitting here thinking about this whole Mike situation is sickening me because I know in my heart I love him but then I don't really know if I should keep trying to make this work...obviously its not what we want in a relationship..we both have changed and for the worse..but I mean I know I will always love him no matter what...and that no one can ever replace him...but maybe I should move on? I don't know anymore...I really don't...I don't have a lot of people to talk to about this because most people haven't been in LOVE and I am in LOVE...but somethings not right and I can't fix it obviously so I am pissed and torn...and I keep tearing myself apart...blah...I keep trying to sleep because I know that I am tired...but this is all making me upset and I find myself every 10 minutes in the bathroom smoking another cigarette....this suxs...leave me some love...I NEED IT!!