(no subject)
Let's set the record straight...since everyone thinks I am starting petty shit...I am not mad at anyone...So stop thinking everytime I write someone its because of something that you did. I wrote that entry yesterday not thinking you guys would all blow it out of proportion so obviously I need to straighten some of this shit out...When I wrote that entry yesterday was because I am upset and pissed off that everytime I check this damn thing its Amanda saying how we tried to be friends and hold it together but I guess that just didn't work out...well Amanda you never gave it another chance...everytime I hung out with you it wasn't you...well atleast not the Amanda I have known..so when I write entries like these its not to intentionally piss off anyone...its me hurting in fuckin side because I feel like I have not one friend in the world except for Mike...and that great and all but I need friends who understand me and can talk about just the little shit...and no one has been there for me lately other than Mike and Maris...and you guys are supposedly all suppose to be my best friends...so if you were you wouldn't sit around writing stupid fuckin livejournals about me and make me feel like shit and then figure I am just going to be peachy fuckin keen...because I am not...all Saturday I sat in bed and just fuckin cried and why the fuck do you ask that I cried?...I cried because all this petty bullshit makes me fuckin go insane...I have been feeling pretty fuckin shitty about my Gramma lately...fuckin everything just lingers on inside me until there is no where else for it to go and it all just builds up...and I have an emotional fuckin breakdown kind of like the one I am having right now...you guys may think I am being childish or whatever but I am not going to sit here and let people keep bringing me down cuz this is all just making me want to do something pretty fuckin stupid...I am not going to call any of you guys to try to explain my story because obviously you don't want to hear it so its not worth me talking about...now see I can't control my fuckin anger...I am pissed, stressed, depressed, and just an emotional fuckin rollercoaster...
And about the comment about just sitting down like adults and trying to figure this shit out together...well that would have been the right move now wouldn't it have...so why didn't anyone get up off there asses instead of playing "high school games" and try to fix it...If you guys cared so much then maybe you would have called me like a good friend and seen maybe for once if something happened to me...and you know what the only call the only fuckin single call i got Saturday was Autumn..and she invited me over to TALK things out...and I felt so much better just knowing I had one of my friends to talk something out with...it felt great. but then I come back to these journals and people talk so much about what we should do to help our friendship and no one does it...no one goes and trys to have an adult conversation...everyone just thinks the other person should start it...then both think that way and no one ever comes out with what they feel...and thats what we need is for some one to just come out and say what they feel...and thats what I am saying in here...this is a never ending drama between us so if we don't try to fix this differently then we have been then forget all of our friendships because they will all be gone...look at me and Amanda for example...I get fiance she gets new boyfriend now both people don't see each other the same...one tries the other just blames the one...and we have this...a meaningless fuckin fight that has fuckin pretty much killed a great friendship....
I don't want to lose friends over shit like this , but guys this is what needed to be said...and I think if you guys are going to get upset over this shit then you don't understand what I am saying and I guess we will never have the same friendships we had. this journal entry was just to express my feelings and take some of the stress of my back...because I can't carry all this shit anymore its getting old and I am getting weak and I just can't be doing it.
So if you guys are serious about having a talk and I mean a serious fuckin talk...no Mike or Arron then let me know...because I have a few things to say plus maybe recommend to help our frienships...but this is all up to you guys you can forgive me for something that you guys don't know the whole story about or just let all this anger keep us all from being friends.
And about the comment about just sitting down like adults and trying to figure this shit out together...well that would have been the right move now wouldn't it have...so why didn't anyone get up off there asses instead of playing "high school games" and try to fix it...If you guys cared so much then maybe you would have called me like a good friend and seen maybe for once if something happened to me...and you know what the only call the only fuckin single call i got Saturday was Autumn..and she invited me over to TALK things out...and I felt so much better just knowing I had one of my friends to talk something out with...it felt great. but then I come back to these journals and people talk so much about what we should do to help our friendship and no one does it...no one goes and trys to have an adult conversation...everyone just thinks the other person should start it...then both think that way and no one ever comes out with what they feel...and thats what we need is for some one to just come out and say what they feel...and thats what I am saying in here...this is a never ending drama between us so if we don't try to fix this differently then we have been then forget all of our friendships because they will all be gone...look at me and Amanda for example...I get fiance she gets new boyfriend now both people don't see each other the same...one tries the other just blames the one...and we have this...a meaningless fuckin fight that has fuckin pretty much killed a great friendship....
I don't want to lose friends over shit like this , but guys this is what needed to be said...and I think if you guys are going to get upset over this shit then you don't understand what I am saying and I guess we will never have the same friendships we had. this journal entry was just to express my feelings and take some of the stress of my back...because I can't carry all this shit anymore its getting old and I am getting weak and I just can't be doing it.
So if you guys are serious about having a talk and I mean a serious fuckin talk...no Mike or Arron then let me know...because I have a few things to say plus maybe recommend to help our frienships...but this is all up to you guys you can forgive me for something that you guys don't know the whole story about or just let all this anger keep us all from being friends.