on sabbatical
Hey folks. It's been awhile, I know. Between broken girlparts, a broken bank account, and a broken heart, I haven't had much to write about that would have been worth reading, so I just spared you and went AWOL for a time. Life is on the mend in many ways, however, although that may also just be a mental illusion caused by the rare phenomena of sunshine on Seattle today.
1.) Polyamory is on the shelf for awhile. That little game requires tiptop mental health and relationship stability to be played well, and neither of us have it right now. I imagine it will be returned to sooner rather than later, but a break was in order.
3.) I was told I tested positive for a rather common STD two weeks ago. (Go ahead, say "I told you so." Some of you might be dying to do so.) Anyway, I put my little sexually-informed-and-responsible hat on and called up all of my partners for the past two months (remember, the sex party occurred during this time, the number was high) to hold awkward conversations with them about needing to get tested, what to look for, etc., etc. Once all that was done, my doctor informed me I did not actually have the STD, just something that was microscopically similar to it. Fabulous. Fucking fabulous. So now I am really good at difficult phone calls and disease-free to boot.
4.) The doctor wants to turn my vagina into a kangaroo. The surgery I had in January was unsuccessful and the second line of defense from this recurring cyst problem is to do what's referred to as "marsupialization." Christ on a cracker! Are they going to make me a built in coin purse down there?! Apparently it's simple day-surgery and won't affect sexual functioning once it's healed, but lord, it sounds so very freakshow.
5.) A word of advice to all the ladies-who-fuck-boys on my friends list: If you have not yet considered strapping it on and pegging your man through the back door, I highly recommend it. Wait, this is going to require a post all its own. Indeed.
1.) Polyamory is on the shelf for awhile. That little game requires tiptop mental health and relationship stability to be played well, and neither of us have it right now. I imagine it will be returned to sooner rather than later, but a break was in order.
3.) I was told I tested positive for a rather common STD two weeks ago. (Go ahead, say "I told you so." Some of you might be dying to do so.) Anyway, I put my little sexually-informed-and-responsible hat on and called up all of my partners for the past two months (remember, the sex party occurred during this time, the number was high) to hold awkward conversations with them about needing to get tested, what to look for, etc., etc. Once all that was done, my doctor informed me I did not actually have the STD, just something that was microscopically similar to it. Fabulous. Fucking fabulous. So now I am really good at difficult phone calls and disease-free to boot.
4.) The doctor wants to turn my vagina into a kangaroo. The surgery I had in January was unsuccessful and the second line of defense from this recurring cyst problem is to do what's referred to as "marsupialization." Christ on a cracker! Are they going to make me a built in coin purse down there?! Apparently it's simple day-surgery and won't affect sexual functioning once it's healed, but lord, it sounds so very freakshow.
5.) A word of advice to all the ladies-who-fuck-boys on my friends list: If you have not yet considered strapping it on and pegging your man through the back door, I highly recommend it. Wait, this is going to require a post all its own. Indeed.