Definition: Sex Positive
Sometimes we incorporate words into our vocabulary without really grasping the true spirit and meaning behind them. It's happened to me before. Most recently and profoundly I realized I had been spouting off about sex positive this and sex positive that for some time now and I had really no clue how powerful the term was or how inappropriately I was was using it. I think I thought of sex positive as loosely meaning "stuff that doesn't creep me out." What I failed to consider was how terribly subjective that was, how much it said about me that I actually was creeped out by plenty of sexual materials and subjects, and how much fear and negativity I had come to associate with sex.
It's been quite a journey since then, but I don't think sex positive really came together for me until I read Carol Queen's Real Live Nude Girl. I wasn't prepared to read about men jerking off to rape and incest fantasies that Carol herself was party to and actually enacted to the tune of spurting orgasms and blissful relief. I wasn't prepared that a woman who did this could love her job and see her work as a kind of healing art.
But, my god, it is.
I heard Carol speak and perform at the Building Bridges Conference this weekend in Bellevue. She told stories from her days working at the Lusty Lady in San Francisco with such humor, compassion, and respect that it was hard not to look at her as some kind of sexual priestess, a merciful goddess sent down to heal the broken by the power of the throbbing cock. Do not miss the chance to see her perform "Peep Show" if the opportunity arises.
It's taken me a while but I think I'm finally getting it. Sex positive. As in, sex is positive. As in, working toward a positive relationship between myself (or yourself) and sex. As in, Amen and Hallelujah. Free at last.
It's been quite a journey since then, but I don't think sex positive really came together for me until I read Carol Queen's Real Live Nude Girl. I wasn't prepared to read about men jerking off to rape and incest fantasies that Carol herself was party to and actually enacted to the tune of spurting orgasms and blissful relief. I wasn't prepared that a woman who did this could love her job and see her work as a kind of healing art.
But, my god, it is.
I heard Carol speak and perform at the Building Bridges Conference this weekend in Bellevue. She told stories from her days working at the Lusty Lady in San Francisco with such humor, compassion, and respect that it was hard not to look at her as some kind of sexual priestess, a merciful goddess sent down to heal the broken by the power of the throbbing cock. Do not miss the chance to see her perform "Peep Show" if the opportunity arises.
It's taken me a while but I think I'm finally getting it. Sex positive. As in, sex is positive. As in, working toward a positive relationship between myself (or yourself) and sex. As in, Amen and Hallelujah. Free at last.