fratboy 'verse: 9/9 *complete*
Holy shit, it's done! *wipes brow*
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Title: 'til you’re old enough to know things ain't as they appear [9/9]
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 overall | graphic m/m sex, real person fiction, spanking, rimming, delayed orgasm, and various other kinks.
Word Count: 3,913 [this part]
Summary: Jensen dives into the seedy underbelly of Pledge Week at UT for a news article and gets more than he bargained for. Completely cliché and totally AU, but y’know, it could’ve happened. If the universe was, like, alternate.
Notes: This story’s going to be told in a non-linear fashion, therefore things will not unfold chronologically. So basically, pay attention to the timeframe at the beginning of each section, and you’ll be able to follow along just fine. You don’t need to know everything that’s going on just yet.
Also, this is all fiction. I've never been in a fraternity, obviously, so I apologize for any inconsistencies herein. *hugs*
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8
'til you’re old enough to know things ain't as they appear: Part 9.
By keepaofthecheez.
Previously:
“I’m sorry, I just thought…I just wanted to...” Jensen cuts himself off, bites his tongue. Tries again, low, fervent tone. “It was never about you.”
Jared’s wince is theatrical, voice a bitter pill for Jensen to swallow. “Well, I feel better.”
“Jared, c’mon. Just let me explain, okay?” Jensen reaches out, afraid to touch but more afraid that Jared will slip away.
Jared smiles at him, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He drops his big hand on Jensen’s arm, and his words feel like a goodbye. “Congratulations, Jensen. You’ve finally earned the name of Delta.”
And now:
University of Texas.
Office: The Daily Texan
One Week After It All Goes Down.
Of course, the irony of the situation is that Jared’s right: Jensen actually does become a Delta Sigma Pi when all is said and done. He could’ve walked away at any time after the news article fiasco, and a part of him wanted to. But days pass and instead of shunning what he’d once fought so hard against, he finds himself being initiated into Greek Life, renegotiating his apartment lease, and sleeping in Jared’s now empty bed every night.
Maybe it’s just knowing that eventually Jared would have to come back, pick up his stuff and officially move out of Delta House. And when he did, Jensen wanted to be there. Call it a need for closure, pure desperation, whatever…but things weren’t gonna end the way they had in the Journalism building. There’s more to it all, hell, there’s more to them and Jensen finally feels like he’s in a place to do something about it.
Of course, he’s gotta find Jared first, which is proving pretty damn difficult for a guy who could give a friggin’ Redwood a run for its money. He’s sure as hell not answering Jensen’s calls anyway, and it’s more than a bit irritating to realize he has no clue what Jared’s schedule even is outside of the Deltas. Just another reminder of how quick they’d gotten into this mess, but it only further cements Jensen’s stubborn streak.
He thinks back on how he’d actually broken down and gone to Chad that morning, how tight-lipped and dismissive Jared’s best friend had been even though he and Jensen had formed a shaky truce since Jensen’s official initiation into the Deltas, and his jaw goes tight as he leans against his work station.
He’s still got a long way to go.
The sight of his empty desk only gives him a small pang, regret a fleeting flavor on his tongue, and then he hefts the box in his hands. Turns and nearly runs right into Mike. “Oh. Hey.”
Mike doesn’t even try to hide how much Jensen’s decision bothers him, lips a flat line of disapproval. “I can’t believe you’re doing this.”
Yeah, Jensen can barely believe it himself.
When he doesn’t answer right away, Mike comes closer, voice going harder. “So what, you’re just gonna quit…give up? Go be what you fucking fought against, Jensen?”
“I don’t think of it as giving up,” Jensen says easily, and wonders when pissing Michael off became something of a sport. Because it is kind of hilarious, that twitch his friend gets behind his eye whenever he’s close to losing it. Jensen’s used to steering clear, knowing all too well about Mike’s short temper, but now it’s so hardly even a concern.
But Michael doesn’t get angry. All at once, he just sort of deflates…eyeing Jensen with more softness than Jensen’s ever really seen from go-get-em Rosenbaum. “All you’ve ever wanted to be is a journalist, Jensen. This was your chance. What’s left now?”
“Everything.” Jensen grins at the confusion in Michael’s eyes, sees a part of himself he’s finally exorcized, and can’t help but forgive his friend then and there. “Hell, someone once told me I’ve got the magic touch…maybe I’ll concentrate on that PT degree after all.”
“So you’re gonna give up your dream, just like that.” Michael snaps his fingers, sarcasm back and thick as the winter fog outside.
Jensen’s smile fades, but the quiet confidence remains. “Dreams change.”
“People change,” Michael counters, but there’s not any heat behind the words. Just careful interest, and Jensen feels a stupid flush working its way up his cheeks, can’t quite look at him until Mike makes a rough sound and turns away to fiddle with something on Allie’s desk.
“Yeah, they do.” Jensen thinks of smiling hazel eyes, big hands and soft lips. Thank god they do. “Tell me something, Mike.” He clears his throat, waiting for his former boss to turn back around. Jensen shifts his weight, chewing his lip. “If you knew Christian was just gonna turn around and sell you out, why the hell’d you put him in there to begin with?”
It was one of the many things he’d wondered since the news article came to light, and though Chris had come clean and cleared up a few niggling details on Jensen’s mind, he’d left plenty more blurry and unsaid. Jensen isn’t all that surprised, figures it’ll take a bit longer to get the fraternity president to trust him after everything that’s gone down, but it’s a start.
There’s a few beats of silence, and then Mike’s jaw works. “I didn’t. Chris had something of his own to prove…my mistake was getting interested in it to begin with. Never was able to let go of a story, Jensen. You know that.”
It’s pretty much what he’d expected, and not nearly enough of an answer. “And I was hungry to jump right in. Yeah, I get it. Just a story.”
Something of an apology lurks behind Mike’s eyes, but Jensen knows better than to push, to expect anything from it. His friend’s more of a reporter than Jensen ever was, ruthless when he needs to be, and Jensen wonders how he ever thought he could be the same.
He takes a deep breath, fingers tightening around the box, and offers a smile. “Good luck, Michael.”
“Jensen--” Michael cuts himself off, scratches at his head, then thrusts out a hand. “Good luck to you, too.” It’s sincere, and Jensen clasps his palm. Says goodbye, to all of it.
It’s wet and soggy when he steps outside, courtesy of a surprise shower in a state that sure needs it, and he gives half a thought of thanks that he’d parked close to the side of the building. Tosses his stuff in the backseat, and peels out of the parking lot.
He catches glimpses of students rushing between classes, books held over their heads and laughter on their faces. Finds himself unconsciously searching out shaggy hair and long legs, then turns up the radio in a bout of frustration. Bob Seger sings in the background, and Jensen hears Tom’s voice in his head.
Everything’s not black and white, Jensen. It’s fuck all in the end. Those guys are there for each other and this school and you’re looking at one week out of a year.
Turns out, Tom was smarter than Jensen’d ever given him credit for.
By the time he gets to Delta House, there’s a gathering of black clouds overhead and Jensen runs inside before getting caught in the downpour. He gets a few waves and calls as he passes by the common room, throws them all an absent salute and makes for the staircase. Right now, a dark room and a nap is sounding pretty damn good.
His door’s cracked open, lights on, and he slows down. Stares at it while something hot and hopeful flashes through his veins. It’s probably just Chad, gone in to find something of Jared’s, but Jensen’s somehow turned into a goddamn optimist along the way and just can’t let the idea go. He shoves the door open.
And Jared’s there, waiting, sitting on the bed with his hands clasped between his legs and his knee bouncing. Jensen shuts the door after him, nearly choking on his relief, and Jared looks up.
“Jared, I…” Now that it’s happening, now that Jared’s here, Jensen doesn’t know what the hell to say. “I know how this must look,” he settles for, feeling so lame, and Jared’s lips curve just a little.
“Do you?” is all he says, easy and so casual that Jensen’s head hurts. “Huh.” He comes to his feet, walks over to stare out the window. “Coming down pretty hard out there.”
“Yeah, it is.” The conversation’s a frustrating struggle for Jensen not to throw himself down at Jared’s feet and beg. “Look, Jay--”
“Oh, sorry, I probably should’ve called…” Jared sounds uncomfortable, like he’s the one who shouldn’t be there, and Jensen gapes at him. “I won’t be long, just came to, you know. Get my shit and get out.”
A bit of bitterness coats those last few words, but none of it’s aimed at the right source: Jensen. Like it should be. He opens his mouth to say just that, but Jared barrels on.
“I came by the Texan a few days back…talked to your friend Allison? She’s, uh, something else.” Jared smiles, and goddamn, Jensen loves him so much it physically hurts. “Just wanted to…” Jared trails off, shrugs his shoulders and won’t meet Jensen’s eye. Laughs a bit unsteadily. “Anyway, she put me through the wringer.”
“She can be a bit hostile on occasion,” Jensen manages, low and gruff, and why isn’t Jared close enough that he can grab on? “She’s a good friend, though. Always has your back.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t know.” It’s a brutal hit. Jensen feels the impact, blinks, mouth quivering into a frown even as Jared keeps right on smiling. That nervous tension is back though, and scoring his features. “Look, I’m not real good at the stall tactics, so I’ll just get on to it.” He breathes deep, and Jensen’s pulse is pounding hard enough to rival the outside thunder. “I’m sorry, Jen. For all of it. I never should’ve…everything just…” He trails off, looking pained. “Anyway, I just wanted you to know that. I’m sorry, and--”
“Dude, what the hell?” It comes out before Jensen can think better of it, and suddenly he wants to strangle the fucking idiot as much as he wants to lick up and under that hard jaw until he tastes Jared’s frown. He welcomes the burst of raw anger, soaks it up. “I’m a grown man, if I hadn’t wanted it, I’d’ve stopped you.”
“Not if it helped with the article.” Jared’s voice is soft, matter-of-fact. And somehow louder than a shout. “Every time I touched you, every…every time you let me, it was for. Christ it was all for the paper and--”
“Hey, fuck that,” Jensen interrupts quickly, breath heavy and panicked. “Fuck that, Jay.”
For the first time, Jared looks mutinous, angry. Ragged. He throws his arms around, a sure sign of how upset he really us, and the crack in his voice shudders down Jensen’s spine like broken glass. “What the hell’m I supposed to think, man? Allie, she explained it all to me. I get it, okay? I get you were trying to save him or whatever. Just let me apologize and get out, Jensen. Please. Just let me.”
Jensen’s mind’s spinning around. He understands Jared’s words, but doesn’t all at the same time. It all seems so long ago, his motives and purposes and, all of it. He’s across the room before he can suck in a breath, Jared’s face between his hands and determination on his tongue. “It wasn’t Tom I was trying to save by the end, Jared. Not Tom. Do you get that?”
Lightning streaks outside the window, illuminating Jared’s hurt, confused expression. Jensen knows he’s digging in too hard, knuckles white, but he can’t ease up. Not until Jared fucking says something.
The moment of silence drags on way too long, and then Jared clears his throat. Reaches up for Jensen’s wrists and pulls them away, tightening his grip so hard that for a minute Jensen sees flashes of broken fingers and weeks of recovery.
Then, “I wasn’t lookin’ for a fuckin’ Savior, Jensen! I was just lookin’ for you.” Jared lets go abruptly, sucks in a breath, and turns away. He grabs something off the bed, some small remnant of his stay in Delta Sigma, and shoulders past Jensen without another word.
Jensen’s stunned still, hears a few shouted “Yo, Beast! Where you been, man?”s as Jared walks down the hallway, but by the time he makes it out there, the only one standing around is Chad. Jared’s friend watches him for a long moment, chewing on an apple and maybe understanding Jensen a little too well.
“Well, now you know why they call him that,” he says, and Jensen walks back in his room and slams the door.
Jared doesn’t visit the Deltas again, not that Jensen’s really expecting him to. Jensen sees him once a few weeks later, coming out of the gym in basketball shorts and short sleeves. Tousled and sweaty, and they lock eyes for all of a second before a car zooms by. When Jensen looks again, Jared’s walking away, and ain’t that just the punctuation mark on it all.
“Dude,” Steve says several nights later, slapping Jensen across the thigh with a wet rag. “Go out and get laid before you make me depressed. You can’t afford my therapy bills.”
Jensen blinks, coming out of a nice daze involving a spot on the wall that he’s decided is a dead ringer for David Duchovny. “Huh?” Steve’s sigh could blow over a building, and Jensen blushes a bit on realizing he’s been moping all night. “Sorry, man, I just…m’not feeling myself lately, I guess.”
“I told you this was all a bad idea.” But there’s less accusation than concern in his friend’s voice, and Jensen nods absently. “Look, you need to go home? Get yourself sorted out?”
Jensen seriously considers it for a moment, then realizes he’d just wind up spending the time pining over Jared in Jared’s bed and that’s just, no. “I’m good,” he says, clearing his throat and forcing a smile that doesn’t fool Steve for a second. But his friend doesn’t call him on it, just tosses him a menu and nods toward a dark corner in the bar.
“Well, someone’s been checking you out all night. Go for it, will ya? Turn that frown upside down.”
Jensen grimaces a little at the idea of having to turn down some stranger, then glances over. He has to look twice through the smoke and dim light, but his heart’s already clawing up his throat as he walks over. “What the hell are you doin’ here?” he chokes out, fingers curling into fists when Jared just slants him a carelessly blank look. Like he could give a damn that Jensen’s here, that he’s fucking breaking Jensen in two by showing up and not wanting him back.
Jared just leans back in his chair, legs sprawled out and lips curled up at the edges. “I’m pining, lost without you,” he says, deadpanned but with something sparkling in his eyes that Jensen hasn’t seen for way too long.
“You’re…” Jensen grits his teeth together. “I’m sure you’ll get over it.”
“Better luck getting rid of my name on your ass.” And there it is, that mischievous smile Jensen loves and hates. It takes a few seconds for Jared’s words to sink in, and then Jensen frowns in obvious confusion. Jared cocks his head, now pulling on his lower lip with two fingers and Jensen’s gaze drops, he sways forward a little. “You never looked at that tattoo, did ya?”
Jensen snaps straight, cheeks hot and dick much too interested. “The hell are you talkin’ about?”
Jared throws his head back, laughs loud enough to bring the house down, and Jensen sees Steve glance their way. Finally Jared quiets down some, though his expression doesn’t dim. He leans forward, crooking a finger expectantly. “Hey, don’t worry…I got one, too.”
“Yeah? Where?” Jensen jokes despite the fact that he still has no fucking idea what’s going on. Although judging by the way Jared’s acting, maybe he should stop overthinking and just thank god for small favors.
Jared’s voice takes a turn for sly, his fingers wrapping around Jensen’s wrist. “Can’t show you here.”
Jensen suddenly finds himself eye-to-eye with Jared, and licks his lips unconsciously. “Jay. What’re you, what’s this all about?” he gets out, low and thrumming, because hell…he’s gotta know. “Five minutes ago you weren’t even speaking to me, and now.”
“And now I am,” Jared says, like that’s the end of it. Jensen feels a flash of frustration, and then Jared tugs him closer. “M’sorry, I just.” His throat works, a soft laugh escaping through. “I guess Beauty really did tame the Beast, because fuck Jen…I can’t go on. M’serious. Lost without you, and I need you to kiss me, make it all better.”
“You’re the cheesy Disney princess, Jay.” But Jensen’s smiling and the headache that’s been brewing behind his eyes for weeks suddenly vanishes.
“Damn straight. And now you gotta kiss me, so I turn back into a handsome prince and you get your voice back and get to keep your legs, and we slurp on the same spaghetti noodle and live happily ever after.”
Jensen shakes his head, rubbing his thumb across Jared’s hand and snorting soft amusement. “Uh, I’m pretty sure that’s not how that one ends.”
Jared pauses in his pouting to roll his eyes. “Dude, they all end like that.” He shifts, closing his legs around Jensen’s and dragging his heels together until Jensen’s forced into the circle of his hips.
“Fair enough,” Jensen gets out around a voice and tongue gone thick. He licks his lips, shooting a look over his shoulder to find Steve just looking away, a smile hovering on his mouth. He turns back to Jared with hope for the first time in a month.
“Look, have some coffee with me,” Jared says, all traces of humor gone from his voice and expression. “I know it’s cliché, but. I wanna talk. Can we talk?”
“I’m working,” Jensen sighs, wishing he’d taken Steve up on that night off after all. Then he realizes it probably sounds like a dismissal when Jared’s smile falters, and opens his mouth again.
But Jared’s just nodding, then leans over and whistles toward Steve. Before Jensen has a chance to react, Jared’s all smiles and aw-shucks tone. “Excuse me, but would ya mind firing this guy so he’ll have a cup of coffee with me? Cut me a break here, man.”
Jensen huffs out a laugh, and Steve grins. “Sure thing. Jen, you’re fired. Stella here’s gonna take your place starting Monday, aren’t you darlin’?” He wiggles his brows to a shapely redhead sitting at the bar, then shoots Jensen a meaningful look. “Case that wasn’t clear enough, get the hell outta here and get some.”
“Jesus!” But Jared’s already tugging him out the door. “I oughta smack you both for that,” Jensen says, not a hint of anger in his voice. Especially not when Jared shoves him up against the wall outside, gets up close and breathes him in.
“Why don’tcha just spank me instead?” Jared’s grin glitters in the lamppost light, and then he reaches around and finds Jensen’s ass with big hands. Nuzzles Jensen’s neck, soft sounds and warm breath. “Fuck Jen…miss me?”
“Oh, you go somewhere?” Jensen tries for some shred of dignity, but crumbles the second Jared’s tongue finds his pulse. His breath goes shaky, hands catching lean hips and pulling close. “Damn it, Jared, you know I fucking did.”
“Wanna get inside you, you inside me.” Jared grinds down, lets Jensen feel just how truthful the statement is. “Been too long, felt like a walking hard-on.”
“Got a nice big bed.” Jensen catches his mouth, finally gets a good taste. Against Jared’s lips he adds, “Wanna come home with me?”
Jared looks down at him through heavy lids. “You want me there?”
The raw insecurity plastered across his face is Jensen’s undoing; he murmurs Jared’s name and laughs. “Dude, it was yours first. Fuck you, and come on home.”
“With you?” Jared’s voice is steady, but it’s definitely a question. Jensen gets what this is about, and the answer is all too easy.
“You’re not getting rid of me now. Sorry.” He nips Jared’s earlobe, palms his ass. “’Fraid you got me liking those Greek assholes, too, and now you’re all stuck with me. Got a tattoo on my ass says so, even.”
“Yeah, about that…” Jared clears his throat, mutters a husky oath when Jensen’s fingers find their way around to the front of his pants. “You, uh, you really oughta look in the mirror once in awhile.”
“What’d you do to me?” Jensen whispers, and he means it in more ways than Jared’ll ever comprehend.
“Made you mine.” Jared grins, drops his forehead to Jensen’s. “Or did ya think my name’s on all the Delta Sigma crests?”
“Well, son of a bitch.”
Jared laughs, then laughs louder, and drops another kiss on Jensen’s mouth. “Come on, Beauty. Let’s go on home then, and I’ll let ya spank me for real. I’ve been a bad, bad boy.”
Yeah, Jensen thinks, following Jared out to his car with a grin on his face. I love you, too.
xxx
University of Texas.
The Cactus Café.
Seven Days Before Pledge Week.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you when this all blows up in your face.”
Jensen ignores Steve’s prediction as he’s been doing since he made his Delta Sigma announcement, and wipes the counter down with wet cloth. “So, after I take those Greek assholes down, I’m gonna graduate and get a job at Channel 6. Maybe I’ll even pretend I know you, get some publicity for this joint.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Steve mutters, shouldering Jensen into the wall as he passes by. “Just be careful what you wish for. Things have a way of working out different.”
“Not my things,” Jensen says easily, and meets Steve’s raised brows with two of his own.
“Excuse me.” A deep voice catches Jensen’s attention, and he glances up…and up, and up. It’s so dark in the room he can’t quite make the guy’s features out, but for some reason he just knows it’d be worth the effort.
“What can I do for you?” Harmless and easy, and he shouldn’t be flirting without making sure it’d be well-received, but it’s a slow night and he’s bored as all hell.
A hand slides half-across the counter, and Jensen notes the long, lean fingers. Swallows a little, because goddamn. It’s been awhile since he last hooked up, and even longer since he and Tom broke it off. Jensen’s missed big hands, and these look even better.
As if he knows exactly what Jensen’s dirty mind is imagining, the guy smirks. Jensen catches sight of a flash of amusement under the ballcap pulled down low over the guy’s head, and then he’s leaning closer. “I’ll let you know when I figure it out.” Voice a tease that sets Jensen’s blood on fire and has him shifting on his feet behind the bar to hide the sudden growth in his pants.
The guy finally pulls his hand away, and Jensen stares down at the dollar bills left behind. When he looks back up, the guy’s gone back to his table, laughing out loud and clapping one of his friends on the back. He glances over just once, and the brightness of that smile is something Jensen’s pretty sure he’s gonna be jerking off to for days, and he hasn’t even gotten a good look at the guy’s face.
Steve walks by, tsking under his breath about slutty employees, and Jensen just grins.
Different or not, he’s got a feeling things are gonna work out just fine.
xxx
Epilogue.
[click images to read]
Find more Jared and Jensen fratboy goodies here!
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Title: 'til you’re old enough to know things ain't as they appear [9/9]
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 overall | graphic m/m sex, real person fiction, spanking, rimming, delayed orgasm, and various other kinks.
Word Count: 3,913 [this part]
Summary: Jensen dives into the seedy underbelly of Pledge Week at UT for a news article and gets more than he bargained for. Completely cliché and totally AU, but y’know, it could’ve happened. If the universe was, like, alternate.
Notes: This story’s going to be told in a non-linear fashion, therefore things will not unfold chronologically. So basically, pay attention to the timeframe at the beginning of each section, and you’ll be able to follow along just fine. You don’t need to know everything that’s going on just yet.
Also, this is all fiction. I've never been in a fraternity, obviously, so I apologize for any inconsistencies herein. *hugs*
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8
'til you’re old enough to know things ain't as they appear: Part 9.
By keepaofthecheez.
Previously:
“I’m sorry, I just thought…I just wanted to...” Jensen cuts himself off, bites his tongue. Tries again, low, fervent tone. “It was never about you.”
Jared’s wince is theatrical, voice a bitter pill for Jensen to swallow. “Well, I feel better.”
“Jared, c’mon. Just let me explain, okay?” Jensen reaches out, afraid to touch but more afraid that Jared will slip away.
Jared smiles at him, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He drops his big hand on Jensen’s arm, and his words feel like a goodbye. “Congratulations, Jensen. You’ve finally earned the name of Delta.”
And now:
University of Texas.
Office: The Daily Texan
One Week After It All Goes Down.
Of course, the irony of the situation is that Jared’s right: Jensen actually does become a Delta Sigma Pi when all is said and done. He could’ve walked away at any time after the news article fiasco, and a part of him wanted to. But days pass and instead of shunning what he’d once fought so hard against, he finds himself being initiated into Greek Life, renegotiating his apartment lease, and sleeping in Jared’s now empty bed every night.
Maybe it’s just knowing that eventually Jared would have to come back, pick up his stuff and officially move out of Delta House. And when he did, Jensen wanted to be there. Call it a need for closure, pure desperation, whatever…but things weren’t gonna end the way they had in the Journalism building. There’s more to it all, hell, there’s more to them and Jensen finally feels like he’s in a place to do something about it.
Of course, he’s gotta find Jared first, which is proving pretty damn difficult for a guy who could give a friggin’ Redwood a run for its money. He’s sure as hell not answering Jensen’s calls anyway, and it’s more than a bit irritating to realize he has no clue what Jared’s schedule even is outside of the Deltas. Just another reminder of how quick they’d gotten into this mess, but it only further cements Jensen’s stubborn streak.
He thinks back on how he’d actually broken down and gone to Chad that morning, how tight-lipped and dismissive Jared’s best friend had been even though he and Jensen had formed a shaky truce since Jensen’s official initiation into the Deltas, and his jaw goes tight as he leans against his work station.
He’s still got a long way to go.
The sight of his empty desk only gives him a small pang, regret a fleeting flavor on his tongue, and then he hefts the box in his hands. Turns and nearly runs right into Mike. “Oh. Hey.”
Mike doesn’t even try to hide how much Jensen’s decision bothers him, lips a flat line of disapproval. “I can’t believe you’re doing this.”
Yeah, Jensen can barely believe it himself.
When he doesn’t answer right away, Mike comes closer, voice going harder. “So what, you’re just gonna quit…give up? Go be what you fucking fought against, Jensen?”
“I don’t think of it as giving up,” Jensen says easily, and wonders when pissing Michael off became something of a sport. Because it is kind of hilarious, that twitch his friend gets behind his eye whenever he’s close to losing it. Jensen’s used to steering clear, knowing all too well about Mike’s short temper, but now it’s so hardly even a concern.
But Michael doesn’t get angry. All at once, he just sort of deflates…eyeing Jensen with more softness than Jensen’s ever really seen from go-get-em Rosenbaum. “All you’ve ever wanted to be is a journalist, Jensen. This was your chance. What’s left now?”
“Everything.” Jensen grins at the confusion in Michael’s eyes, sees a part of himself he’s finally exorcized, and can’t help but forgive his friend then and there. “Hell, someone once told me I’ve got the magic touch…maybe I’ll concentrate on that PT degree after all.”
“So you’re gonna give up your dream, just like that.” Michael snaps his fingers, sarcasm back and thick as the winter fog outside.
Jensen’s smile fades, but the quiet confidence remains. “Dreams change.”
“People change,” Michael counters, but there’s not any heat behind the words. Just careful interest, and Jensen feels a stupid flush working its way up his cheeks, can’t quite look at him until Mike makes a rough sound and turns away to fiddle with something on Allie’s desk.
“Yeah, they do.” Jensen thinks of smiling hazel eyes, big hands and soft lips. Thank god they do. “Tell me something, Mike.” He clears his throat, waiting for his former boss to turn back around. Jensen shifts his weight, chewing his lip. “If you knew Christian was just gonna turn around and sell you out, why the hell’d you put him in there to begin with?”
It was one of the many things he’d wondered since the news article came to light, and though Chris had come clean and cleared up a few niggling details on Jensen’s mind, he’d left plenty more blurry and unsaid. Jensen isn’t all that surprised, figures it’ll take a bit longer to get the fraternity president to trust him after everything that’s gone down, but it’s a start.
There’s a few beats of silence, and then Mike’s jaw works. “I didn’t. Chris had something of his own to prove…my mistake was getting interested in it to begin with. Never was able to let go of a story, Jensen. You know that.”
It’s pretty much what he’d expected, and not nearly enough of an answer. “And I was hungry to jump right in. Yeah, I get it. Just a story.”
Something of an apology lurks behind Mike’s eyes, but Jensen knows better than to push, to expect anything from it. His friend’s more of a reporter than Jensen ever was, ruthless when he needs to be, and Jensen wonders how he ever thought he could be the same.
He takes a deep breath, fingers tightening around the box, and offers a smile. “Good luck, Michael.”
“Jensen--” Michael cuts himself off, scratches at his head, then thrusts out a hand. “Good luck to you, too.” It’s sincere, and Jensen clasps his palm. Says goodbye, to all of it.
It’s wet and soggy when he steps outside, courtesy of a surprise shower in a state that sure needs it, and he gives half a thought of thanks that he’d parked close to the side of the building. Tosses his stuff in the backseat, and peels out of the parking lot.
He catches glimpses of students rushing between classes, books held over their heads and laughter on their faces. Finds himself unconsciously searching out shaggy hair and long legs, then turns up the radio in a bout of frustration. Bob Seger sings in the background, and Jensen hears Tom’s voice in his head.
Everything’s not black and white, Jensen. It’s fuck all in the end. Those guys are there for each other and this school and you’re looking at one week out of a year.
Turns out, Tom was smarter than Jensen’d ever given him credit for.
By the time he gets to Delta House, there’s a gathering of black clouds overhead and Jensen runs inside before getting caught in the downpour. He gets a few waves and calls as he passes by the common room, throws them all an absent salute and makes for the staircase. Right now, a dark room and a nap is sounding pretty damn good.
His door’s cracked open, lights on, and he slows down. Stares at it while something hot and hopeful flashes through his veins. It’s probably just Chad, gone in to find something of Jared’s, but Jensen’s somehow turned into a goddamn optimist along the way and just can’t let the idea go. He shoves the door open.
And Jared’s there, waiting, sitting on the bed with his hands clasped between his legs and his knee bouncing. Jensen shuts the door after him, nearly choking on his relief, and Jared looks up.
“Jared, I…” Now that it’s happening, now that Jared’s here, Jensen doesn’t know what the hell to say. “I know how this must look,” he settles for, feeling so lame, and Jared’s lips curve just a little.
“Do you?” is all he says, easy and so casual that Jensen’s head hurts. “Huh.” He comes to his feet, walks over to stare out the window. “Coming down pretty hard out there.”
“Yeah, it is.” The conversation’s a frustrating struggle for Jensen not to throw himself down at Jared’s feet and beg. “Look, Jay--”
“Oh, sorry, I probably should’ve called…” Jared sounds uncomfortable, like he’s the one who shouldn’t be there, and Jensen gapes at him. “I won’t be long, just came to, you know. Get my shit and get out.”
A bit of bitterness coats those last few words, but none of it’s aimed at the right source: Jensen. Like it should be. He opens his mouth to say just that, but Jared barrels on.
“I came by the Texan a few days back…talked to your friend Allison? She’s, uh, something else.” Jared smiles, and goddamn, Jensen loves him so much it physically hurts. “Just wanted to…” Jared trails off, shrugs his shoulders and won’t meet Jensen’s eye. Laughs a bit unsteadily. “Anyway, she put me through the wringer.”
“She can be a bit hostile on occasion,” Jensen manages, low and gruff, and why isn’t Jared close enough that he can grab on? “She’s a good friend, though. Always has your back.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t know.” It’s a brutal hit. Jensen feels the impact, blinks, mouth quivering into a frown even as Jared keeps right on smiling. That nervous tension is back though, and scoring his features. “Look, I’m not real good at the stall tactics, so I’ll just get on to it.” He breathes deep, and Jensen’s pulse is pounding hard enough to rival the outside thunder. “I’m sorry, Jen. For all of it. I never should’ve…everything just…” He trails off, looking pained. “Anyway, I just wanted you to know that. I’m sorry, and--”
“Dude, what the hell?” It comes out before Jensen can think better of it, and suddenly he wants to strangle the fucking idiot as much as he wants to lick up and under that hard jaw until he tastes Jared’s frown. He welcomes the burst of raw anger, soaks it up. “I’m a grown man, if I hadn’t wanted it, I’d’ve stopped you.”
“Not if it helped with the article.” Jared’s voice is soft, matter-of-fact. And somehow louder than a shout. “Every time I touched you, every…every time you let me, it was for. Christ it was all for the paper and--”
“Hey, fuck that,” Jensen interrupts quickly, breath heavy and panicked. “Fuck that, Jay.”
For the first time, Jared looks mutinous, angry. Ragged. He throws his arms around, a sure sign of how upset he really us, and the crack in his voice shudders down Jensen’s spine like broken glass. “What the hell’m I supposed to think, man? Allie, she explained it all to me. I get it, okay? I get you were trying to save him or whatever. Just let me apologize and get out, Jensen. Please. Just let me.”
Jensen’s mind’s spinning around. He understands Jared’s words, but doesn’t all at the same time. It all seems so long ago, his motives and purposes and, all of it. He’s across the room before he can suck in a breath, Jared’s face between his hands and determination on his tongue. “It wasn’t Tom I was trying to save by the end, Jared. Not Tom. Do you get that?”
Lightning streaks outside the window, illuminating Jared’s hurt, confused expression. Jensen knows he’s digging in too hard, knuckles white, but he can’t ease up. Not until Jared fucking says something.
The moment of silence drags on way too long, and then Jared clears his throat. Reaches up for Jensen’s wrists and pulls them away, tightening his grip so hard that for a minute Jensen sees flashes of broken fingers and weeks of recovery.
Then, “I wasn’t lookin’ for a fuckin’ Savior, Jensen! I was just lookin’ for you.” Jared lets go abruptly, sucks in a breath, and turns away. He grabs something off the bed, some small remnant of his stay in Delta Sigma, and shoulders past Jensen without another word.
Jensen’s stunned still, hears a few shouted “Yo, Beast! Where you been, man?”s as Jared walks down the hallway, but by the time he makes it out there, the only one standing around is Chad. Jared’s friend watches him for a long moment, chewing on an apple and maybe understanding Jensen a little too well.
“Well, now you know why they call him that,” he says, and Jensen walks back in his room and slams the door.
Jared doesn’t visit the Deltas again, not that Jensen’s really expecting him to. Jensen sees him once a few weeks later, coming out of the gym in basketball shorts and short sleeves. Tousled and sweaty, and they lock eyes for all of a second before a car zooms by. When Jensen looks again, Jared’s walking away, and ain’t that just the punctuation mark on it all.
“Dude,” Steve says several nights later, slapping Jensen across the thigh with a wet rag. “Go out and get laid before you make me depressed. You can’t afford my therapy bills.”
Jensen blinks, coming out of a nice daze involving a spot on the wall that he’s decided is a dead ringer for David Duchovny. “Huh?” Steve’s sigh could blow over a building, and Jensen blushes a bit on realizing he’s been moping all night. “Sorry, man, I just…m’not feeling myself lately, I guess.”
“I told you this was all a bad idea.” But there’s less accusation than concern in his friend’s voice, and Jensen nods absently. “Look, you need to go home? Get yourself sorted out?”
Jensen seriously considers it for a moment, then realizes he’d just wind up spending the time pining over Jared in Jared’s bed and that’s just, no. “I’m good,” he says, clearing his throat and forcing a smile that doesn’t fool Steve for a second. But his friend doesn’t call him on it, just tosses him a menu and nods toward a dark corner in the bar.
“Well, someone’s been checking you out all night. Go for it, will ya? Turn that frown upside down.”
Jensen grimaces a little at the idea of having to turn down some stranger, then glances over. He has to look twice through the smoke and dim light, but his heart’s already clawing up his throat as he walks over. “What the hell are you doin’ here?” he chokes out, fingers curling into fists when Jared just slants him a carelessly blank look. Like he could give a damn that Jensen’s here, that he’s fucking breaking Jensen in two by showing up and not wanting him back.
Jared just leans back in his chair, legs sprawled out and lips curled up at the edges. “I’m pining, lost without you,” he says, deadpanned but with something sparkling in his eyes that Jensen hasn’t seen for way too long.
“You’re…” Jensen grits his teeth together. “I’m sure you’ll get over it.”
“Better luck getting rid of my name on your ass.” And there it is, that mischievous smile Jensen loves and hates. It takes a few seconds for Jared’s words to sink in, and then Jensen frowns in obvious confusion. Jared cocks his head, now pulling on his lower lip with two fingers and Jensen’s gaze drops, he sways forward a little. “You never looked at that tattoo, did ya?”
Jensen snaps straight, cheeks hot and dick much too interested. “The hell are you talkin’ about?”
Jared throws his head back, laughs loud enough to bring the house down, and Jensen sees Steve glance their way. Finally Jared quiets down some, though his expression doesn’t dim. He leans forward, crooking a finger expectantly. “Hey, don’t worry…I got one, too.”
“Yeah? Where?” Jensen jokes despite the fact that he still has no fucking idea what’s going on. Although judging by the way Jared’s acting, maybe he should stop overthinking and just thank god for small favors.
Jared’s voice takes a turn for sly, his fingers wrapping around Jensen’s wrist. “Can’t show you here.”
Jensen suddenly finds himself eye-to-eye with Jared, and licks his lips unconsciously. “Jay. What’re you, what’s this all about?” he gets out, low and thrumming, because hell…he’s gotta know. “Five minutes ago you weren’t even speaking to me, and now.”
“And now I am,” Jared says, like that’s the end of it. Jensen feels a flash of frustration, and then Jared tugs him closer. “M’sorry, I just.” His throat works, a soft laugh escaping through. “I guess Beauty really did tame the Beast, because fuck Jen…I can’t go on. M’serious. Lost without you, and I need you to kiss me, make it all better.”
“You’re the cheesy Disney princess, Jay.” But Jensen’s smiling and the headache that’s been brewing behind his eyes for weeks suddenly vanishes.
“Damn straight. And now you gotta kiss me, so I turn back into a handsome prince and you get your voice back and get to keep your legs, and we slurp on the same spaghetti noodle and live happily ever after.”
Jensen shakes his head, rubbing his thumb across Jared’s hand and snorting soft amusement. “Uh, I’m pretty sure that’s not how that one ends.”
Jared pauses in his pouting to roll his eyes. “Dude, they all end like that.” He shifts, closing his legs around Jensen’s and dragging his heels together until Jensen’s forced into the circle of his hips.
“Fair enough,” Jensen gets out around a voice and tongue gone thick. He licks his lips, shooting a look over his shoulder to find Steve just looking away, a smile hovering on his mouth. He turns back to Jared with hope for the first time in a month.
“Look, have some coffee with me,” Jared says, all traces of humor gone from his voice and expression. “I know it’s cliché, but. I wanna talk. Can we talk?”
“I’m working,” Jensen sighs, wishing he’d taken Steve up on that night off after all. Then he realizes it probably sounds like a dismissal when Jared’s smile falters, and opens his mouth again.
But Jared’s just nodding, then leans over and whistles toward Steve. Before Jensen has a chance to react, Jared’s all smiles and aw-shucks tone. “Excuse me, but would ya mind firing this guy so he’ll have a cup of coffee with me? Cut me a break here, man.”
Jensen huffs out a laugh, and Steve grins. “Sure thing. Jen, you’re fired. Stella here’s gonna take your place starting Monday, aren’t you darlin’?” He wiggles his brows to a shapely redhead sitting at the bar, then shoots Jensen a meaningful look. “Case that wasn’t clear enough, get the hell outta here and get some.”
“Jesus!” But Jared’s already tugging him out the door. “I oughta smack you both for that,” Jensen says, not a hint of anger in his voice. Especially not when Jared shoves him up against the wall outside, gets up close and breathes him in.
“Why don’tcha just spank me instead?” Jared’s grin glitters in the lamppost light, and then he reaches around and finds Jensen’s ass with big hands. Nuzzles Jensen’s neck, soft sounds and warm breath. “Fuck Jen…miss me?”
“Oh, you go somewhere?” Jensen tries for some shred of dignity, but crumbles the second Jared’s tongue finds his pulse. His breath goes shaky, hands catching lean hips and pulling close. “Damn it, Jared, you know I fucking did.”
“Wanna get inside you, you inside me.” Jared grinds down, lets Jensen feel just how truthful the statement is. “Been too long, felt like a walking hard-on.”
“Got a nice big bed.” Jensen catches his mouth, finally gets a good taste. Against Jared’s lips he adds, “Wanna come home with me?”
Jared looks down at him through heavy lids. “You want me there?”
The raw insecurity plastered across his face is Jensen’s undoing; he murmurs Jared’s name and laughs. “Dude, it was yours first. Fuck you, and come on home.”
“With you?” Jared’s voice is steady, but it’s definitely a question. Jensen gets what this is about, and the answer is all too easy.
“You’re not getting rid of me now. Sorry.” He nips Jared’s earlobe, palms his ass. “’Fraid you got me liking those Greek assholes, too, and now you’re all stuck with me. Got a tattoo on my ass says so, even.”
“Yeah, about that…” Jared clears his throat, mutters a husky oath when Jensen’s fingers find their way around to the front of his pants. “You, uh, you really oughta look in the mirror once in awhile.”
“What’d you do to me?” Jensen whispers, and he means it in more ways than Jared’ll ever comprehend.
“Made you mine.” Jared grins, drops his forehead to Jensen’s. “Or did ya think my name’s on all the Delta Sigma crests?”
“Well, son of a bitch.”
Jared laughs, then laughs louder, and drops another kiss on Jensen’s mouth. “Come on, Beauty. Let’s go on home then, and I’ll let ya spank me for real. I’ve been a bad, bad boy.”
Yeah, Jensen thinks, following Jared out to his car with a grin on his face. I love you, too.
xxx
University of Texas.
The Cactus Café.
Seven Days Before Pledge Week.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you when this all blows up in your face.”
Jensen ignores Steve’s prediction as he’s been doing since he made his Delta Sigma announcement, and wipes the counter down with wet cloth. “So, after I take those Greek assholes down, I’m gonna graduate and get a job at Channel 6. Maybe I’ll even pretend I know you, get some publicity for this joint.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Steve mutters, shouldering Jensen into the wall as he passes by. “Just be careful what you wish for. Things have a way of working out different.”
“Not my things,” Jensen says easily, and meets Steve’s raised brows with two of his own.
“Excuse me.” A deep voice catches Jensen’s attention, and he glances up…and up, and up. It’s so dark in the room he can’t quite make the guy’s features out, but for some reason he just knows it’d be worth the effort.
“What can I do for you?” Harmless and easy, and he shouldn’t be flirting without making sure it’d be well-received, but it’s a slow night and he’s bored as all hell.
A hand slides half-across the counter, and Jensen notes the long, lean fingers. Swallows a little, because goddamn. It’s been awhile since he last hooked up, and even longer since he and Tom broke it off. Jensen’s missed big hands, and these look even better.
As if he knows exactly what Jensen’s dirty mind is imagining, the guy smirks. Jensen catches sight of a flash of amusement under the ballcap pulled down low over the guy’s head, and then he’s leaning closer. “I’ll let you know when I figure it out.” Voice a tease that sets Jensen’s blood on fire and has him shifting on his feet behind the bar to hide the sudden growth in his pants.
The guy finally pulls his hand away, and Jensen stares down at the dollar bills left behind. When he looks back up, the guy’s gone back to his table, laughing out loud and clapping one of his friends on the back. He glances over just once, and the brightness of that smile is something Jensen’s pretty sure he’s gonna be jerking off to for days, and he hasn’t even gotten a good look at the guy’s face.
Steve walks by, tsking under his breath about slutty employees, and Jensen just grins.
Different or not, he’s got a feeling things are gonna work out just fine.
xxx
Epilogue.
[click images to read]
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