(no subject)
it was a wonderful four/five days with jared. i slept at the shore with him one night, then his house the next, then we hung out with a ton of people yesterday and today, and then tonight it all ended almost exactly like it did last time, only i was mostly sober.
like fuck. and stuff.
so i don't know when i'll see or talk to him again.
but after all that ended i went and talked to steve ingram and justin for a while. and we played tic tac toe. and i won! and it was cool.
and i'm much more chill now, only i want to go smoke ciggarettes on the porch and call justin and steve, since they're still at the park. but thats a shitty idea. i like those kids though.
fuck? i hope everything doesn't suck tomorrow.
i have to go to a ton of appoinments. including a doctors appointment, that was just randomly schedule. and a therapist, only i think it's about school. and stuff. i should sleep, because i have to do something at ten. another appointment.
maybe i can call jackrabbit tomorrow? or whatever. this post is ending, like now.. i'm just trying to stop thinking about jared. and like, not knowing at all whats going to happen. it really made me feel awful tonight, because i had no idea any of this would happen(again.)
and i'm done with the update.
EDIT: tomorrow won't suck because i don't think fran hates me. and no matter what, i'll get a phone call from awesome kids. because an awesome kid called me twice tonight, and he said he'd come hang out with me and stuff, too. sweet~!
a negative that i just remembered is that cosimos is now angry at me, because jared was at cosimos with me, and made sam sad. thats an anti score right there.
ANOTHER EDIT: i really do love jared, even though it's not the be with you forever love(cause thats just not healthy, and we're just not like that), and it really sucks to not know whats going to happen at all. if things just end like this, and he goes away, i'm going to feel so shitty. i also made a really hard promise tonight(about other stuff) and i really feel obligated to keep it. i feel shitty. i wish i could sleep.
like fuck. and stuff.
so i don't know when i'll see or talk to him again.
but after all that ended i went and talked to steve ingram and justin for a while. and we played tic tac toe. and i won! and it was cool.
and i'm much more chill now, only i want to go smoke ciggarettes on the porch and call justin and steve, since they're still at the park. but thats a shitty idea. i like those kids though.
fuck? i hope everything doesn't suck tomorrow.
i have to go to a ton of appoinments. including a doctors appointment, that was just randomly schedule. and a therapist, only i think it's about school. and stuff. i should sleep, because i have to do something at ten. another appointment.
maybe i can call jackrabbit tomorrow? or whatever. this post is ending, like now.. i'm just trying to stop thinking about jared. and like, not knowing at all whats going to happen. it really made me feel awful tonight, because i had no idea any of this would happen(again.)
and i'm done with the update.
EDIT: tomorrow won't suck because i don't think fran hates me. and no matter what, i'll get a phone call from awesome kids. because an awesome kid called me twice tonight, and he said he'd come hang out with me and stuff, too. sweet~!
a negative that i just remembered is that cosimos is now angry at me, because jared was at cosimos with me, and made sam sad. thats an anti score right there.
ANOTHER EDIT: i really do love jared, even though it's not the be with you forever love(cause thats just not healthy, and we're just not like that), and it really sucks to not know whats going to happen at all. if things just end like this, and he goes away, i'm going to feel so shitty. i also made a really hard promise tonight(about other stuff) and i really feel obligated to keep it. i feel shitty. i wish i could sleep.