Eating disorder clinc appt. #2
I got interviewed again. Some questions I answered, some I couldn't.
Then I left- took a litte break- and they disscussed things.
Here's what they want right now: they want me to see go to the diabetes education centre, and they want me to meet with a dietician.
Okay. WHAT THE FUCK. I think quite a few people would vouch for the fact that I know quite a lot about nutrition and diabetes. WHAT THE FUCK DO THESE PEOPLE THINK THAT THESE MEETINGS ARE GOING TO TEACH ME?
I *know* what I should be doing. I *know* when I'm eating healthily and when I'm not. What I *don't* know is how to apply those things to myself because I'm so fucked up and eating so weirdly that I *can't* eat well and I have no idea whether or not the dose I gave is right for what I ate, since I have no idea what I ate! I think they're missing the point. I even SAID that I knew enough about diabetes--I've met with people; THAT WON'T HELP. Fix me, goddammit, don't fob me off onto the clinic for some other facet of my issues. Listen to me when I tell you: if you treat this eating disorder, my diabetes control will get better. Possibly even amazingly better. Yes, my eating disorder is inextricably tied to my diabetes. Well, people, that's why I (following sound advice) orginally called a health psychologist rather that the hospital E.D. clinic. If you don't want to listen, fine. I'll just get angry and frantic and go and binge and drink and cry and make everyone worry about me, then I'll go sit my French grammar exam while drunk and feel like crap.
I'm crying again. Fuck this fucking fucked up shit. I HATE this.
Then I left- took a litte break- and they disscussed things.
Here's what they want right now: they want me to see go to the diabetes education centre, and they want me to meet with a dietician.
Okay. WHAT THE FUCK. I think quite a few people would vouch for the fact that I know quite a lot about nutrition and diabetes. WHAT THE FUCK DO THESE PEOPLE THINK THAT THESE MEETINGS ARE GOING TO TEACH ME?
I *know* what I should be doing. I *know* when I'm eating healthily and when I'm not. What I *don't* know is how to apply those things to myself because I'm so fucked up and eating so weirdly that I *can't* eat well and I have no idea whether or not the dose I gave is right for what I ate, since I have no idea what I ate! I think they're missing the point. I even SAID that I knew enough about diabetes--I've met with people; THAT WON'T HELP. Fix me, goddammit, don't fob me off onto the clinic for some other facet of my issues. Listen to me when I tell you: if you treat this eating disorder, my diabetes control will get better. Possibly even amazingly better. Yes, my eating disorder is inextricably tied to my diabetes. Well, people, that's why I (following sound advice) orginally called a health psychologist rather that the hospital E.D. clinic. If you don't want to listen, fine. I'll just get angry and frantic and go and binge and drink and cry and make everyone worry about me, then I'll go sit my French grammar exam while drunk and feel like crap.
I'm crying again. Fuck this fucking fucked up shit. I HATE this.