Fanfiction .004
Title: "Untitled"
Author: Annie Lovegood (when my username was __chericola)
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Harry/Hermione, Harry/Ginny
Genre: Drama/Romance
Rated: PG-13
Synopsis: She didn't know if he felt the same way.
He kept on staring at the door she’d just passed through. Upon his eyes the expression of confusion, courage and fear, all mixed up… Yet that didn’t stop his eyes from being beautiful and one of his most attractive features… At that moment, all I wished was they were resting on me, rather than on the stupid door…
“Harry, just go…” I said with a faint voice. Not that I wanted to say it aloud… but he was clearly confused - he didn’t know if he should go to her, or wait for things to calm down… And of course I had to give him a helping hand… as always.
He turned his head slowly to face me. And I locked eyes with him. His face showed shock, he had little black circles under his eyes and his hair had never been this messed up… yet he remained beautiful. I know that even if he were a monster, I would think he was lovely. Because, darn it, I loved him. And that’s what made me suffer.
But I kept on doing things for his sake. Basically, if I saw him fall, I would fall in a way three times more painful so I could share his pain. If he held his breathe for one minute, I would hold it for three. So I could say that I knew how he felt and comfort him. Yet all the love I gave him was being wasted, but I kept on wasting it, blindly. Even if he could never love me back.
I kept on giving the same excuse as to why I did it. “If you love someone, all you want is to see that person happy, even if you have to sacrifice yourself and not get anything back.”, I said to myself. Bunch of lies. I wanted to see him happy with me. With me. No one else. I wanted to be selfish and have him for my own. But, unfortunately, life never is the way people want it to be. So I had to be the usual best friend and help him with everything, like friends should do.
“Harry…” I had closed my eyes. Because I didn’t want to see his green eyes. Because I didn’t want him to notice. But I eventually would have to open them - and so I did. I found him still looking at me… it irritated me, and worse, it was a huge amount of pain. “Just. Go.”
The expression on his eyes changed. Now, I could see disappointment and… a certain glow… like he’d just found something… new. Something new… it echoed in my mind until I got it. God, he’d found out. All he had needed was a few seconds to found out what I’d hidden for about seven years. Something I’d never talked about. Something that was even hard for me to say aloud, to admit. That I loved him.
I felt hatred against myself. So vulnerable.
And then I saw. In his eyes. A fire burning, the fire of wanting… and… I was inside him. I wasn’t anymore on the small room, sitting in front of a table with a mug on it - I was inside Harry’s eyes. He… He loved me?!?! I looked away… I didn’t care.
Still, I reached his hand and hold it for a moment. And squeezed it encouragingly… like a good friend would do.
He got up and left through the very same door he’d been looking at. And I sat. Waiting. For nothing. Just waiting. Looking at the white mug I was holding. I brought it to my lips, but immediately spit. The liquid inside it was too hot, yet too cold. Only because I was drinking the hate I felt towards this life. I put it down and got up. And walked to the door.
They were outside. I could see them, because the door wasn’t fully closed. And they were happy. Kissing and hugging. The image annoyed me.
I looked away and pulled my hair. Until I felt like it was going to come off. I managed to turn a scream of pure hate and pain into a whisper. I fell on my knees… my vision was all blurry, but when I looked again at them, I managed to see that Harry was staring at the spot where I was.
But he looked away. At Ginny. Just in time. Or else he would have seen the tears streaming down my face.
Author: Annie Lovegood (when my username was __chericola)
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Harry/Hermione, Harry/Ginny
Genre: Drama/Romance
Rated: PG-13
Synopsis: She didn't know if he felt the same way.
He kept on staring at the door she’d just passed through. Upon his eyes the expression of confusion, courage and fear, all mixed up… Yet that didn’t stop his eyes from being beautiful and one of his most attractive features… At that moment, all I wished was they were resting on me, rather than on the stupid door…
“Harry, just go…” I said with a faint voice. Not that I wanted to say it aloud… but he was clearly confused - he didn’t know if he should go to her, or wait for things to calm down… And of course I had to give him a helping hand… as always.
He turned his head slowly to face me. And I locked eyes with him. His face showed shock, he had little black circles under his eyes and his hair had never been this messed up… yet he remained beautiful. I know that even if he were a monster, I would think he was lovely. Because, darn it, I loved him. And that’s what made me suffer.
But I kept on doing things for his sake. Basically, if I saw him fall, I would fall in a way three times more painful so I could share his pain. If he held his breathe for one minute, I would hold it for three. So I could say that I knew how he felt and comfort him. Yet all the love I gave him was being wasted, but I kept on wasting it, blindly. Even if he could never love me back.
I kept on giving the same excuse as to why I did it. “If you love someone, all you want is to see that person happy, even if you have to sacrifice yourself and not get anything back.”, I said to myself. Bunch of lies. I wanted to see him happy with me. With me. No one else. I wanted to be selfish and have him for my own. But, unfortunately, life never is the way people want it to be. So I had to be the usual best friend and help him with everything, like friends should do.
“Harry…” I had closed my eyes. Because I didn’t want to see his green eyes. Because I didn’t want him to notice. But I eventually would have to open them - and so I did. I found him still looking at me… it irritated me, and worse, it was a huge amount of pain. “Just. Go.”
The expression on his eyes changed. Now, I could see disappointment and… a certain glow… like he’d just found something… new. Something new… it echoed in my mind until I got it. God, he’d found out. All he had needed was a few seconds to found out what I’d hidden for about seven years. Something I’d never talked about. Something that was even hard for me to say aloud, to admit. That I loved him.
I felt hatred against myself. So vulnerable.
And then I saw. In his eyes. A fire burning, the fire of wanting… and… I was inside him. I wasn’t anymore on the small room, sitting in front of a table with a mug on it - I was inside Harry’s eyes. He… He loved me?!?! I looked away… I didn’t care.
Still, I reached his hand and hold it for a moment. And squeezed it encouragingly… like a good friend would do.
He got up and left through the very same door he’d been looking at. And I sat. Waiting. For nothing. Just waiting. Looking at the white mug I was holding. I brought it to my lips, but immediately spit. The liquid inside it was too hot, yet too cold. Only because I was drinking the hate I felt towards this life. I put it down and got up. And walked to the door.
They were outside. I could see them, because the door wasn’t fully closed. And they were happy. Kissing and hugging. The image annoyed me.
I looked away and pulled my hair. Until I felt like it was going to come off. I managed to turn a scream of pure hate and pain into a whisper. I fell on my knees… my vision was all blurry, but when I looked again at them, I managed to see that Harry was staring at the spot where I was.
But he looked away. At Ginny. Just in time. Or else he would have seen the tears streaming down my face.