Here's the kind of thing that happens to me when I try to do memes.
I mentioned recently that I was amused by the 5 words meme that is currently making the rounds, and in honor of that, Albreda gave me 5 words. They are: Fiber, travel, history, dance, laughter. I made sure she is aware that I may never complete this meme.
Being the non-linear thinker that I am, I saw the list and mentally started with dance.
And the first word it makes me think of is "bittersweet". Swing dance is the first exercise I've EVER found that I would go out of my way to do. I have even danced through excruciating foot pain because it brings me so much joy. I loved the mental and physical challenges, both as a leader and as a follower, and I loved the fact that I could dance well with pretty much anybody, and anybody would dance with me.
Well, "brought me joy" would probably be a better phrase, because that was how things were in B-town. I couldn't wait until the next dance there, wherever it was, because not only did I absolutely love the dancing itself, but I had made some of those rare best-of-the-best kinds of friends in the community there.
Dancing in Boston was like trying to land on a hostile alien planet. Trying to break into the dance community in Boston brought me so much stress that after about 9 months of trying to become a part of it, I finally gave up. I was completely exhausted mentally. I'm still exhausted mentally, and also very sad about the whole thing. I can't make people want to dance with me (or likewise, be friends with me) if they don't want to do so, and I'm not willing to keep pouring hundreds of dollars a month into classes and dances while trying. I miss dancing a great deal, but it just seems to be something I can't have here. There's a part of me that wants to start dancing elsewhere (when I'm traveling and/or back in VT), but I fear that if I do, it'll make everything feel even more bittersweet than it already does.
As David Boss says so often, "it is what it is". I just have to suck it up and deal.
Maybe I'll tackle the fun parts of the list tomorrow.