Sharing Is Caring, Part Six! Showcasing My Latest Obsession!

[strina]

• You know what's an awesome word? Doom. I like it. It's fun to say. Also fun for ominousity. You know, doom-laden, doomsayer, tra-la-ing along to your eventual DOOM. Plus, looks good in all-caps.
  
  
• HEE, for Melodramatic and Unnecessary Capitalization.
  
  
• Awesome words? Saturnine and catamite. I mean, yes, catamite's a very demeaning term, but the word itself rocks. And Snape is totally saturnine.
  
  
• I love my flist. I love people who share my opinions and I love people who are off from them just enough to make me have to think hard about what my opinion actually is and I love people with completely different opinions because dude, without my flist I would be far less fond of Ronon Dex and I would not have seen Mammoth. And that would be practically criminal.
  
  
• It occurs to me that I spectacularly badly equipped to deal with my own body. For example, I've been sick for two days. I don't know why, or how to fix it. Did I eat something that disagrees with me? Am I eating too little, thus causing my digestive system to rebel against me and my tyranny? I just have no idea.
  
  Or, well, I've been limping for days because something's wrong with my calf muscles. I stretched one morning and got what felt like a horrible cramp and now it hurts to walk or touch my leg.
  
  Things like that. I need to be able to go to someone and say "Something is awry. Tell me what to do."
  
  
• One of the many reasons I hate using public computers? I can't talk to myself, because everybody knows people who talk to themselves are crazy.
  
  
• Hmmm. I wish to make a list about visions and prophecies and fate, but I cannot decide what to call it. Choices are down to: "Fighting Anyhow", "Folly to Be Wise", and "The Bitterest Tragic Element", Folly being slightly in the lead.
  
  The bitterest tragic element in life to be derived from an intellectual source is the belief in a brute Fate or Destiny.
  Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882), Natural History of Intellect (1893)
  
  Yet ah! why should they know their fate,
  Since sorrow never comes too late,
  And happiness too swiftly flies?
  Thought would destroy their paradise.
  No more; where ignorance is bliss,
  'Tis folly to be wise.
  Thomas Gray, "On a Distant Prospect of Eton College" 1742
  
  If fate means you to lose, give him a good fight anyhow.
  William McFee
  
  
• There does indeed come a point where it is TOO MUCH time travel. The HP/RL series Healing (by sarini) met that point, smacked it in the face, and then grew two more stories from sheer contrariness.
  
  I could not even skim past the first couple chapters of the second story because my brain just kept screaming PARADOX! PARADOX! in the apparently justified belief that I would give up.
  
  I wasn't that interested to begin with! TOO MUCH WORK FOR A CREEPY CROSS-GEN PAIRING
  
  So basically, in cross-gen: some time-travel > no time-travel > enough time-travel to reverse the age discrepancy > SO MUCH CONVOLUTED TIME-TRAVEL I BEGIN TO HATE THE VERY CONCEPT
  
  
• There are stories I make myself read. No, actually, make myself read. Because there are red flag concepts, in fanfiction. Like, magical bonding. It can be so very good, or it can be so very painfully bad. And you just don't know.
  
  
• I'm kind of incredibly amused at how very many post-HBP stories are all "Love potion! Ginny fed him a love potion!"
  
  God, if JKR went there, it would win so hard. But she won't, because life is not that awesome.
  
  Jesus Horatio Christ, even if I liked Ginny, I would not be a fan of Harry/Ginny. For one, it's creepy that a girl who was basically a rabid fan is now actually dating her celebrity; for another, the thought of Harry and Hermione becoming part of the big happy Weasley family through dating/marriage irks me as too neat.
  
  
• Hey! Let's Just Say No to:
  
  1) Voldemort as secretly Harry's father/grandfather/son/twin
  
  2) Multiple and overlapping trips through time
  
  3) Actually, anybody being anybody else's secret twin
  
  4) Random and forgiven uses of Unforgivable Curses.
  
  Oh, yes. Let's everybody make sure to abjure #4 especially. Because the story where Harry is prepared to cast Crucio on a muggle at a football match for impugning Hermione's honor or whatever? Made my soul die. Just a little. But more than enough.
  
  Also, hi, Avada Kedavra isn't the only way to kill somebody. It's just the only one that has no counter. Also, it's less messy than cutting someone's throat with Diffindo or bashing in their head with Reducto. But most people would tend to think "Blood on my robes? Better than Azkaban!".
  
  
• I enjoy the stories about abused!Harry where the purebloods are all confused at the abuse. You don't abuse a magical child! They could kill you! By accident! Or you could stunt their magic and then you would have brought SHAME upon your family. So you just don't do it.
  
  I mean, it's awesome from my perspective as a fan who enjoys clear delineation between wizarding/muggle culture and as someone who enjoys unexpected logical leaps. Because wow, accidental magic = very effective deterrant when you know what can happen with controlled magic.
  
  Basically, scenario WINS.
  
  
• It's kind of annoying how people constantly ignore the names of spells in favor of their incantations. Accio is the summoning charm, Avada Kedavra is the Killing Curse, Crucio is the Cruciatus, and Imperio is the Imperius.
  
  On that note, I would find it hi-larious if after someone becomes proficient in wandless magic, they find themselves accidentally casting the spells they refer to by incantation in conversation.
  
  
• Oh god, the Sacrifices Arc. SO MUCH LOVE. I CANNOT STOP READING THIS STORY. HAVE YOU SEEN CHAPTER 54?
  
  OTP.
  
  NO, I NEED SOMETHING BIGGER THAN OTP. SUPER-MEGA-UNBREAKABLE-OTP, PERHAPS.
  
  OH, HARRY. OH, DRACO. PLEASE TO NOT BE DYING IN THE NEXT BOOK, KTHNXBAI.
  
  
• I always feel vaguely wrong-footed when I read stories that have Voldemort defeated around the middle of the story. It's just...weird.
  
  
• ""Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Severus", Alistor Moody spoke, gesturing towards the journal on his desk, "while by no means conclusive, it does confirm a lot of the Ministry's suspicions."
  
  "It does?", the potions professor asked, clearly intrigued.
  
  "For a while now, we have believed Albus Dumbledore to be rather, to put it bluntly, obsessed with Tom Riddle. One theory is that he never got over his failure to guide that boy towards the right path."
  
  "And thus... ", Snape ventured a guess, "he attempted to right that wrong by pulling all the strings where Mister Potter was concerned?"
  
  Moody nodded. "That's the theory, yes. And then, somewhere in the middle of the erm.. puppetry, unfortunately, matters got slightly out of hand."
  
  "Yes", Snape remarked dryly, "Just a tad."" - from this
  
  AHAHAHA. Oh, Dumbledore. I love how every single villianous!Dumbledore story ever makes him the bad guy by having him think himself infallible. Greatness, that is. Because dude, Dumbledore? Canon!puppetmaster. And even in canon, that does not work out well, so much.
  
  I mean, good guy! Awesome vigilante leader! But seriously, worst. Headmaster. ever.
  
  He totally kept setting Harry up to get killed! It's sheer luck that he wasn't! And he did all of this while legally and morally responsible for Harry's safety and protection! Dude, not on!
  
  
• I'm sorry, but I totally do believe Harry's angst trumps everybody else's. I mean, Snape and Remus can almost compete; among the three, it might be kind of a judgement call. But other than that, ha, no, shut up, automatic win on that front.
  
  Don't even bother trying to equal it out with Hermione's Mudblood pain or Draco's abusive bigot father or Ginny's possession scars; even added together they do not hold up to a childhood of abuse and neglect, mental and physical torture sanctioned by authority figures, public vilification, and the witnessing of the deaths of his mother, his classmate, his godfather, and his mentor. It's just not going to work.
  
  
• Summaries make me giggle. I mean, even for good stories, they can be a bit hit or miss. And then you can just be wandering around and find gems such as "Shunned by his housemates and left sarcastic and bitter, with the war over and won what is Harry to do now he can live ? answer: turn to tobacco and self harm while developing a romance with a once hated enemy now friend and confident" and "The story of Bonnie and Clyde is played out through the lives of fifteen year old, abused Harry Potter and Draco, a runaway pychotic serial killer. Together they desperatly try to find a new life while leaving corpses of anyone who stands in their way.".
  
  Oh, fandom. You make life beautiful. Sometimes by accident.
  
  
• Ahahahahahahaha. AUs are beautiful. I am totally going to queue up "Harry the harem-boy" and "Ron pimps out Harry and Hermione".
  
  Ahhhh! That's just weird. "Draco Malfoy is a wealthy man of thirty five, with a family and blissfully content with the way his life is going. Until Harry, his son's fifteen year old friend comes into the picture. Draco begins a chain of events that will have many asking whether age is a factor when love is involved." W. T. F.
  
  
• Oh, wow, how did I forget how crazy historical romance novels are? I just started reading this H/D fic that's written in that style and it had that scene, you know the one, the hero kisses the...other hero and at first Boy 2 is all reluctant and then is swayed by passion into kissing back, just a little, and then Boy 1 tries to take it a step too far and Boy 2 is all how dare you! no man has ever dared take such liberties with my person! I'll tell my father! and Boy 1 is all if you do that, I'll say I compromised you and then you'll be forced to marry me!
  
  Where else would inappropriate touching and then blackmail and threats be the beginning of Epic Love?
  
  Genre writing WINS.
  
  
• I am relentlessly charmed by Harry's having poor social skills because he grew up in a cupboard.
  
  
• I love how Ginny and Bill seem to end up the "dark" Weasleys, while Percy keeps ending up the "traitor" Weasley. I mean, Death Eater!Ginny shows up a lot, and I've seen dark!Bill twice in the last four days. Dark, not evil, I should clarify.
  
  
• What the fuck! Worst ending ever! Harry kills Voldemort, is crying with remorse over it, and his beloved straight-away kills him, so he won't become a dark lord. What. The. Fuck. Crying. With remorse. Over the death of Voldemort. THAT'S NOT A DARK LORD! THAT'S RIDICULOUS VIRTUE, YOU BASTARDS!
  
  AAAAAAARGH.
  
  
• What the hell, stop dressing your wizards like they shop at Hot Topic.
  
  
• You know, the Sacrifices Arc is the only story I've ever read where I had to stop reading because the joy was LITERALLY too much for me. And I had to do it more than once. It just. It hits so many of my buttons and does it so well and it's so beautiful and three-dimensional and oh, the details and the continuity and the bazillion different plot threads and the intertwined prophecies and oh the good lord, the characters and the relationships among them are some of the best I have EVER SEEN.
  
  SACRIFICES ARC = 100% PURE LOVE.
  
  
• Ahahaha, I love the repression-of-arousal litany you find in so many stories. Like this: "'Fucking Potter! Not sexy, not even cute! Repulsive....wrong..wrong..wrong! Think not sexy thoughts!! Snape naked! McGonagall starkers!! Sex with girls! Having to top!!!'"
  
  
• Ginny referred to as Girl Weasley makes me giggle.
  
  
• If this were a just world, use of phrase "treasure trail" = karmic stab.
  
  
• Okay, I have a huge problem with story's where the protagonist's like "well, he isn't really one to "open up", but...". No. Nobody uses quotation marks for casual slang. Emphasis, irony, or flat-out quotation, fine; otherwise, leave be.
  
  
• Things I like to see in fic: the DA, Occlumency, Harry's Slytherin side, the goddamn sword, the freaking Chamber of Secrets, Parseltongue.
  
  Because excepting the first two, I can guarantee they got damn short shrift in canon and that's not on.
  
  Bitch, if you could talk to animals, you totally would do it, "dark power" or not. Also! Secret chamber! Of one of the founders! No way in hell was a basilisk the only thing down there.
  
  
• Also, jesus god, is chan for serious the final frontier? Because holy the crap, there appears to be nothing these people won't make wee!Harry do - fucking christ, double-dicking with two teachers and a memory charm for afters? What the fucking fuck, that's not cool. And hey, you know what chan + dub con = child molestation, fuckers.
  
  
• Nothing makes you feel filthy like reading a story that has someone, as pillow talk, tell their younger lover that hey, it looks like his voice is starting to break!
  
  
• I...why is HG/FW/GW so popular? I seem to see it everywhere. Is there some piece of canon I missed, or is it just "mmmmmm, twins" factor?
  
  
• Oh, fandom. I love how I can look at a story premise, go AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, and then need to read it immediately.
  
  Gryffindor!Marauder!Snape and outcast!Slytherin!Remus. BEAUTIFULNESS.
  
  
• I appear constitutionally incapable of so much as thinking the phrase "web of LIES" without capslock.
  
  
• And hey, because corvidae9 started me thinking:
  
  "2) Those in which Sirius does not in fact spend twelve years in Azkaban, as this is one of the things I find the least explicable, canonwise, for reasons that I know I've ranted about before. I can buy tossing him in due to the paranoia factor and circumstantial evidence, but the logic behind Dumbledore (if no one else) 1) falling for it and 2) allowing it to continue makes my brain hurt. Side bonus is that Harry was not raised by Dursleys, as the idea of his closet makes my heart hurt. Kid lived in a closet. Some people *cough*Dumbles*cough* insist that closet > dead, as lack of a closet = dead, but I argue that while closet > dead, lack of closet merely = be more careful, people. Raise the boy at Hogwarts if necessary. I know, I know, the closet made him humble, etc. Whatever. SHEESH, JKR. DON'T GET ME STARTED on the things we have to take as givens and then try and explain away to defend and bolster our personal vision of your playground as the one true way make a story work." - from her Top 5 AUs, here
  
  Then I was all: "But AAAH, even if nobody who cared about Sirius personally did something, wizarding politics is still politics, at some point an opponent was going to drag up the fact that the administration was jailing people without trial and go public to say "NOT ON! so you should vote for me instead". Also, hi, Dumbledore can READ MINDS. READ. MINDS."
  
  And now I keep thinking, why were people not all het up to see Sirius get Kissed? I mean, if the public knew he betrayed the heroic and martyred Potters to the Dark Lord, wouldn't they want him punished to the full extent of the law? And then wouldn't the whole illegal imprisonment thing have come up?
  
  Also, what the hell is up with Wizarding law? Is there nothing like Social Services? Why the hell was Dumbledore able to just wander off with an orphan and dispose of him as he wished? And aren't there, I don't know, libel laws? Why are there only two newspapers for a whole country, and why are they both batshit insane?
  
  Bonus questions: What the fuck was up with Hagrid and his "never been a dark witch or wizard didn't come out of Slytherin" thing when he knew one of the Potters' Gryffindor friends had betrayed them? What the hell use is a Sorting Hat that lets the children decide where they go? Is the study of Occlumency/Legilimency supposed to be regulated and if not, why, when mind-reading should be at least as dangerous as turning into an animal?
  
  Oh, JKR. Why can you not be as awesome with details as lightningwave? If nothing else, I would love her for making things make sense.