Have Some Fic Quotes!
She abandons the pen and turns so that she can capture Diana's mouth with hers, and Diana tastes like coffee and the honey she puts in it, and something else, something that Lois likes to call goddess, because of all of the women she has kissed (and boy in college did she rack up a lot), Diana is the only one who tastes that way.
- Crosswards
This is not the thing that yesterday's Meredith would do. It's not the thing that pick me, choose me, love me Meredith would do. It's not the kind of thing that don't-call-me-a-whore Meredith would do either, because this Meredith, the one she is right now? She is kind of a whore, but more than that, she's kind of happy with it. She still wouldn't let anyone call her one, of course- and if Derek opens his mouth and says one word to ruin it, she's going to make sure he's at Seattle Grace as a patient instead of a doctor, because she's pretty sure he could take him and then leave him sitting there injured and bleeding until she gets off - but for now, she's nothing but dirty thoughts and nerve endings and, fuck, hormones. Hormones are awesome.
Meredith's fucked a married man before- that was prom, in a nutshell- but she's never screwed a couple at the same time.
She kisses Addison. When she feels Addison's hand knotting itself in her hair, she knows she's won.
- All I Really Want
"Bill," he’d asked, "why can’t you keep your cock to yourself for five minutes in a row?"
"The Greeks," Bill stated, as if no further explanation should be necessary. Obviously all promiscuity was the fault of ancient peoples. Had Patrick never been told?
"The Greeks?"
"They were clever guys. They invented democracy and the theatre and heated flooring - "
"I’m fairly sure that was the Romans."
William waved the comment away. "Inessential. My point is, the Greeks were intelligent men. And they thought that if a person didn’t have enough sex, they’d go mad. They said getting off with other people was vital for a person’s mental wellbeing, and who am I to argue with thousands of years of accumulated wisdom? This way, I don’t go crazy and neither does anyone else. Have you ever seen a state asylum? I’m just doing my bit towards keeping you all ticking over as you should. It’s good for you."
Patrick had allowed himself a few moments to digest this new information. Then: "You gave me syphilis," he said, very slowly, "for the good of my mental health?"
"Um." William replied. "I didn’t mean to?"
- Boomtown
Harry Potter, the wizarding world's golden boy, wanted to risk severe embarrassment and outraged lectures from everyone from Granger to Dumbledore so he could get in some serious shagging time with Draco. Draco really thought he ought to get some sort of prize for that, possibly something made out of chocolate with "Draco Malfoy Wins At Sex" written across the top.
- The Malfoy Guide to Productive Extortion
“Because that's what Santa does to bad boys and girls,” Xander said. The troop of Cub Scouts stood in rapt attention before him. Their faces paled as most of them stood in silence. One of the boys in the back began to cry quietly.
“Xander!” Dawn yelled. “They just asked how you lost your eye. There's no need to scare them.”
“Sorry, Dawn,” Xander turned back to the Cub Scouts. “Don't worry. Santa will never think you're bad as long as you follow my advice. So remember what I said. If you stand by your friends and work together, there's nothing you can't do. Even the weakest person can provide crucial help, so don't exclude them. And always remember the number one rule. What is it?”
“BROS BEFORE HOS!” the boys chorused.
“That's right. Now run along,” Xander dismissed them. He turned to Dawn. “Good kids.”
She frowned at him. “Bros before hos? Do I fall under that?”
“Dawn, of course not. Just remember, you're my bro and my ho,” Xander assured her. Her frown turned into a glare. “Or possibly something much less offensive,” he quickly added.
- Wonders Never Cease, part of Oh, the Places He Goes!
Nicholas offered to teach Danny chess, hoping it would help him keep boredom at bay. Danny picked up the basics quickly, if you didn't try to make him worry about notation. It had to be said, however, that his style of play was proving to be quite unlike anything Nicholas had ever encountered.
Danny sent a knight after Angel's sacrificial pawn. "Reeheheheheeeeeeee! Here comes the horsie! 'Oh no! I'll be trampled!' Stomp stomp stomp stomp. 'Aaaaagh I die'. Reeheheheheeeeeeee. He's killed your pawn. So sad, he'll never see his wife and little ones again."
"Well done," Angel said dryly.
"The horse's name is Ken. If you need to take a minute to gather yourself, write a letter to the pawn's family, that's okay. I know that sort of thing can be very hard on a commander."
What hath I wrought? Angel wondered. He fixed Danny with a look.
Danny smiled at him, unconcerned. Angel had a sudden mental picture of the inside of Danny's head as a very large bouncy castle, in a particularly manic holiday camp, the water supply of which had been liberally spiked with LSD.
- behold a pale horsie
4. General Hammond is the only individual permitted to place the training scenario on hold or stop it entirely. Any attempt by any other member of base command to broadcast such a ruling shall be considered interference in the scenario.
("Ah," Sam said. "The O'Neill Rule."
"Please," Daniel said, looking hurt. "The O'Neill/Jackson Rule. That tactic was my idea."
"I am still not convinced it was an honorable method of achieving victory," Teal'c said.
"Got everyone to put their weapons down and come running out of cover, didn't it?" Jack asked. "And we won. Again. Wasn't that our third in a row?"
"This is why," Daniel said, "they don't let any of us be on the same team anymore.")
5. For the duration of the scenario, all base personnel will be considered active and involved in the scenario unless they are wearing white armbands. Any individual wearing a white armband is in the process of assisting with the scenario or performing necessary non-training activity. Wearing a white armband when you have not specifically been ordered to do so, for purposes of preparing or accomplishing an ambush, shall be considered interference in the scenario.
("That was a good one," Sam said, wistfully. "I didn't even get shot once in that one. And it was over and we were home before dinner.")
- The Only Winning Move
"Excuse me, sir, but what did I do?" he asked, and Sheppard glared at Evan harder.
"You broke my space boat," Sheppard said darkly.
"You know, it sounds more impressive when you don't call it a space boat," McKay said from where he was sitting, apparently randomly to Evan's mind, in the corner of Sheppard's office. "You could call it, say, my enormous mid-life crisis penis-substitute Ancient warship."
Trying hard not to think about his CO's mid-life crisis penis-substitute Ancient warship, Evan winced and said, "McKay, what are you even doing here?"
"If you're going to be cooking for the entire expedition," McKay said smugly, "I thought it would be best to give you my list of dietary requirements in person."
"You broke my space boat," Sheppard said.
Evan put his head in his hands and tried not to weep.
- A Shopping Cart Full of Cans
There's another case file that Patrick doesn't dare take to the office. The walls of Patrick's house don't have photos strung up on the walls (except for sometimes they do, when he really needs to figure it out, like with Gabe), and unless someone knew exactly which folder to glance under in Patrick's filing cabinet, they'd never come across the list and photos. And even then, they might not fully understand why Patrick would keep a list of criminals shot dead over the past five years by their particular district.
Patrick glances over at the door. He can see Sergeant Way's office from here, the pale man with raven black hair speaking passionately to the Lieutenant. In the past five years, Gerard has killed five times as many men as any other man on the force. All have been killed in the line of duty, and after proper warning was given. There's never been an investigation into the shootings beyond a cursory check, and despite numerous offers at promotion, Way keeps turning them down in order to stay on the streets.
Gerald glances to the side and spots Patrick looking at him, flashing him a small smile before returning to his conversation with Nolan.
- A Good Man Is Hard To Find
“You know, I’ve never been very good at the whole ‘medical ethics’ thing, but I’m pretty sure there’s some kind of confidentiality clause in there somewhere,” House said thoughtfully as Wilson rolled his eyes.
Xander grabbed the knapsack at his feet and pulled out a stack of papers. “Read ‘em and weep.”
House quickly skimmed through the first few pages and raised his eyebrows at Xander. “Is it okay if I chuckle instead?”
“Go ahead, I did,” Xander said with a grin.
“What? What’s going on?” Angel asked. “Those look like legal documents.”
“Pretty impressive ones, too,” Wilson observed as he read over House’s shoulder.
“According to this, these guys can ask me pretty much anything they want,” House told him. “They also have Power of Attorney, all the rights of next of kin, and, assuming I’m reading this correctly, the right to lock you in a small, reinforced cell if someone named ‘Rupert Giles’ deems it necessary. Man, these guys own your ass.”
“They what? ” Angel shouted, not nearly as amused as everyone else in the room.
“Yeah, sorry about that. The locking you in a cell part isn’t supposed to be included in this copy,” Xander explained gleefully. “Dawn must have accidentally slipped it in before she printed it out for me.”
“Let me see those,” Angel demanded.
“I would, but gee, I’m not sure I’m legally allowed to do that without their permission. I wouldn't want to break the law or anything,” House said smugly, holding the papers out of Angel’s line of sight.
- Enigmatic Absurdities
- Crosswards
This is not the thing that yesterday's Meredith would do. It's not the thing that pick me, choose me, love me Meredith would do. It's not the kind of thing that don't-call-me-a-whore Meredith would do either, because this Meredith, the one she is right now? She is kind of a whore, but more than that, she's kind of happy with it. She still wouldn't let anyone call her one, of course- and if Derek opens his mouth and says one word to ruin it, she's going to make sure he's at Seattle Grace as a patient instead of a doctor, because she's pretty sure he could take him and then leave him sitting there injured and bleeding until she gets off - but for now, she's nothing but dirty thoughts and nerve endings and, fuck, hormones. Hormones are awesome.
Meredith's fucked a married man before- that was prom, in a nutshell- but she's never screwed a couple at the same time.
She kisses Addison. When she feels Addison's hand knotting itself in her hair, she knows she's won.
- All I Really Want
"Bill," he’d asked, "why can’t you keep your cock to yourself for five minutes in a row?"
"The Greeks," Bill stated, as if no further explanation should be necessary. Obviously all promiscuity was the fault of ancient peoples. Had Patrick never been told?
"The Greeks?"
"They were clever guys. They invented democracy and the theatre and heated flooring - "
"I’m fairly sure that was the Romans."
William waved the comment away. "Inessential. My point is, the Greeks were intelligent men. And they thought that if a person didn’t have enough sex, they’d go mad. They said getting off with other people was vital for a person’s mental wellbeing, and who am I to argue with thousands of years of accumulated wisdom? This way, I don’t go crazy and neither does anyone else. Have you ever seen a state asylum? I’m just doing my bit towards keeping you all ticking over as you should. It’s good for you."
Patrick had allowed himself a few moments to digest this new information. Then: "You gave me syphilis," he said, very slowly, "for the good of my mental health?"
"Um." William replied. "I didn’t mean to?"
- Boomtown
Harry Potter, the wizarding world's golden boy, wanted to risk severe embarrassment and outraged lectures from everyone from Granger to Dumbledore so he could get in some serious shagging time with Draco. Draco really thought he ought to get some sort of prize for that, possibly something made out of chocolate with "Draco Malfoy Wins At Sex" written across the top.
- The Malfoy Guide to Productive Extortion
“Because that's what Santa does to bad boys and girls,” Xander said. The troop of Cub Scouts stood in rapt attention before him. Their faces paled as most of them stood in silence. One of the boys in the back began to cry quietly.
“Xander!” Dawn yelled. “They just asked how you lost your eye. There's no need to scare them.”
“Sorry, Dawn,” Xander turned back to the Cub Scouts. “Don't worry. Santa will never think you're bad as long as you follow my advice. So remember what I said. If you stand by your friends and work together, there's nothing you can't do. Even the weakest person can provide crucial help, so don't exclude them. And always remember the number one rule. What is it?”
“BROS BEFORE HOS!” the boys chorused.
“That's right. Now run along,” Xander dismissed them. He turned to Dawn. “Good kids.”
She frowned at him. “Bros before hos? Do I fall under that?”
“Dawn, of course not. Just remember, you're my bro and my ho,” Xander assured her. Her frown turned into a glare. “Or possibly something much less offensive,” he quickly added.
- Wonders Never Cease, part of Oh, the Places He Goes!
Nicholas offered to teach Danny chess, hoping it would help him keep boredom at bay. Danny picked up the basics quickly, if you didn't try to make him worry about notation. It had to be said, however, that his style of play was proving to be quite unlike anything Nicholas had ever encountered.
Danny sent a knight after Angel's sacrificial pawn. "Reeheheheheeeeeeee! Here comes the horsie! 'Oh no! I'll be trampled!' Stomp stomp stomp stomp. 'Aaaaagh I die'. Reeheheheheeeeeeee. He's killed your pawn. So sad, he'll never see his wife and little ones again."
"Well done," Angel said dryly.
"The horse's name is Ken. If you need to take a minute to gather yourself, write a letter to the pawn's family, that's okay. I know that sort of thing can be very hard on a commander."
What hath I wrought? Angel wondered. He fixed Danny with a look.
Danny smiled at him, unconcerned. Angel had a sudden mental picture of the inside of Danny's head as a very large bouncy castle, in a particularly manic holiday camp, the water supply of which had been liberally spiked with LSD.
- behold a pale horsie
4. General Hammond is the only individual permitted to place the training scenario on hold or stop it entirely. Any attempt by any other member of base command to broadcast such a ruling shall be considered interference in the scenario.
("Ah," Sam said. "The O'Neill Rule."
"Please," Daniel said, looking hurt. "The O'Neill/Jackson Rule. That tactic was my idea."
"I am still not convinced it was an honorable method of achieving victory," Teal'c said.
"Got everyone to put their weapons down and come running out of cover, didn't it?" Jack asked. "And we won. Again. Wasn't that our third in a row?"
"This is why," Daniel said, "they don't let any of us be on the same team anymore.")
5. For the duration of the scenario, all base personnel will be considered active and involved in the scenario unless they are wearing white armbands. Any individual wearing a white armband is in the process of assisting with the scenario or performing necessary non-training activity. Wearing a white armband when you have not specifically been ordered to do so, for purposes of preparing or accomplishing an ambush, shall be considered interference in the scenario.
("That was a good one," Sam said, wistfully. "I didn't even get shot once in that one. And it was over and we were home before dinner.")
- The Only Winning Move
"Excuse me, sir, but what did I do?" he asked, and Sheppard glared at Evan harder.
"You broke my space boat," Sheppard said darkly.
"You know, it sounds more impressive when you don't call it a space boat," McKay said from where he was sitting, apparently randomly to Evan's mind, in the corner of Sheppard's office. "You could call it, say, my enormous mid-life crisis penis-substitute Ancient warship."
Trying hard not to think about his CO's mid-life crisis penis-substitute Ancient warship, Evan winced and said, "McKay, what are you even doing here?"
"If you're going to be cooking for the entire expedition," McKay said smugly, "I thought it would be best to give you my list of dietary requirements in person."
"You broke my space boat," Sheppard said.
Evan put his head in his hands and tried not to weep.
- A Shopping Cart Full of Cans
There's another case file that Patrick doesn't dare take to the office. The walls of Patrick's house don't have photos strung up on the walls (except for sometimes they do, when he really needs to figure it out, like with Gabe), and unless someone knew exactly which folder to glance under in Patrick's filing cabinet, they'd never come across the list and photos. And even then, they might not fully understand why Patrick would keep a list of criminals shot dead over the past five years by their particular district.
Patrick glances over at the door. He can see Sergeant Way's office from here, the pale man with raven black hair speaking passionately to the Lieutenant. In the past five years, Gerard has killed five times as many men as any other man on the force. All have been killed in the line of duty, and after proper warning was given. There's never been an investigation into the shootings beyond a cursory check, and despite numerous offers at promotion, Way keeps turning them down in order to stay on the streets.
Gerald glances to the side and spots Patrick looking at him, flashing him a small smile before returning to his conversation with Nolan.
- A Good Man Is Hard To Find
“You know, I’ve never been very good at the whole ‘medical ethics’ thing, but I’m pretty sure there’s some kind of confidentiality clause in there somewhere,” House said thoughtfully as Wilson rolled his eyes.
Xander grabbed the knapsack at his feet and pulled out a stack of papers. “Read ‘em and weep.”
House quickly skimmed through the first few pages and raised his eyebrows at Xander. “Is it okay if I chuckle instead?”
“Go ahead, I did,” Xander said with a grin.
“What? What’s going on?” Angel asked. “Those look like legal documents.”
“Pretty impressive ones, too,” Wilson observed as he read over House’s shoulder.
“According to this, these guys can ask me pretty much anything they want,” House told him. “They also have Power of Attorney, all the rights of next of kin, and, assuming I’m reading this correctly, the right to lock you in a small, reinforced cell if someone named ‘Rupert Giles’ deems it necessary. Man, these guys own your ass.”
“They what? ” Angel shouted, not nearly as amused as everyone else in the room.
“Yeah, sorry about that. The locking you in a cell part isn’t supposed to be included in this copy,” Xander explained gleefully. “Dawn must have accidentally slipped it in before she printed it out for me.”
“Let me see those,” Angel demanded.
“I would, but gee, I’m not sure I’m legally allowed to do that without their permission. I wouldn't want to break the law or anything,” House said smugly, holding the papers out of Angel’s line of sight.
- Enigmatic Absurdities