These guys are not cool; and by not cool, I mean totally not sweet.
[ rant mode initiated ]
Okay. I'm not sure how many of you are into the martial arts (or the drama involved with particular branches), but there have been a few things in life that bug me. Certain people in office, Michael Jackson's face, there are quite a number.
One of them that particularly annoy me are fake martial arts teachers. These people make me sick. Being a fraudulent phony piece of shit is one thing, but passing that on to your students and giving them the false impression that they can defend themselves not only endangers their lives, but produces something of a downward spiral eventually leading to the continued misunderstanding of what it is to be a martial artist.
I mean, if they wanna play NINJA MASTER at age 40, that's fine. Little kids do it all the time, and you don't *have* to grow up. But for the LOVE of GOD, WHY do they feel compelled to share their legacy of utterly useless and/or mistaken techniques to hard working, money paying people who are foolish or ignorant enough to believe their claims without researching them? (then again, I guess the same can be said for McDojo's) I mean the ignorant pay the price in their own way, but that's just going too far... I'm not saying ALL of the techniques are useless, but lying is another thing. I suppose it's harder to tell the truth because if this 'Shidoshi' (note that HIS title for headmaster is 'Shidoshi', not 'Soke') Bryce Dallas admitted that he made up the martial art in the 80's, he most likely would not get the popularity and thus lack the amount of members/meal tickets needed to feed his fat ass today.
Like that n00b Ashida Kim, another FAKE NINJA among the many, who sells black belts for $55, as long as you send in credentials that don't have to be true and aren't really legit or even reviewed! GET YOURS NOW! Alas, I'll have to rant about him some other time. This is about someone who seems potentially more dangerous...
(But seriously, look for his publications in your local Waldenbooks, Borders Books or Barnes and Noble. You'll laugh. Alot. 'MONKEY STEALS THE PEACH'!)
Before I go any further, read this. READ IT.
http://www.e-budo.com/forum/showthread.php?t=31812
Don't worry, you don't have to read all freaking 58 pages. Just the first 5-10 or so, and each is relatively short. You'll get the general idea; but it escalates, so if you want to read more, be my guest.
Any who might happen to have any knowledge of ninja, Japanese history / traditional weapons, or even tiny tidbits of Japanese language will be appalled. Hell, the things the 'Konigun Ninjas' say make even laymen scratch their heads.
So... basically--
1.) Apparently in some backwoods town (in Mississippi if I'm not mistaken) there is a 'ninja master' instructor named Bryce Dallas. He has a secret Japanese teacher named Saiija (not even a Japanese name as you may know) whom is so elusive that for some reason, nobody but Bryce and his students have ever met him. This 'Saija' had to retire in 1985 because while Bryce and students Tracy, Kevin, and Earnest were there, they were attacked by Togakure Ninjas (you know, the REAL ones). During the attack Shidoshi Saija was badly crippled and passed on the title of Shidoshi to Bryce. (FYI, the title 'shidoshi' is senior instructor according to Masaaki Hatsumi, the REAL title for the inheritor of a ninja clan is 'soke')...
'Shidoshi Saija now lives on the side of the mountain, at the monastery on the island of Kyushu, protected by yamabushi, a days hike from Kagoshima.'
lawl
2.) Did you know this? According to the website http://www.konigunninjutsu.com , there are RED, WHITE, and BLACK ninjas! Konigun is a 'red' sect, meaning that they are a Christian art and are forbidden to be hired out as assassins.
"Black sects are the ones in movies that are hired to assassinate people. They are basically atheist and will do anything to further themselves."
"White sects are Shinto and not Buddhist. They follow the way of Shintoism."
Hm, you learn something new every day! I totally want to be a purple ninja. lawl
3.) Read deeper, and some of the instructors even allegedly impregnated underage female members for them to be in his 'Super Secret Ninja Inner Knighthood'... the ol' ninja teacher trick eh?! Totally sweet! You can make money by stealing, and scamming people outta their money, OR founding a cult-like religion, which involves both, PLUS sex with underage girls! AWESOME!!! >______< lawl
4.) Throughout it's 800-year-old history, the CHRISTIAN art of Konigun Ninjutsu has thrived. Even when Christianity wasn't introduced to Japan until 1543. Those sneaky missionaries, I tell you! Maybe it's only natural that heretics will eventually bow down to the will of GOD, it's only human nature! Seriously. The history of Scientology is more believable than this BOOLSHEET.
5.) Guys, screw your legit Japanese history. This is how the daikatana was REALLY used; it's a two person weapon. How about that teamwork!
http://www.konigunninjutsu.com/archive/4172005.html
Forget what everyone else tells you. It wasn't the SPEAR or PIKE that took down cavalry; it was teams of badly organized ninja using subpar skills to wield a sword that wasn't designed for such a task!
6.) They even sell $20-40 swords at the LOW LOW prices of $85+! Sweet deal. Check it out yourself. SUPER SAFE 440 stainless steel (Wallhanger quality and brittle enough to break if you clash with it like they do! Free metal shard in the eye!)
http://www.konigunninjutsu.com/store/swords.html
(On the other hand, this is a reasonably accurate guide to grades of steel used for the purpose of swordcrafting)
http://www.angelic.org/highlander/metallurgy/grades.html
7.) THE ninja master himself, Bryce Dallas. It shows a different pic of a balding, chubby man on the website. This guy IS the admirable height of 6'6, but he is of even more impressive stature than you THINK!
http://ryuukageninjutsu.com/myPictures/samurai1.jpg
http://www.e-budo.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=9569&stc=1
I didn't think anyone could do perpetual Baika no Jutsu, until now! Supposedly, Bryce claimed that while spending time as a military sniper in South America, he inhaled a rare spore that made him as hefty as he is. Come on. Even his students admit that he's overweight but 'getting better.' So, when did you want to buy your LOGIC and COMMON SENSE back? I'll sell it to you for the low price of $399.99, the price of a one week Konigun Ninjutsu training camp.
8.) They don't each one handed sword except for reverse grip. 'Cause you know, REVERSE GRIP is the best way to hold a sword liek evar. Who cares if it reduces 50% of your defensive and offensive capability, it looks WAY cooler. They say that the military uses reverse grip with knives while training their soldiers. Maybe I shouldn't point out that KNIVES are different from SWORDS even to the point of having different construction; knives you can get away with stainless steel unless you plan on clashing them together like those Konigun idiots do with swords, instead of you know, plunging them into people's vital points like you're supposed to.
9.) The 13th rank is "Yamabushi"; sash is Black w/ Green Tiger [Red Medallion Four Points]; 'translation' is: "Distinguished Ninja (Mountain Warrior)". That medallion isn't just for show of flashiness... they're supposed to protect the bearer from Shadow Demons (I'm not kidding). And who cares if the sash is never used as a ranking system in Japanese martial arts; Shidoshi Bryce Dallas is a good Christian, and that is the word of GOD!
Sometimes, I really wish I was too. Then I'd believe in Hell, and I can rest assured that this piece of trash is going there.
10.) David Sims quotes that "When I was in Konigun, Bryce Dallas said that the "Koni" in "Konigun" was the same as in "Konichiwa." Just as "konichiwa" means "friendly greeting," "konigun" means "friendly force." I'll let you Japanese speakers make of that what you will."
...lawl...just... LAWL
You know, until I saw the e-budo thread, I didn't realize I could laugh and cry at the same time. Just read the rest of the thread if you're so masochistic. And sorry if I misquoted some of those things. I'll just put a disclaimer that not all the material said here was by me, obviously ;P
11.) THE HISTORY OF JAPAN!
http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:MwqsxasSkRkJ:konigunninjutsu.cfw2.com/page.asp%3Fcontent_id%3D1668+History+of+Konigun+Ninjutsu&hl=en
I don't need to say much more. I really, REALLY don't. If you can't put 2 and 2 together from this mountain of evidence, I'm sorry, I am.
12.) I love how the members of this cult repeatedly claim it to not be one, and their main avenue of attack? Accuse e-budo.com of being a martial arts hate cult! YES! WOO! Apparently they are so radical-minded, they don't even realize the difference between criticism and hate. Hell, not even criticism, just the need for TRUTH. From reading this entire thread I've learned much of what NOT to do in an argument. Like for example, DON'T try to prove your point by retaliating with a character attack when YOUR cult leader is on the spotlight. Like they said, you can eat live human babies and post pictures of them on the Web, and still be factually correct; trying to discredit one of the many members on E-budo is like taking a rock off a mountain and saying you moved it. DON'T try to say that you can't prove a negative; you can, quite easily in fact. It got even more amusing when R A Hawkins joined the fun, as I've only seen the most fruitless and inconclusive arguments from what might possibly be a third rate writer.
13.) Pay attention carefully and you'll see that the leader matches all of these warning signs, as do the members.
http://www.rickross.com/warningsigns.html
I once thought that being a martial artist was about learning how to discover your own path and overcoming obstacles, not having some obese bastard tell you to do a hundred pushups when he can barely do a few himself (it's not his fault, as he's FULL OF LARD SPORES, even a NINJA GRANDMASTER can't beat that) and trying to decide your path for you with absolute control.
14.) BTW, you want certifications? You got them. Anyone reading this who can speak a tidbit of Japanese, prepare to be APPALLED.
http://ryuukageninjutsu.com/myPictures/koniguncertificate.jpg
15.) Quoting an email from one of Dallas' students:
"I really wish the entire style would just fall apart because I am tired of feeling trapped. It's like a gang where once you join you can't ever leave. I have not said anything to anybody in the style because i'm afraid of getting in trouble with the higher black sashes. I would just stop coming to class but i know that Shidoshi or some of the black sashes would just come knocking on my door. I am so tired of this. It needs to stop. I want out"
How hopeless does reading that make you feel? I swear...
Freaking A. I don't need to say anymore. Even if you prove half of these wrong, anyone who looks at the site with ANY KIND OF REASONABLE amount of LOGIC will see that these shits are fucking. FAKE. And it seems that the students just don't want their MYSTICAL NINJA FANTASY to be dispelled, else go back to mundane lives; or realize that the 17+ years they spent as a fake ninja would be over from here on out if Mr. Dallas gets busted.
Being a fake ninja must be cool, yeah? It's way better than being a normal budoka, no matter how effective you are in real life it's better to be a ninja cause they can teleport and KAGEBUNSHIN NO JUTSU in fantasy land! WOOT! [/sarcasm]
I swear, sometimes I think to myself that cults that commit mass suicide are so much easier to deal with than these guys. On the bright side, at least they don't have celebrities promoting their cause in Hollywood, yet.
You know, I could go on, but since I know that most of you have at least SOME amount of logic, I'll leave it in your hands.
[ rant mode deactivated ]
Thanks for reading this bull. Hello to everyone I haven't seen in forever~
Okay. I'm not sure how many of you are into the martial arts (or the drama involved with particular branches), but there have been a few things in life that bug me. Certain people in office, Michael Jackson's face, there are quite a number.
One of them that particularly annoy me are fake martial arts teachers. These people make me sick. Being a fraudulent phony piece of shit is one thing, but passing that on to your students and giving them the false impression that they can defend themselves not only endangers their lives, but produces something of a downward spiral eventually leading to the continued misunderstanding of what it is to be a martial artist.
I mean, if they wanna play NINJA MASTER at age 40, that's fine. Little kids do it all the time, and you don't *have* to grow up. But for the LOVE of GOD, WHY do they feel compelled to share their legacy of utterly useless and/or mistaken techniques to hard working, money paying people who are foolish or ignorant enough to believe their claims without researching them? (then again, I guess the same can be said for McDojo's) I mean the ignorant pay the price in their own way, but that's just going too far... I'm not saying ALL of the techniques are useless, but lying is another thing. I suppose it's harder to tell the truth because if this 'Shidoshi' (note that HIS title for headmaster is 'Shidoshi', not 'Soke') Bryce Dallas admitted that he made up the martial art in the 80's, he most likely would not get the popularity and thus lack the amount of members/meal tickets needed to feed his fat ass today.
Like that n00b Ashida Kim, another FAKE NINJA among the many, who sells black belts for $55, as long as you send in credentials that don't have to be true and aren't really legit or even reviewed! GET YOURS NOW! Alas, I'll have to rant about him some other time. This is about someone who seems potentially more dangerous...
(But seriously, look for his publications in your local Waldenbooks, Borders Books or Barnes and Noble. You'll laugh. Alot. 'MONKEY STEALS THE PEACH'!)
Before I go any further, read this. READ IT.
http://www.e-budo.com/forum/showthread.php?t=31812
Don't worry, you don't have to read all freaking 58 pages. Just the first 5-10 or so, and each is relatively short. You'll get the general idea; but it escalates, so if you want to read more, be my guest.
Any who might happen to have any knowledge of ninja, Japanese history / traditional weapons, or even tiny tidbits of Japanese language will be appalled. Hell, the things the 'Konigun Ninjas' say make even laymen scratch their heads.
So... basically--
1.) Apparently in some backwoods town (in Mississippi if I'm not mistaken) there is a 'ninja master' instructor named Bryce Dallas. He has a secret Japanese teacher named Saiija (not even a Japanese name as you may know) whom is so elusive that for some reason, nobody but Bryce and his students have ever met him. This 'Saija' had to retire in 1985 because while Bryce and students Tracy, Kevin, and Earnest were there, they were attacked by Togakure Ninjas (you know, the REAL ones). During the attack Shidoshi Saija was badly crippled and passed on the title of Shidoshi to Bryce. (FYI, the title 'shidoshi' is senior instructor according to Masaaki Hatsumi, the REAL title for the inheritor of a ninja clan is 'soke')...
'Shidoshi Saija now lives on the side of the mountain, at the monastery on the island of Kyushu, protected by yamabushi, a days hike from Kagoshima.'
lawl
2.) Did you know this? According to the website http://www.konigunninjutsu.com , there are RED, WHITE, and BLACK ninjas! Konigun is a 'red' sect, meaning that they are a Christian art and are forbidden to be hired out as assassins.
"Black sects are the ones in movies that are hired to assassinate people. They are basically atheist and will do anything to further themselves."
"White sects are Shinto and not Buddhist. They follow the way of Shintoism."
Hm, you learn something new every day! I totally want to be a purple ninja. lawl
3.) Read deeper, and some of the instructors even allegedly impregnated underage female members for them to be in his 'Super Secret Ninja Inner Knighthood'... the ol' ninja teacher trick eh?! Totally sweet! You can make money by stealing, and scamming people outta their money, OR founding a cult-like religion, which involves both, PLUS sex with underage girls! AWESOME!!! >______< lawl
4.) Throughout it's 800-year-old history, the CHRISTIAN art of Konigun Ninjutsu has thrived. Even when Christianity wasn't introduced to Japan until 1543. Those sneaky missionaries, I tell you! Maybe it's only natural that heretics will eventually bow down to the will of GOD, it's only human nature! Seriously. The history of Scientology is more believable than this BOOLSHEET.
5.) Guys, screw your legit Japanese history. This is how the daikatana was REALLY used; it's a two person weapon. How about that teamwork!
http://www.konigunninjutsu.com/archive/4172005.html
Forget what everyone else tells you. It wasn't the SPEAR or PIKE that took down cavalry; it was teams of badly organized ninja using subpar skills to wield a sword that wasn't designed for such a task!
6.) They even sell $20-40 swords at the LOW LOW prices of $85+! Sweet deal. Check it out yourself. SUPER SAFE 440 stainless steel (Wallhanger quality and brittle enough to break if you clash with it like they do! Free metal shard in the eye!)
http://www.konigunninjutsu.com/store/swords.html
(On the other hand, this is a reasonably accurate guide to grades of steel used for the purpose of swordcrafting)
http://www.angelic.org/highlander/metallurgy/grades.html
7.) THE ninja master himself, Bryce Dallas. It shows a different pic of a balding, chubby man on the website. This guy IS the admirable height of 6'6, but he is of even more impressive stature than you THINK!
http://ryuukageninjutsu.com/myPictures/samurai1.jpg
http://www.e-budo.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=9569&stc=1
I didn't think anyone could do perpetual Baika no Jutsu, until now! Supposedly, Bryce claimed that while spending time as a military sniper in South America, he inhaled a rare spore that made him as hefty as he is. Come on. Even his students admit that he's overweight but 'getting better.' So, when did you want to buy your LOGIC and COMMON SENSE back? I'll sell it to you for the low price of $399.99, the price of a one week Konigun Ninjutsu training camp.
8.) They don't each one handed sword except for reverse grip. 'Cause you know, REVERSE GRIP is the best way to hold a sword liek evar. Who cares if it reduces 50% of your defensive and offensive capability, it looks WAY cooler. They say that the military uses reverse grip with knives while training their soldiers. Maybe I shouldn't point out that KNIVES are different from SWORDS even to the point of having different construction; knives you can get away with stainless steel unless you plan on clashing them together like those Konigun idiots do with swords, instead of you know, plunging them into people's vital points like you're supposed to.
9.) The 13th rank is "Yamabushi"; sash is Black w/ Green Tiger [Red Medallion Four Points]; 'translation' is: "Distinguished Ninja (Mountain Warrior)". That medallion isn't just for show of flashiness... they're supposed to protect the bearer from Shadow Demons (I'm not kidding). And who cares if the sash is never used as a ranking system in Japanese martial arts; Shidoshi Bryce Dallas is a good Christian, and that is the word of GOD!
Sometimes, I really wish I was too. Then I'd believe in Hell, and I can rest assured that this piece of trash is going there.
10.) David Sims quotes that "When I was in Konigun, Bryce Dallas said that the "Koni" in "Konigun" was the same as in "Konichiwa." Just as "konichiwa" means "friendly greeting," "konigun" means "friendly force." I'll let you Japanese speakers make of that what you will."
...lawl...just... LAWL
You know, until I saw the e-budo thread, I didn't realize I could laugh and cry at the same time. Just read the rest of the thread if you're so masochistic. And sorry if I misquoted some of those things. I'll just put a disclaimer that not all the material said here was by me, obviously ;P
11.) THE HISTORY OF JAPAN!
http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:MwqsxasSkRkJ:konigunninjutsu.cfw2.com/page.asp%3Fcontent_id%3D1668+History+of+Konigun+Ninjutsu&hl=en
I don't need to say much more. I really, REALLY don't. If you can't put 2 and 2 together from this mountain of evidence, I'm sorry, I am.
12.) I love how the members of this cult repeatedly claim it to not be one, and their main avenue of attack? Accuse e-budo.com of being a martial arts hate cult! YES! WOO! Apparently they are so radical-minded, they don't even realize the difference between criticism and hate. Hell, not even criticism, just the need for TRUTH. From reading this entire thread I've learned much of what NOT to do in an argument. Like for example, DON'T try to prove your point by retaliating with a character attack when YOUR cult leader is on the spotlight. Like they said, you can eat live human babies and post pictures of them on the Web, and still be factually correct; trying to discredit one of the many members on E-budo is like taking a rock off a mountain and saying you moved it. DON'T try to say that you can't prove a negative; you can, quite easily in fact. It got even more amusing when R A Hawkins joined the fun, as I've only seen the most fruitless and inconclusive arguments from what might possibly be a third rate writer.
13.) Pay attention carefully and you'll see that the leader matches all of these warning signs, as do the members.
http://www.rickross.com/warningsigns.html
I once thought that being a martial artist was about learning how to discover your own path and overcoming obstacles, not having some obese bastard tell you to do a hundred pushups when he can barely do a few himself (it's not his fault, as he's FULL OF LARD SPORES, even a NINJA GRANDMASTER can't beat that) and trying to decide your path for you with absolute control.
14.) BTW, you want certifications? You got them. Anyone reading this who can speak a tidbit of Japanese, prepare to be APPALLED.
http://ryuukageninjutsu.com/myPictures/koniguncertificate.jpg
15.) Quoting an email from one of Dallas' students:
"I really wish the entire style would just fall apart because I am tired of feeling trapped. It's like a gang where once you join you can't ever leave. I have not said anything to anybody in the style because i'm afraid of getting in trouble with the higher black sashes. I would just stop coming to class but i know that Shidoshi or some of the black sashes would just come knocking on my door. I am so tired of this. It needs to stop. I want out"
How hopeless does reading that make you feel? I swear...
Freaking A. I don't need to say anymore. Even if you prove half of these wrong, anyone who looks at the site with ANY KIND OF REASONABLE amount of LOGIC will see that these shits are fucking. FAKE. And it seems that the students just don't want their MYSTICAL NINJA FANTASY to be dispelled, else go back to mundane lives; or realize that the 17+ years they spent as a fake ninja would be over from here on out if Mr. Dallas gets busted.
Being a fake ninja must be cool, yeah? It's way better than being a normal budoka, no matter how effective you are in real life it's better to be a ninja cause they can teleport and KAGEBUNSHIN NO JUTSU in fantasy land! WOOT! [/sarcasm]
I swear, sometimes I think to myself that cults that commit mass suicide are so much easier to deal with than these guys. On the bright side, at least they don't have celebrities promoting their cause in Hollywood, yet.
You know, I could go on, but since I know that most of you have at least SOME amount of logic, I'll leave it in your hands.
[ rant mode deactivated ]
Thanks for reading this bull. Hello to everyone I haven't seen in forever~