I have made a realization
I made a realization today during my Philosophy class. I can't believe it took me this long to realize this, or maybe just it took me this long to admit to it. I don't think I was ever in love with Matt, and if it was love it was not a solid love that I could have a relationship based around. This explains why Matt and my relationship was so rocky all the time, even now after we have not been dating for almost a year.
By realizing this, I realized that I will always love Kyle. I put him down and say things I don't really truly mean because I don't want to admit that I still love him. Unfortunately, as was reiterated to myself in my Philosophy class, people change and I loved the person Kyle was before he started drinking, doing drugs, etc. again. At the time, I didn't know he was back into his old habits when I broke up with him, but after we broke up he had came clean and told me he was back doing it during the summer before I went to college (circa 2005).
I honestly don't know where I'm going with this, but I finally realized that I never loved Matt and I will always love Kyle, even if I say I won't. I think the point of this entry is that I believe I have finally gotten rid of my dating baggage. This doesn't mean I'm going to rush off and date the next shmuck that I see, but that I don't have to be scared that I will be treated badly because I can walk away. And if I'm being treated great and it turns into love, not to be scared that they might change for the worse.
You don't need to comment this entry, this is just merely an outlet for this realization.
By realizing this, I realized that I will always love Kyle. I put him down and say things I don't really truly mean because I don't want to admit that I still love him. Unfortunately, as was reiterated to myself in my Philosophy class, people change and I loved the person Kyle was before he started drinking, doing drugs, etc. again. At the time, I didn't know he was back into his old habits when I broke up with him, but after we broke up he had came clean and told me he was back doing it during the summer before I went to college (circa 2005).
I honestly don't know where I'm going with this, but I finally realized that I never loved Matt and I will always love Kyle, even if I say I won't. I think the point of this entry is that I believe I have finally gotten rid of my dating baggage. This doesn't mean I'm going to rush off and date the next shmuck that I see, but that I don't have to be scared that I will be treated badly because I can walk away. And if I'm being treated great and it turns into love, not to be scared that they might change for the worse.
You don't need to comment this entry, this is just merely an outlet for this realization.