nineteen | who am i [50% droned]

[strike_you_out]

At home
[Slugger opens his bedroom door, walks down to the kitchen, takes a seat at the breakfast table, and awaits his morning waffles and orange juice. Just like every morning.

Just like every morning...

He begins to breathe a little faster.]

At home; front steps
[The front steps are littered in pages and pages of notes. Surrounded by the papers,

Comments

[Night]

[godisachild]

[Pokey put off finding Slugger for as long as he could. In a lot of ways, he just didn't want to have the confrontation with him. Slugger was his best friend since they were little and-

No. He wasn't. They weren't friends since childhood. They weren't friends. ...Were they? I mean, what did they do that was so friendly? I mean, they'd call each other names, and screw around with each other and go fishing and

No. Wrong. Only part of those even happened. And that still wasn't....what was it? He didn't know.

He just stops when he sees Slugger, pausing before bothering to say anything.]

Hey.

....There's something wrong.

[strike_you_out]

[Something is definitely wrong. At the sound of the familiar voice, Slugger's face goes from vacant to wide-eyed, as if suddenly overwhelmed, excited yet unsure.]

Pokey...

I know. Read this.

[He passes you a note. Unfolded, it reads:

My name is Slugger. I am a monster. I have been trapped in Mayfield for 10 months. This is not my home. ]

Does it look right?

[godisachild]

[Pokey looks over the note, squinting at it at first. He opens his mouth to reply, but no sound will come out.]

I....

I don't know. Yes? I mean. It makes sense but if it looks right I don't....

[strike_you_out]

[There's a weird sinking feeling inside him at that. Do you not remember him? He remembers you, but how much of it is true and how much is fake is something to debate. For the moment, he's trying to focus on the things he believes are true.]

You are Pokey Minch. You have something named Josephine---

[A dog? No. It's bigger, it's not alive. But not a car...]

---a machine. This isn't your home, either.

[godisachild]

[It's time for him to have a sinking feeling too. That's it. That's all you're saying about him? Especially with all the time they've spent together. ...That isn't the problem here.]

I....That's right. I...I'm Pokey Minch...[Though the last name comes out sounding weirder.] .....And it isn't.

But. I keep remembering. Like it is. And it-

[Isn't all so bad. It should be. But it isn't all bad.]

[strike_you_out]

Me too.

[How is it he can feel so sure that he's known you his whole life and yet know it's a lie? Worse yet, if it is a lie, it's one that some part of him wishes were true.]

Do you remember how we met?

[godisachild]

Of course I remember.

[He sounds offended by the idea that he wouldn't remember something like how they met.]

How could I forget? It was in September. We were about five, and we met when you were playing outside with one of your dad's golf clubs. You were practicing taking a swing, and then you ran me down when you saw me and tried to hit me after bludgeoning two other kids and-

[He stops, mouth just going slack. I....part of that right? Some part of that is right, he knows that. He just...he doesn't know which part.

And God. Part of him, some part of him, wants the idea of him having always known you to be true.]

[strike_you_out]

[While Pokey retells it, Slugger seems to go into a trance-like state as he waits for this memory to materialize more clearly in his mind.]

I remember. It was my first day--

[first day of what? first day of school? no, no...]

I'd just moved in. I was... scared. But you told me what was happening so I let you go. Then I saw you at summer camp and I--

[wanted to be your friend?]

--we became friends.

[godisachild]

[Pokey stares for a minute, trying to think, before nodding.]

I....that's right.

It was your first day here. And you wanted to know what happened, and I explained. But we didn't become friends at summer camp, we-

[When did they become friends?

Are they friends?

One part of him declares loudly that of course they're friends. They have been for years. And another part declares, more quietly, that they are friends. Somehow they're friends, despite a lot of differences. But an even smaller part tells him that they aren't, never could be. Who would want to be his friend? Why would Slugger of all people want to be his friend? Slugger who was athletic and more popular and a violent monster and-

He grits his teeth for a minute. God. He hates this.]

....Are we friends?

[strike_you_out]

[Friends? Slugger's gaze drops down to the note in his hand - 'I am a monster.' ]

...

[A monster wouldn't know what friendship is. But in these memories he has, even if they are false and belong to a separate and nonexistent human self, he knows what it's like to have friends and family. And you are more than his friend. You are his brother.]

If you can befriend a monster, then... I guess we are.

[godisachild]

[He's just quiet for a moment. What does he really say to that? Because part of his memory remembers the monster you are, and the other part remembers the childhood friend. And there's some line in the middle where the two of those blur.]

....I think I could.

I don't think I'm much better, somehow, anyway.

[But he doesn't know why. He just knows there's some memories there of him where he can't view himself as good. There's something wrong, something else polluting who he's supposed to be.

And he can't put his finger on it.]

[strike_you_out]

[He can't believe he's about to suggest it, but---]

Maybe we should stop thinking about it. For now...

[The fireworks appear to be starting and the initial bursts draw Slugger's attention to the sky.]

[godisachild]

[Pokey's just silent. He wants to push the issue. A lot. It's absurdly important to him and for some reason...he feels like if he doesn't do it now? He'll never do it again. That some part of him would keep him from having the courage to inquire further.

But he just nods.]

Yeah. You're probably right.

[And so, he'll turn to watch the fireworks, in silence, with his best friend.]

[strike_you_out]

[He knows. He still wants to talk about it as well and he's almost afraid that if he stops thinking about it, everything will be lost completely. But at the same time? He wants to see what will happen.

Taking a few steps forward, he finds a good patch of grass to sit on and looks over his shoulder at Pokey.]

[godisachild]

[Pokey just stares for a moment before, slowly, coming over and sitting beside the other boy.

He doesn't speak. Just watches in silence with his friend.]