Musings for an Early Night
Do I really want to live by myself, or am I asking that living situation to provide something it can't, namely a sense of self-determination?
Do I love people? I know I love some people, some times, but people I don't know? People who hurt me or annoy me? Do I really love the way I say I do as a follower of Christ?
Do I know myself (well enough)?
Can I make important decisions about my future path and ministry if I think the answers to the previous two questions are likely "no" or at least "not enough"?
Could stepping into a ministry prone to failure for want of those unanswered questions lead me to their answers and perhaps even their resolutions?
Would I step into such a ministry for fear of being left behind or passed over, instead of for a true calling?
If I look at the cloudscape where the moon is just hiding behind the precipice of a huge hole in the night sky, lighting it up in colors I've never seen or heard of before, and I realize that I know no one who would feel the same way as I do as I look at it (but I did once) am I alone?
If I pose these questions in a public forum and find that I'm afraid or ashamed to be expressing these things, how long must it have been since I was truly transparent with anyone, including myself?
Do I love people? I know I love some people, some times, but people I don't know? People who hurt me or annoy me? Do I really love the way I say I do as a follower of Christ?
Do I know myself (well enough)?
Can I make important decisions about my future path and ministry if I think the answers to the previous two questions are likely "no" or at least "not enough"?
Could stepping into a ministry prone to failure for want of those unanswered questions lead me to their answers and perhaps even their resolutions?
Would I step into such a ministry for fear of being left behind or passed over, instead of for a true calling?
If I look at the cloudscape where the moon is just hiding behind the precipice of a huge hole in the night sky, lighting it up in colors I've never seen or heard of before, and I realize that I know no one who would feel the same way as I do as I look at it (but I did once) am I alone?
If I pose these questions in a public forum and find that I'm afraid or ashamed to be expressing these things, how long must it have been since I was truly transparent with anyone, including myself?