Don't read unless you REALLY want to understand me better!
This is my Journal Blurb that only I can see unless you open up my Journal without using the friends page so I just decided to put it on an entry too with a few minor changes of course.
Did you ever pop a Barbies head off out of pure demon-like pleasure only to get annoyed when you saw the Barbies plastic face still smiling? Well I feel like that barbie sometimes.. when things happen causing me to feel sad I hold it all in around my friends and stay smiling. Some people may have thought that I didn't care when so n so hugged so n so...but deep inside I was crying because of my secret feelings for them. It's funny though because I liked one person for so long and then out of no where the spark died. And another person I liked for awhile still continues to be in my mind even though I have no business thinking about him when I'm "dating" someone else. This recently discovered phsycological problem is called: Ihavefuckingproblemsism. But then again who doesn't have problems? Everyone has things to go through, some may even be going through the same thing as me. Maybe you like someone who actually likes someone else. You feel like you do not want to interfere but you like them so it is really really hard. Hah maybe you think life is fucked up which it is, and you just want everyone to go to hell. Well I'm there with you buddy but I guess it is better to just live life. Complaining about how life is cruel wont really get us anywhere. Being very social has its ups and downs. You want to talk to people but you want them to be YOUR kind of people. Personalities get intertwined..are you more serious or more into laughing at everything? Hah both fool! If I ever get married I want him to be like that too because great conversations and debates are really important to me but you also gotta be able to laugh at yourself and other people. All in a good hearted way of course, for example if you are going to make fun of other races in a fun lighthearted way where we can all just laugh at ourselves then great. But if you are dead serious about a certain race being stupid or something then uh.. go shoot yourself. lol. NO don't that was a joke...hahaha. Okay not funny but hey at least I know when to quit right? Hah..no, wrong again. So I am definately not a good advice giver because frankly I don't go 'by the book'or anything like that. Things just happen in my life and I take a step in some direction having no clue if it is the right one because people who know me best will say that I am very indecisive! Funny how instead of it making me more cautious, my indecisiveness just makes me more...doomed. I tend to let other people make my choices..co-dependent? I hope not. It is better to find these things out now so I can fix them before it's too late. Speaking of things indecisive and too late, recent events have made me see just how bad my indecisiveness is. I had a decision to make about saying "no" or not and I really think my indecisiveness would have taken the better of me if I hadn't recieved advice. And though I have said it a thousand times my gratefullness for the advice is more then anyone could possible know because this particular decision could have killed me (on the inside). With all this writing and thought it is probably obvious to others that my mind does not stop going and it really doesn't. Even when I am sleeping my dreams always turn into debates or historical refrences. Oooh except for that one I had about Korea it was soo terrifying but anyway not important. I guess what I really want to say is..it's 3am and i gotta go to bed! lmao pwned jk. No really there is a point to all this blabber and I guess it is just what I need for an opening because if you are reading this you will pretty much know who I am. There is definately more to me but the rest will have to be found out by you and you can't figure it all out just by reading my journal, I leave out a lot. But this is a good start I think because it is ranting about issues, debates, love, laughter, and seriousness which is the way I am. So take it or...well you better take it ass, I swear!! lol. Talk to me online or by phone.* But for now read my lacking in deatail Journal!
*#301-694-3445 call me for ANYTHING! Talking to you people is a lot of fun so call just to say hi!